NUDE BEACH

I have a blog I enjoy visiting that gave me a good memory jog for this post. Islandwonder writes a picturesque often funny blog set in Hawaii. I love her views of a place I will most likely never get to visit but I also enjoy her sense of humor.

One thing that makes her blog unique is there is no place to leave a comment. It is a bit frustrating at first, especially for a comment whore like I am, but then you learn to just enjoy her posts and move on. Her recent post on a clothing optional beach was fun and reminded me of Greg.

Greg was an airline pilot that often stayed overnight in the hotel which housed the lounge I where I worked part time. Greg is one of those men with such a fantastic body that you secretly craved seeing him naked. It was not totally a sexual thing but largely a desire to just see such perfection. He wasn't muscle bound but sculpted.

There is a baseball player that elicits the same response from me today. If you get a chance to watch Mike Stanton who plays for the Marlins, you will see a body true artists would love to have model for them. I would take up art for that opportunity. I know, I'm a dirty old woman but I am just looking.

Greg was married so we only had a friendly relationship when he was in town. He would come into the lounge, take a seat near my station and we would talk while he waited for dinner and I wasn't busy. One night he asked me if I knew where the local “nude beach” was that he had heard about and was curious.

I had never been but all locals knew where it was if only to make sure we didn't stumble on it by accident. From what my friends had told me who had visited the beach, most of the nudes they saw would have been better served being fully clothed. Seemed the least endowed and droopiest had the greatest desire to bare all.

I told Greg where it was located and he promised to go the next day. He had a flight back home the same evening so I knew I wouldn't hear about it till his next fly in to West Palm. It was a week later that he came in to tell me what had happened.

He found the beach easily enough. When he walked through the sea grape bushes to the beach, he was amazed at all the skin. Taut skin on a few, but mostly saggy, wrinkled or bloated skin. He put his blanket down and sat on it fully dressed at first taking in the scene.

It was hot so he stripped down to his swimsuit which he had worn under his clothes. He said, even that small amount of clothing when surrounded by naked people, made him feel conspicuous. So off came the suit.

He was lying on his blanket and had turned to his stomach to watch the nudes with half closed eyes. After a while, a really pretty girl came up to him, sat on his blanket and struck up a conversation. Pretty sure that perfect body of his interested her.

Greg was acutely aware he was buck naked and was oddly struck shy. He was fearful his body might betray him and he would have an involuntary physical reaction to the lovely lady. So while he raised up on his elbows to talk to her, he continued to lie on his stomach.

She visited a very long time and he stayed belly down. Finally some of her friends called for her to join a volley ball game. Greg took advantage and put his clothes back on. It was then that he discovered that the formerly lily white, never before exposed skin on his behind was suffering a serious sunburn.

Greg was only able to drive back to the hotel by not sitting in the car. He rammed his tender back into the seat and braced his left leg on the floor board to raise his butt off the seat. He was miserable and just glad it wasn't a long drive. An emergency stop would have been brutal.

He was due to pilot a plane back to his home town that evening but knew he would be too distracted by the pain to take the pilot's seat. He confessed his problem and was allowed to fly back as a passenger, liquored up on pain pills.

As embarrassing as that was, he said explaining to his wife was tougher. This was not a situation one could find a lie to fit, nor could he hide the fact that sitting killed him, so he told her the truth. The good thing is that she had a sense of humor and instead of being angry, she laughed and teased him mercilessly till he healed enough to fly again.

The bad thing is that she logged that experience away in her memory vault for future use when she needed to take him down a peg or two. A lot of us women are like that. I pretty much didn't let him forget either. Hope today, he no longer hears about the sunburned bum episode. Pretty sure he has paid enough.

Have you ever had a “nude beach” experience?