I ATE THE WHOLE THING

"Things I would not tell anyone, I tell the public." ~ Michel de Montaigne.



While blog hopping a few days ago, I found this saying and thought it summed up blogs in general, me in particular. I wish I could remember the blog I found it on but when I hop, it is pretty much a tangled web I weave. A day later I went back to try and find it, I could not retrace my steps Even my history search proved useless. Whose blog I found it on, I would love to thank, for they have turned me on to a mind that I just love. I did some research on Michel and the more I read, the more besotted I became with a 476 year old, Renaissance mind. If you recognize this quote as one you put on your blog, then I thank you. Now, I've got to find his essays.





His truth, however struck me when I thought of this post. What I did is usually one of the things that we rarely even confess to our closest friends, and yet here I am throwing it willy-nilly out into cyber space. Is it the anonymity of a blog? Not really, for my family and friends read my blog. Perhaps it is a form of confession but most likely it is because, I just really didn't have anything else to say today. Regardless, I reveal my confession and obsession.

Stock photo of Pillsbury Orange Sweet Rolls with Icing

These are not gourmet delights, but they delight this person with poorly educated taste buds. It is a rare purchase that I always make with the purest of intentions. I promise myself that I will bake them, eat two, then freeze the rest for a quick sugar fix in the future. That is the lie I tell my self as I slip the carton into my grocery cart, hiding it under the whole wheat bread and Brussels sprouts. Only the cashier will know for sure.

I do wish I had photographed the tray of steaming rolls, slathered in orange icing. Perhaps I really believed my lie of moderation, therefore a picture would be a little dumb. Or perhaps, I didn't want a picture of the body. No corpus delicti--no crime. Innocently, I put two on a plate and sat in front of the TV to watch my Marlins lose.

Oh my, the rolls were good. My oven has been rebelling lately and not holding a true temperature but for these rolls, it did a bang up job. They were incredibly light and the orange icing was melting into the cinnamon crevices. I don't recall getting up, but there were soon two more on my plate.

Perhaps if I had set the whole tray on my lap, I would have seen my error, but the two at a time seemed so innocent and I really thought each two, were the last two. And then there were NONE. Eight rolls, 1360 calories, were in my Dough Girl belly, That is a days worth of calories in one sitting. I was making Pillsbury proud.

Surprisingly, I was not punished with an aching tummy. Physically I felt fine, but I did experience head shaking wonder at my total lack of will power and head hanging shame at my gluttony. The next day I fasted with only liquids to flush out the sugar overload. While I should have felt wired from all that sugar, I was incredibly sluggish. The liquids worked though and I am pretty much back to normal now. Phew !!

Like an unoriginal addict, I swore,"Never again." Also like the unoriginal addict, I am pretty sure such a spectacle will happen again. Hopefully, there will be a long recovery period between bouts of gluttony.

One of the benefits of living such a long time is that you realize that there is no such thing as an original thought nor an original sin. I know, or rather I hope, you are out there. Is having "eaten the whole thing" some where on your resume?

Will you share?