JOB DESCRIPTION

This is a post I should have done much earlier that I am just getting around to. Sorry. This is like explaining after all the horses have left the barn, why the door was open. Better late than never.

I sat across the desk from the man I wanted to be my boss. We had made an instant connection and I really wanted to work for this fellow. The power company was making a concentrated effort to hire more women as meter readers. The new non-discrimination laws demanded it. His job was to hire the proper quota, but his job was also to discourage those who would not make it through the first week wasting training time. Almost all paths into the power company started in the meter room. The president of the company had started there. I wanted to start there.

He painted the blackest picture possible. He talked of the brain cooking heat and a new meaning to the word "thirst". He talked of the fatigue, spiders, lizards and snakes. He talked of dogs that had a passionate taste for meter readers. He talked of isolation and the need to be self-motivated. He was quick to inform me that women received no special consideration. No route would be for "men only." Then he talked of something I had not even considered but realized just how true it was.

"You will read the meters of the average Jane and John Doe but also those of wife beaters, child molesters, thieves, con-men, serial killers, drug dealers, prostitutes and murderers. You will walk through their yards and stand in front of their meters in full view. They will see you but if you see them, you most likely won't recognize them. You will unwittingly give them the same cherry "Good morning" you give the retiree. Often you will have to go inside their houses to read the meters. You will walk through sections of town that if you had accidentally found your self driving through, you would locked your car doors. You will step around homeless men in alleys with their minds completely blown from wine. They will preach at the top of their voices, that God is coming while using the foulest language you can imagine. We are an equal opportunity service provider. Anyone with money, can have lights. It is the law."

Having thrown all the available brick-bats he could at me, he sat back and studied me while awaiting my reply. Hum, so much for my illusion of walking around in the sunshine through manicured yards, petting cute, gentle dogs, getting in amazing shape with a super tan while earning half again more than I earned at the bank as an officer. The gap between each of our versions was Grand Canyon in scale. Only the the money factor was right.

Like a lot of women who meet a "bad boy", the urge to tame is strong. Surely the "bad boy" won't act that way around me. Sometimes we are just delusional for the sake of want. For someone who had spent her till-then-life working indoors, this sounded quite liberating. The creep factor was a bit daunting but I mean really, how many of those would I ever see? Even creeps work don't they? As for dogs, well all dogs love me. I later learned that some actually "loved" to chew on me.

When I did not crumble, he smiled and asked."Can you start in two weeks?"

This is just to let those of you who feel I lost my mind to read meters know that you were mostly right. However, to be honest, I had been warned. Somehow, the actual job fell between those two versions. It got a lot closer to my version when I moved to the small town.

The hard moments were quite rare though memorable. The good moments were treasures and equally memorable. Besides, I ate quite well. I was finally earning the same salary that a man did and it blew the doors off a banker's salary. That is what we ask of any job unless you are going for creative fulfillment. That I didn't get. Would I do it again--- you bet. With out that job, I would never have gotten into rescue work and I wouldn't have missed that for the world.

I'm convinced we need a national Hug Your Meter Reader Day. I am lobbying for that anyway. Bet it would get through Congress quicker than Health Care Reform.

I can just see the Hallmark cards now.