Monday, March 11, 2013

JUSTICE FOR THE DIM OF WIT



I had nothing for today to post, then I drove the 20 miles to a near by town on some errands.  I walked into the propane office to pay my bill and found the staff in hysterics, almost rolling on the floor laughing. I made them start from the beginning. 

It seems that the past weekend had been big doings in town. The small town is a tourist town that caters to country musicians.  This past weekend was a Bluegrass Festival that draws countless folks from nearby states.  

Hundreds of musicians bring their instruments, gather in groups and perform for the crowds.  Any space available on the courthouse square and "picking park" is occupied by some group entertaining for free.



Lady Justice compliments of Wikipedia
 But along with the festivities on Friday, Lady Justice had a job to do. There was a trial going on in the courthouse at the same time.  The gentleman on trial had 12 counts of fraud leveled at him.  His MO was to pull in front of senior drivers and slam on the breaks causing an accident. 

Now a lot of seniors are borderline having to give up their keys so they dread an accident report. It could be the straw that costs them their driving freedom.  The fellow would talk them out of several thousand dollars in order not to file a claim.  He was not a very nice fellow and it seems, not terribly bright.

The trial had reached the deliberation stage and the jury was secured while reaching a decision.  The prisoner  waited in handcuffs. 

What caused his next action, my story tellers didn't know for certain but he suddenly decided to dive head first out the second story window. Interestingly, the windows were double hung and for some reason, he dove out the top part of the window. That had to take body control. What was he thinking?

Now it could have really been a damaging fall going head first and in handcuffs but he landed just one story down onto  the roof of the courthouse restrooms.  Can you imagine if you had been sitting on the toilet at the time?  Would have scared it right out of you. 

Pretty sure it also loosened the bowels and bladders of the musicians  playing in the immediate area as this fellow flew out the window.

He was knocked a bit goofy by the fall, had a cut head but was quickly apprehended, patched up and secured once again while awaiting the verdict.

The jury returned and while I am sure they wondered about the newly bandaged defendant, they found him guilty on all 12 counts. Don't know what they will do about the attempted escape charge. 

In Arkansas we are constantly mortified to find our selves either at the top or bottom of some surveys regarding wealth, education, health and actual waist  size, usually in an unflattering manner. Very often we are either 49th or 2nd depending on which is worse. 

It is a standing joke that if it weren't for Mississippi, we would take all the negative titles. So we always say, 'thank God for Mississippi' and I am sure Mississippi says the same thing about Arkansas those times we take the honors outright. Hey, someone has to be last.  

So when I was relating this story to a friend who was bemoaning how this guy's   not too bright behavior would look for us, I said, "Well maybe he moved here from Mississippi."

Does your state or area have a reputation that you could do without??

43 comments :

fishducky said...

I'm from CA where they say the nuts pick the fruits & vice versa!

The Odd Essay said...

Loved that story! I'm from Ohio... only about 30 miles from WV. In our area, it's the West Virginians that get ragged on.... LOTS of jokes about ... well everything from intelligence (or lack of) to really redneck episodes. Guess we forget sometimes that 30 miles just isn't that far away....

Olga said...

I can't imagine what he could have thought to accomplish by a header out a second story window. Good comeback on your part.

Angie said...

Great story ...bet you are glad you went out to do erands ...or 'messages' as they are called up here not sure why. Not sure what reputation we here in Fife have but I think there are two extremes ...either it is full of scroungers who are fond of the drink or full of wealthy retired folk who think themselves better than they are??? I dont fit into either but then I'm a foreigner from England. lol xx

Kathleen McCoy said...

Loved your parting comment, Patti! Of course, Arizona is still very wild west in many ways and is known as a blazing red state. Those of us who aren't gun-toting or Republican keep a fairly low profile.

Manzanita said...

Patti
He must have been a "dingee" from somewhere to dive out of a window with handcuffs.
I've noticed on TV shows that a pothead relative comes to visit from Montana. He lives in his camper above his pick-up and they can't get rid of him. That is close to the image of Montana. Ha

Linda Wildenstein said...

yep, usually we are 47th or third and thank goodness for Arkansas and Mississippi are voiced often around here.....really. Oma Linda

turquoisemoon said...

hahaha...Kansas??? I've heard all the tornado and oz jokes I wanna hear.

islandwonder said...

Oh how I wish I could remember my brother's stories when he worked security at the mall. I remember laughing but not the details. We tend to blame W. Va. for any "incidents" in our state. Good story!

DJan said...

That was a whole lotta fun to read about. You know, I have a much better idea of Arkansas because YOU live there! :-)

MerCyn said...

I now live in New Jersey. Need I say more? Sometimes I am embarrassed to tell people where I live. We're squished between New York and Philly, known for terrible traffic on I-95, much of it lined with huge, ugly manufacturing buildings, and the smell is awful. But we have Gov. Chris Christie. But we live in a corner of the state - the south shore - that is truly a gem..

Linda said...

I love my adopted state of Oregon & can''t think of anything bad about it. Our vet says "when God retires it will be to Oregon.

