MY HEART HURTS

A very dear friend of mine has left my life and that of her family. It was not expected which makes it all the harder to take. The word bereft is making sense right now. This really, really hurts and I feel a giant hole in my being. I suddenly feel fragile with out her in my life.

I have mentioned Joan many times in my blog. She was usually sending me something or contributing to something that I had written  about.  She once allowed me to post a story she had sent me about a very personal time in her life that illustrated a point I had made in one of my stories. She was truly one of my most loyal readers. She never missed a post but only commented via email.

Every where I look in my house is a reminder of her. Something she made or bought for me knowing I would like it. There are two things right in front of me now that have her hand prints on them. On my walls, in my closet, in my cosmetics drawer, everywhere is something of hers.

Joan was one of those friends who listened. If you happened to mention something you might like, it was no time before a package arrived in the mail. She was like this with all her friends and family. One of the most thoughtful people I have ever met. She set the friendship bar so very high and was happiest doing for others.

The amazing thing about our friendship spanning about 20 years is that we  met face to face only one time for just a few hours. The rest of the time, the Internet has kept us in touch on a very regular basis.

Years ago, I had a deaf, nearly blind, albino Great Dane in my shelter. This was not an adoptable dog so he was there to stay. I did not know Joan, we lived miles apart, but we had a blacksmith in common. He mentioned to her about the dog and she called about coming to visit.

We had a lovely visit and though she couldn't take the dog, she and her husband became my very first sponsors. They sent me money each month to help support the giant dog. It was such a great help and their caring meant as much if not more than the money. They didn't think I was nuts to rescue dogs.

We have never lived close but have always been close. She was my “go to“ friend. She was a retired nurse who knew medicine but also computers. I was constantly picking her brain. We could discuss anything with out offending the other. I was as comfortable with Joan as if she were family.

I didn't realize how much I leaned on her friendship. Now I know just how much. My heart actually hurts.

I will miss you terribly dear friend. I take some comfort in knowing you and Ted are together again and that the Rainbow Bridge is full of those giant Danes you have loved through the years.

Thank you for the years we had as friends. I will always treasure them.   Hopefully, we will meet again.

I can't thank all of you enough for stopping by and giving comfort. That is what your thoughtful words do, they bring comfort. You have all helped to fill that painful void that is now in my heart. The raw pain is easing just a bit now thanks to you. You are a blessing that I am so aware of.

I may have lost a best friend, my one click away friend who was always there, but I am very blessed to have such a large group of also one click away friends. 

Thanks you for your caring and wonderful help at this time.  I am truly blessed and grateful.