THE CLAPPER

Every year to herald the start of the Christmas shopping season ( I know, way to early to bring that up but---), two TV commercials resurface to let us know time's a wasting.

The Chia Pet sprouts its green hair to entice us to spend and sing carols and if that doesn't work, the Clapper is sure to jar us into action.

The Clapper as most of us know is a device that allows us to turn lights or TVs on and off in our homes with just the clap of our hands. Clever though it is, I have neither given nor owned one and in fact am often both amused and annoyed by the commercials.

Strangely, as of late,  I am now a functioning Clapper but instead of turning on lights, my clapping is all I have left to call my dog. Poor ole Mighty Dog has become the object of my hand smacking. 

For about a year now I suspected he was developing selective hearing.  He would not come in from outside when called unless it was close to feeding time. I would have to get in his face to get his attention.  Finally I realized he was not really going all "male" on me and just ignoring me.  He really was  rapidly losing his hearing.

Somewhere around 62 and retirement, I lost my whistle. Maybe it was my elderly lip muscles that could no longer hold a pucker, but from then on, when ever I tried to do my best Lauren Bacall,  "just put your lips together and... blow ", I just pretty much  hissed air and scatter a little spit.  I had discovered whisper whistling. First the eyes and now my whistle. Ah how cruel age is.  

Even while in my whistling prime I could never make a taxi lock its brakes nor get an athlete's  attention in center field,  but I did have a decent enough  whistle and could tweet out a lively tune.   Sigh , whistling is  now just a memory.


So how to you call a hard of hearing dog when you can't whistle?  Why clap your hands smartly of course.  I discovered this by accident and it works like a charm.  A clap is evidently still in his sound range. 

I used to laugh at the old lady in the commercial and marveled at how smartly her clap would ring out. Now I realize really loud clapping may be an age thing. Maybe it is our bony, cushionless hands but what ever it is, it is all ours.

I clap so loudly anymore for Mighty that I am sure the lights go off and on in my neighbor's homes.  My whistle may be gone but my clap is like a rifle shot. Who knew??

Perhaps it is like when one sense goes the rest sharpen. Regardless, I have developed into one heck of a clapper and for now, Mighty responds immediately. Two claps and all is good.

I know some of you are still babies but for the rest I have a question. Has creeping age replaced a lost ability of yours with a surprising new one?