My native state, Texas, is another matter. How long a list do you want?

Betsy Adams said...

HA HA ---the world's dummmmmmest criminal... Duh!!!!! I'll bet he moved there from TENNESSEE... We're down at the bottom of that list also.

Hugs,
Betsy

kenju said...

My home state does. West Virginia is the red-headed step-child of all the states. So many people think we are part of Virginia, and Va. wants no part of us...lol We have a reputation for in-breeding and being toothless, but I can assure you I have seen many examples of that is other states. There are even red necks in NYC!

LL Cool Joe said...

Well I don't live in a State, I live in a tiny village in England, and really it is too small to have any kind of reputation at all. But I also have a house in Arizona, and have no idea if that has one either. I'll have to read your comments to find out!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This is one of the more bizarre stories of all time. Just what was that guy thinking??? LOL! i have no idea where California falls in this department---we probably have our share of impossibly stupid people....It's such a HUGE State---we have to run the gamut(?)...!

troutbirder said...

Well we do not have a ferocious or beautifu animal for our state symbol being the "gopher" state. And speaking of the downtrodden the weather channel website has been running listing of late (I don't know why) of things like the happiest or the most depressed tend states. Guess which 2 got the prize for most depressed. Oh I'm sorry didn't mean to depress you....:(

LC said...

Well, you've already covered my state, Mississippi!

Introverted Art said...

hahahaha this is an amazingly funny story and I love hearing them. I have a co-worker who was in grand jury duty and some of the cases were so dumb, they might as well have sent their photos to the police.

Arkansas Patti said...

fishducky,
That's good, I hadn't heard that one.

The Odd Essay,
I was born in Ohio and I kind of remember those references. Had to laugh at your proximity realization. Priceless!!

Olga,
That is the part I can't get at all. Escape, suicide, or just dumb??

Angie,
Lucky you. Interesting choices. I guess you could call me a foreigner also since I am from Florida but have adopted Arkansas.

Kathleen,
Ha,I guess we all have crosses to bear. Had forgotten about that image of Arizona. Under the radar is smart.

Manzi,
Ha ha, now that you mention it, I have seen that reference.

Linda,
Wow, third?? That is funny. How wonderful for you and so glad we are doing our part to soften the blow. See, we are too useful.

turquoise moon,
Mercy, I hadn't thought about all of that. We do have our crosses to bear, huh.

Suz,
I don't think W.Va ranks badly on lists but it sure does take a beating. Comedians love it.

Djan,
I am a transplant but have come to love the state. The people are some of the kindest I have ever met. We just don't do well in polls:))

Mercyn,
Oh yes, I have smelled your state but I also have a cousin who lives in a lovely part of it. Your are the Garden State after all.

Linda,
Finally a state with no problems. Lucky you. Texas does have a reputation or two to live down.

Betsy,
Ha, welcome to the lower percentile. Not a very exclusive club I fear.

Kenju,
Ha, we have that toothless reputation also but now days it is from Meth abuse.

LL Cool Joe,
Check out Kathleen McCoy's comment. She lives in Arizona. Lucky you to live in a normal town in England.

Naomi,
Your state is so big that each section might have categories it falls into. Florida was darn near that. North,Central and South had different personalities.

troutbirder,
Dang, that was a list I wasn't aware of. Good to know there were at least 8 others on the list. We do love company.

LC,
Ha ha. Well you can at least say, "thank God for Arkansas." We do help you out on most occasions.

Ana,
I would love to hear some of those stories. I marvel at the criminal geniuses? out there.

Al said...

That is a classic story - I guess he knew what the verdict would be. My town has a reputation for being extremely conservative, to the point of being unwelcoming. Which isn't good since we thrive on tourism!

Linda Reeder said...

I live in "the other Washington" on the "left coast" where "It rains all the time".
Of course, in truth, Washington is divided by a mountain range so we have a wet side and a dry side, rain forests and deserts, a blue side and a red side.

Cheryl @ TFD said...

I had to LOL at the dumb criminal! Too funny!! I do know that many people think that those of us who live in MO are a bunch of hicks. Or maybe it's rednecks. I even remember a young college girl from NY who was amazed that our grocery stores sold Haagen Dazs ice cream or any other brand for that matter, I think. I have to laugh, because while we certainly have our share of rednecks, so do all the other states I've ever been in.
One thing I'm not too proud of is that there seems to be a lot of meth labs here. I don't know how we compare to other states on that issue.

Muffy's Marks said...

Funny story. Oh us Wisconsinites are beer guzzling cheese heads!!!

Barry said...

I sat briefly on a jury for an OUI case. Very briefly. After being seated, we were given initial instructions by the judge. Everyone was present, including the defendant. We then broke for lunch and were to return to hear opening arguments. When we returned, the defendant was not seated in the courtroom. The judge then told us that he had been allowed to use the restroom, (he wasn't officially in custody), and fled the courthouse. Apparently he took one look at his jury and decided fleeing was a better option. We were dismissed (thankfully) and I never heard what happened to him.

