HAVE YOU TRIED TO RUN LATELY ??

Of course this post does not apply to most of you as you are probably still gazelle like, but any one even near my age can possibly relate. I haven't run in years, mainly because there has been no need. I never was a distance runner in my youth but a heck of a sprinter, really fast but with limited endurance.

I have always admired people who jog daily. Those who can run apparently effortlessly and joyfully, have always made me green with envy. So, for a good portion of my life, I have been a contented walker but always thinking in the back of my mind, I could run if I had to.

I was watching a football game the other day and was focusing on the young players who would often skip back to the sidelines after a good play. I flashed back to my youth and remembered how much fun it was to skip. It is such a joyful way to move.

Could I still skip? I had to try. Planning my skip attempt route to end at the couch for safety reasons, I tried to convince my muscles that they remembered what to do. It may be like bike riding and is lodged somewhere in my memory banks but evidently my filing system is suspect.

It was not pretty folks. My legs turned spastic and incredibly heavy. My feet barely left the ground and thudded in heavy, uncontrolled semicircles as my arms flailed above my head looking for help. I felt like an out of control windmill and my ceiling fan was in serious danger. I was so grateful for having chosen the couch as my final destination. That part worked out quite well.

I am so grateful I did not take that spectacle outside for the neighbor's entertainment. Phew, scratch that off my bucket list. Who needs to skip anyway?

But back to running. Right before Christmas, I was walking my young neighbor boy back to the gate after a lovely visit and gift exchange. Mr. C, whom I wrote about here, drove by, saw us at the gate and came to a screeching halt.

Mr. C had left me a card and some homemade brownies in my mailbox the previous day and wanted to know if I had gotten them all right. I told him they were so good that I had devoured seven eights of the brownies the same day. I asked him to wait while I got his present.

Now Mr C is one of those givers that is hard to give to. He won't take anything from me, I have tried. Fortunately a friend of mine in Florida, Joan, periodically sends me large packages of pricey brand new cosmetics. Thanks to her, I have found a way to gift him.

Joan always includes something for Mr. C and his wife for all the kindness they have shown me. He accepts gifts from her with no protest. She usually packs an expensive cologne for him along with perfume and a nice lipstick for his wife. I so appreciate Joan for making it possible for me to give back to this man who does so much for me.

Their package was in the house and knowing he was in a hurry to deliver more of his calorie loaded presents, I asked him to wait and proceeded to run back to the house to get his gift. It was a nightmare folks. Instead of nice long, smooth strides taking me quickly to the house as I envisioned, my legs turned into pistons on me.

Instead of stretching forward, they went up and down in choppy, teeth jarring stomps. I was moving all right but it was mostly in a vertical fashion. I was making very little forward progress. My house just didn't seem to get much closer as I diligently labored. Then I started to laugh.

Life does travel in circles, karma does exists. Many years ago, I had witnessed an elderly fellow jogging in Florida. He was making the exact same motions I was currently exhibiting. It had tickled me so much at the time that I had actually mimicked his run for my co-workers amusement. I remembered saying, “ He was running, but up and down, not forward,” as I giggled.

Ah, the arrogance of youth. Arrogance my friends will bite you in the butt. I gave up my ungainly attempt to run and walked swiftly to the house only a little bit embarrassed but very amused.

So should I have tried to skip and run at 71 ? Good grief no, not without conditioning and balance work first. But try telling that to the 30 year old mind that lives in this 71 year old carcass. Don't worry, lesson learned. That thirty year old mind has been properly chastised.

So I say, run with caution my friends, skip in the privacy of your own home close to something soft and listen to that 30 year old mind with a healthy dose of skepticism.

I feel a New Years resolution for me to get in better shape coming on.