FRACTURED

She was my friend and still is though we now live in different states. She was first my dog groomer but our mutual love of animals guided us from business to friendship. She often spiffied up my rescues to make them more adoptable.

Sally as I will call her, was married with two children. Both of her children were adopted for she and her husband ( a quiet man but with a delightfully dry sense of humor) could not have children.

Their banker daughter was married and had given them a beloved grandson. Sally's life was pretty full and happy with her new grandson, booming business she conducted from her home and devoted husband. Her teenage son Doug, was a slightly different matter.

Doug had just squeaked out of high school and was working at a local dairy. He was not as bright as his sister and had struggled fiercely just to graduate. Sally said he was an average, sometimes “pain in the butt” teenager.

Not wanting to clean his room or take out the trash and living for any excuse to drive the car were daily occurrences. He was alternately accepting and hostile to parental authority but was an affectionate kid. Kind of an average 18 year old. I had met him and liked him a lot. He was a warm, friendly kid with twinkly eyes and a quick grin. No visible demons.

Sally wasn't too pleased that his best friend Lenny was 23 and apparently with no ambition except to have fun. However, Lenny was always very respectful to her and her husband and was full of “yes sirs and no ma’ams.” Lenny had a border line IQ and appeared mild mannered.

The summer after graduation, Sally said she lost a bit of contact with her boy as he was working at a local dairy in the daytime and traveling with Lenny in the evenings. She knew he needed to try his wings but was later to regret that loss of control. When are you supposed to loosen the reins and by how much?

One summer afternoon, the Sheriff appeared at her door to inform her that her son was being arrested and charged with a double murder. She said that nothing in life prepares you for those words. Nothing. You just stop breathing.

It appears her son had begun to experiment with drugs with his friend Lenny. She so regretted that she never saw the signs. That Saturday, quite high, they decided to rob Lenny's boss who was wealthy and influential. They were broke and wanted some money to buy more drugs.

Sally beat her self up wondering what she had ever done or not done that her son thought robbery was acceptable behavior. What lessons had she missed stressing repeatedly to her son?

The boss lived on a ranch in a lovely “Gone With the Wind” style home with tall columns and rocking chairs on the porch. I had been to their home on a high bill complaint (yes even the rich hate high electric bills) and I could easily imagine sipping a mint julep on that porch.

I had met the wife who could have been a Norman Rockwell model for the perfect grandmother. Grey hair, rosy cheeks and soft eyes. I remember her husband coming in, slipping his arm around her waist that day and asking, “Do you need me for this?” There was the comfort that years bring and a visibly warm affection between them. They were a very pleasant older couple.

Lenny and Doug approached their home that day, claiming a payroll problem and were invited in. His boss had many employees and did not recognize Lenny right away. Then Lenny pulled a gun and demanded money.

His boss calmly gave him all he had and then strangely asked Lenny if he could have just enough back to leave in the basket for church the next day. Lenny returned $5.00 to him and the boss thanked him. It was all incredibly civil for a robbery. Exactly what happened next is subject to different versions.

Lenny fearing he had been recognized, evidently shot the boss first but not fatally, then turned towards the wife. The wounded husband threw himself on his wife to protect her but Lenny put a bullet into her brain. He then did the same to the husband. It was a slaughter. This all occurred over 25 years ago so some of the details are sketchy.

How had such a simple robbery gone so tragic and blood thirsty? How could her son be involved? Where had she gone wrong as a mother? Could she have stopped this terrible tragedy? These are the questions that race through the mind of the mother of a murderer. No, her son had not pulled the trigger, but he was just as guilty by law.

Doug is now serving a life sentence without parole while Lennie, as far as I know, is still on death row after all these years exercising his appeals. Sally's family is forever fractured. Today she still feels the guilt for the tragic deaths of those two elderly people as well as the loss of her son who will grow old and die in prison.

She once told me that whenever she hears of such a tragedy, her immediate thoughts go to the parents of the shooter. She has been known to contact parents of young murders with condolences and sympathy, knowing she is probably the only one who will. Most just need to attach blame to someone.

I know today, that while she is as appalled as the rest of us at the senseless killings in Arizona, she is also thinking of that young man's parents in Tucson. Their family has also been destroyed. They too will wear the blame, maybe rightly, maybe not. Many lives were destroyed that day in Arizona. Many lives fractured.

Sometimes these killers come from dysfunctional families but sometimes that is not the case. Sometimes mental illness or perhaps an essential part is missing like with sociopaths is what makes them capable of horrific crimes. Hopefully some answers and solutions will come from this current tragedy. I know Sally is praying as hard as anyone for that very thing.