Monday, September 15, 2014

WISH I STILL SMOKED CIGARETTES



When I saw Ronnie Dunn (half of Brooks and Dunn) perform this song on of all shows, The Doctors, I was at first quite appalled. What an awful message, especially on a medical show!



 Didn't realize it but I guess more than one song is tagged.  

Being a former smoker, a serious 3 pack a day sort who has been free for almost 40 years --I thought there is no way this song could in anyway resonate with me. I am delighted I quit and only wish I had never started. I was addicted badly in my youth and it took 21 days  in a hospital on Demerol  to quit the habit. That Demerol is good stuff.

I feel so badly for smokers today.  They are treated like lepers by the never smoked, the arrogantly clean or newly clean.  I know what a ridiculously tough habit it is to break. Regardless of my compassion for them, I choke up today, unable to breathe if I pass a smoker in the street. It is a deal breaker for a relationship.

Yet, partly out of train wreck curiosity,  I listened to his song and his message surprisingly did resonate.

He didn't really want to smoke again.  It was just feeling that glorious invulnerability of youth he missed, not the cigarettes. That time in your life when you didn't know or care what was bad for you.

Those days when nothing bad happened to you no matter how you temped the fates. Invulnerability is bred from lack of knowledge which is a polite term for ignorance. Regardless, the  ignorance of youth was rather blissful, fun and freeing.

I stayed out late, partied hearty, drank too much, smoked too much, sampled a drug or two, ate atrocious heart seizing foods, took stupid dares and chances yet still awoke intact and ready for more each day. No one could convince us that any of those choices had long term effects or that there might be a bill to pay at a later time. No one really considered life past---eeeww--30.

We didn't think about a "later time." There was only now.  That is what he misses and writes about in that song.  Sometimes I miss it too. Those days when the body laughed off abuse or at least appeared to.

Ah yes, today's youth are not as lucky as we were. They "know" but still feel invulnerable thinking surely there will be a cure for any side effects from self inflicted abuse before it is even necessary.  Good luck kids.

Would I want to go back and live recklessly on the edge again?  Absolutely not especially knowing what I know now. Still it would be nice feeling once again that not EVERYTHING has a consequence.

I recently nodded my head vigorously when reading Margaret and Helen's latest delightful post. Helen had a lead off quote that hit home and reminded me of my thoughts today.  "At least one meal a week should taste good enough to be bad for you."  Sadly, we are reduced to that wish thanks to knowledge. Knowledge can be a bit of a bummer.

Cigarettes, beer, wine, french fries, bacon, rare steaks, fried chicken and ice cream were just really good, and not life threatening. Hum, I just realized that I had the palate of a truck driver in my younger days.

Weight was never a problem, breathing came easy, clogged arteries unheard of and energy was on tap.

No, I don't wish I still smoked cigarettes-- but I wouldn't mind having  that feeling of freedom from consequence that came with those days.

Do you miss that feeling of being invulnerable?

Monday, September 8, 2014

I'M CURIOUS


Recently, I was enjoying my early morning computer time (5:30 AM) when Callie started kicking up sand out side barking her head off.  Callie was enjoying her morning toilet and it was still dark out. She is not the bravest of dogs in the dark.

Knowing it could be anything from a bear to a leaf blowing across the road stirring her up, I went on the porch to stare into the rainy dark to look. At first I saw nothing, then I saw headlights shining in the pasture across the street and noticed the tail lights looking back at me.

I live on a corner with  my side road t-boning a main highway. Someone had evidently missed the stop sign all together and had just driven into a ditch.

First thought was an intoxicated driver. Who else drives into a ditch across a clearly marked road?  Did I run immediately to their aid?  Sad to say, I hesitated a few minutes.

I quickly remembered a time when I first moved here that I came upon such an accident in daylight.  The car was still steaming.  As I ran back to check on the occupants, a rather burly young male driver got out--either injured, stoned or wasted-- and started yelling  and waving his arms angrily at me like it was my fault. Don't know how he figured that for I had come up behind him after the fact.

A bit scared by his anger, I told him I would go call for help which I did.  While I was driving to where there was a cell signal, two emergency vehicles (one police and one ambulance) passed me going towards the accident.

When I found a signal I learned it had all ready been called in.  I don't know the outcome for when I came back that way later that day, the car was gone and so was he. It never made our small newspaper.

Thus, that previous episode tempered my desire to jump into help mode a bit. However,very shortly I noticed what appeared to be a large firefly flitting down the road.  I realized, they had gotten out and were trying to get a signal on their cell phone, thus the bouncing firefly.  That is when I went to their aid.

It was a youngish woman (youngish to me is anyone from 30 to 60) who was quite shaken and needed a phone--we don't have cell service here. She was Ok but really rattled. She was quite sober, on her way to work, and had just somehow missed the stop sign.

She had not only gone in the ditch but had hit a tree which set off the air bag. Her chest was hurting from the impact of the airbag and her vehicle was totaled.  She used my land line to call her Mom who lived about a mile down the road to come get her.

The rest of the day, I watched as car after car stop while some one went into the rain and down the ditch to check on possible occupants. As my street sits on a curve, I was a bit nervous for all the caring folks.

Admittedly  I was a bit surprised in this world where too many people supposedly don't want to get involved--just how many did want to get involved. It was quite a bit heart warming. I will add that 98% of  the Good Samaritans were men. Way to go fellas.

What I am curious about is what would you do if you drove by and saw a car smashed in a ditch in an area with no cell service. Would you shake your head thinking "some drunk" and drive on? Would you drive slowly by looking for someone in the car as several did, possibly phoning for help down the road?   Or would you basically risk your own life, pulling partially off  a busy two lane road and diving into a  water filled ditch to see if you could help?

Just curious.