SENIOR JOYS

I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 pm.

Funny how the time frames for having fun and being awake have shrunken to that of an eight year old. No matter what time anyone calls me, their first question is, "Did I wake you?" Now if they call after 9:00 PM there is a good chance they did. But when they call at noon, I do get a bit hurt as I realize most people think I have no waking life at all. I hope it is because the older I get, the longer it takes my voice to get started, so if you startle me, I will always sound groggy.


I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying

Well, I am not really deaf yet but I am losing ground with my hearing. For the past 30 years,my right ear rings this monotonous tune day and night. Now if it could just throw in a few Beatles tunes or a little Barry White. Normally I can ignore the noise, but since we are now talking about it, I am aware of a full blown factory whistle. It thrives on attention. When I am more aware of possible diminishing hearing is when I am constantly messing with the volume button on the remote. Raising the volume for the actors who now days seem to do the Brando mumble more, then rapidly hitting the mute button for commercials. Why are they so LOUD?

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

Now this is ridiculous. Without Tylenol PM, I awake exactly 4 hours after I go to sleep and that is it. No more sleep for Patti. Outside of having to fill the remaining 4 hours in the dark part of the day, I really feel pretty good with only 4 hours sleep. I just know that this isn't right so I seek the magic bullet. With the Tylenol, it is a solid eight hours but I resent that drug being in my body. Any hint besides warm milk (barf), I am open to.

I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...

Think that is one reason I started blogging. Now my stories are in print so I can just access my "search this blog" gadget to see if I have all ready told that story. It is great having them in print. No wondering if I am doing the dreaded rerun. Feel free to remind me in the comments if I slip up and repeat.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

Yep, I lose things and sometimes they just seem to vanish off the earth but my rational mind knows that isn't true. I don't have a big house so there aren't really that many hiding places. Yet for brief periods---they are not inside these four walls. Then the gremlin that made them invisible in the first place, will just as suddenly make them reappear, often in a spot I had just looked. Not sure whether to blame the mind or the eyes.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

Liver spots appear and spider veins play tag.
Weight adds with ease while the stature sags
Eyes squint to read impossible print
A rolling gait replaces the sprint

Youths fear colds, hangovers and sprain
Age worries about an addled brain
No shame now to be in bed by nine
Without Beano, we dare not dine

All is not lost with this aging body of mine
I have gained many gifts along with time
I am wiser, more patient and kinder than the young
White hair makes even the impatient hold their tongue

Senior discounts and paychecks without a job
It is just too darn bad about corn on the cob
Doors are opened for me with a warm sweet smile
Think I will just enjoy this age for awhile

Sorry folks that is my first and last venture into rhyme. I really can eat corn on the cob, just needed something to go with "job". As you can tell, I haven't progressed past the the"roses are red" school of thought.

Have a good day. I plan to.