Oh, and we her in MA are sometimes referred to as MASSHOLES. I can't figure out why. ;)

Sandra said...

love the story.. Florida has all kinds of reputations, especailly around election time. but i can't think of any like this, i don't read the paper so they may be out there and i don't know... we do have idiots here just like the one who dove out the window. when i was in my early 30's which is many moons ago, my dad, who was pastor of our church, and one of the deacons, were driving behind me after church. a man was standing on the side of the road watching the cars carefully, he looked supicious so i put my foot on the brake, he was looking for a single female. as i got close he through himself against the side of my car, and when i got out he was screaming about me hitting him and suing, he had no idea i had two witness behind me that saw him jump on my car.... he was doing this and getting people to pay him to not sue.

robin andrea said...

Such a funny story, Patti!

Arkansas Patti said...

Al,
Welcome to TNS.
That would be kind of biting the hand that feeds you.
I lived in a Florida tourist town the was less than enthusiastic about our visitors also. I always enjoyed them.

Linda Reeder,
I didn't know Washington was so sharply divided, even politically. Interesting.

Cheryl,
Isn't it odd how we seem to have preconceived opinions about an whole state full of people. That is why I enjoyed Gary's book so much. He took the people as individuals.

Muffy,
Ha, ha, I just tend to think "cold winters."

Barry,
You know,entirely possible he might have moved to Arkansas and just had an unfortunate week end:)) That was funny.

Sandra,
I lived in Florida during the "hanging chad" era. Hard to live down.
What a creep. Lucky you to have had witnesses.

robin,
Thanks robin, I enjoyed hearing about it.

Nora at Island Rambles said...

well you had nothing to blog about until you went to town!!, loved the whole story and sometimes we have nothing to blog about until we get out and about!!You are a great story teller. cheers.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Hah! It's exactly the same way here in Utah but in a different way. We are usually pretty high up in quality of life lists and the such, but every time we make the news it's because of something crazy someone has done, a polygamist or religious fanatic, etc. I always grown when I see UT on the national news because it's usually negative...

Carver said...

What a great story. You painted the scenes and personalities so well.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

We Kentuckians get made fun of ALL the time...in pop culture and everything! Sad in a way but then again we sometimes bring it on ourselves :)

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

That's a nice story. Here in Oklahoma we are also thankful to Mississippi for not being the worst in the nation. I always thought Arkansas was cool though.

Linda Starr said...

What a hoot jumping out of a two story window, you well know about the crackers of this state I am sure. Ha. and then there are the yankees too.

Arkansas Patti said...

Nora,
Thanks for stopping by TNS and for the lovely compliment. You are right. Finding story ideas are a bit like finding romance. They seldom just come to your door.

RMW,
Your state usually is named the best on the very lists where we grace the worst position. Guess even Achilles had his heal.

Carver,
Thank you so much. So glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your stopping by and commenting.

Keith,
Ha, think you are right. Most states with a stereotype image have some basis for the image. Usually though it is a little splash that paints the whole state.

Yogi,
Welcome. Thanks for your vote of confidence but we pretty much have earned our position. Maybe we grateful states should send Mississippi a present for their grace.

Linda Starr,
And never the twain shall meet. Never an outright war between the two but lots of grumbling. Each side has its list of jokes about the other. Also Florida does have the "hanging chad." Floridians are my people, I am the step child here in Arkansas.

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

Oh Patti, you crack me up! I'm gonna say thank goodness they caught that crazy fool and I hope he gets what he deserves.

I love Arkansas, but I do think we get to be the butt end of a joke too many times.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

OH my what an idiot. I wonder just how the fool thought he would get away by jumping out the window.
We blame everything here on our neighboring state of Louisianna. haha
Here in Texas they tack on 15 years for attempting escape. He won't be rearended by seniors anymore but maybe by some young bucks.
Love ya
Maggie

Ginnie said...

I love my state of North Carolina but am sorry that the Republicans took over this last election !! Now we will be right back where we were 30 years ago ... big money & the little guy be damned.

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

"The New Sixty" has been included in the A Sunday Drive for this week. Be assured that I hope this helps to point even more new visitors in your direction.

http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-sunday-drive_17.html

Kay said...

Patti, you write the MOST wonderful posts!!! Love this. Sorry, but I thought it was hilarious. For one thing, that scammer should be charged also for the cost of the broken window. What a nasty goofball. I think Hawaii is known for having one of the worst traffic and drivers. Hmmm... could they be tied together.

Jewels said...

Hahaha! You have to wonder what went through his mind before he jumped. Thankful we have Mississippi to fall back on. : )

Arkansas Patti said...

Terri,
You are right. Late night comedians love us.

Maggie,
Now that rear ending remark just cracked me up. That would be perfect justice.

Ginnie,
So sorry. The same thing is happening in Florida and now here. How can that be when we outnumber them??

Jerry,
Thank you so much for the link on your blog. Very much appreciated.

Kay,
Thank you. Last I looked, there was still plywood over the broken window.
Bad traffic is no fun.

Jewels,
Ha, it wasn't a smart thought for sure. Gotta love Mississippi.

HansHB said...

Great post for the theme!