Monday, January 17, 2022

MYSTERY SOLVED

Had another post today that I am delighted not to be posting.  I had recieved a notice from a long time blog buddy who was the second to comment on my blog 12 years ago and we have hung out over the blog fence to chat since I published my first posts.  

There in my blog list was a post declaring she had passed. It was an actual obituary but the dates hadn't been filled in and it had been written in the year 2020.

I suspected that she had written it herself with instructions to either her husband or daughter to fill in the blanks and publish. But there it was.  I was really stunned. We had never met except through blogville but you can get attached to someone that way. It was kind of a gut punch.

I remember years ago losing my first blogger "Old Horsetail Snake." I was shocked then how much it affected me.  Then I was really upset when "Fishducky" passed.  It always worries me when a blogger just disappears. I hope they just got burned out from the writing but in the back of my mind, I think they might have just passed.  That is why, even when I just take a break from blogging, I post about it so no one will think I am heading for the Rainbow Bridge. 

Anyway the obit in my reading list really upset me so I emailed a mutual blog buddy to see if she had heard anything definite. She told me that she had just seen a Facebook posting from her that post dated the Obit. Now I am feeling better. 

Then she contacted the still warm blog buddy to let her know the errant obit had published.  I got reassurances from both of them that all was well. Phew. It was just an accidental posting.  She has since published another post so any who got the false obit, will know she is fine. 

I have thought of having a friend let you know if I don't wake up some day but the friend I had picked out is having her own issues right now.  So all I can say is that if I no longer post, I am probably gone for if I am just taking a break, I'll let you know.

Have you made any provisions if you go beyond the pale to inform the blog community?  

53 comments :

  1. I have every intention of doing so, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Hubby has my passwords and if necessary, he could post something. I fully intend to, but we don't know the date of our passing, usually. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Djan,
      We have insurance even when we don't know if we will ever need it. That is the way I look at this and I am thinking how I can get my insurance activated? Just thinking about it for now.

      Delete
  2. I have a file, "When I'm Dead" with instruction in it. Not that I'm planning on needing it soon, but there has been a number of deaths and/or serious illness among my age peer circle in the past couple of years.

    It is interesting how attached you can get through blogs. I still wonder about some of the early contacts that have disappeared over the years.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Olga,
      I know. I just hope they got bored or burned out with blogging or maybe put all their energies into Facebook. When you talk to someone almost daily, a bond forms and you want them to be all right.

      Delete
  3. I love my blogger friends, you are all so very real to me. And I've learned over the years how much you care and we care about each other. I still remember your comment when I had to post about fishducky's passing. I have no one to really ask to let you know, but I will do the same thing post that if I take a break I will let you know. If not and I'm gone for a long time, I'm most likely gone or in such bad shape that there will be no more blogs. I will soon post about my latest medical news, maybe a good place to insert that. And FYI, I'm on the fence for COPD, may need some reassurance there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Inger,
      I was so glad you told us about Fran even though the news was so very sad. She was really special and I still think about her, especially when I see a cute cartoon.
      Hope you do let us know if you want a break. We all do need them from time to time and it is helpful when your followers know you are all right, just not in the mood to blog.

      Delete
  4. I have a document, that I originally called "if I were to die today", now entitled Personal information. It has all of the instructions including the blog address and password so that readers will be made aware of my removal from this planet.

    I agree, it is always worrisome when someone simply stops blogging and it's always nice to see a post stating they are taking a break, especially when they do return. I've seen those posts where the break is announced and nothing else comes up.

    And Olga is right, we do get attached to people through ours blogs.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Eileen,
      I know. I appreciate a break notice but like you get a bit concerned if it takes too long. Always good to see that fresh post.

      Delete
  5. I actually never thought of this. But, now I will. Hmmm, kinda a spooky thought tho.
    I will hope you will continue to write 'blog break' ALL the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anni,
      Yeah, I know. Not what one wants to think about. If I get to the point when I just don't want to blog anymore, I will publish just such a post, saying I am fine but done with blogging. Can't imagine that happening but who knows?

      Delete
  6. I'm so relieved that sad mystery was solved in a good way and our fellow much-loved blogging friend is still with us. We have lost so many of our virtual friends here in blog-land. I tell my siblings often how much I have come to know and love my fellow bloggers. We are each other's long-time penpals and stay in touch in the most heartwarming and open-hearted ways. I may have to write a final post that either Roger or someone will have to post for me. That's such a good idea. Take care there, Patti. We're all in this together, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. robin,
      Ah my dear friend, you were the one who solved the mystery and I am so thankful you did. We are in each other's lives so often and know so much about each other, it would be difficult not to care. So glad you are in mine.

      Delete
  7. I have thought about this many times but haven't done anything about it. I'm glad the untimely obituary was sorted.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Fun60,
      Me too. Think I need to work on that especially after what happened. Thanks, it was a puzzler for a while.

      Delete
  8. I am glad your friend is still alive. Quite a scare to read that obituary. I really should train David to post news of my passing on my blog. Good advice!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. gigi,
      Me too. Sometimes a scare like that makes you realize how much you appreciate someone. Good you have David for a back up.

      Delete
  9. That was scary. I've left instructions in my "after I'm gone" notes for my kids. I don't post much lately though.

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    1. Celia,
      I hope you do. While your posts may have fallen off a bit--we all go through that--you still comment so that way we know you are all right.

      Delete
  10. Old Horsetail Snake aka Gene was a friend of mine too. I met him twice in person and he was amazingly intelligent and funny. I worry (and am hurt) when bloggers quit without a word. We get attached to them and value the relationship, then pouf, they disappear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Margaret,
      Wasn't Gene a delight? He was the first I lost and I was surprised how hard it hit me. I obviously still think of him.

      Delete
  11. I guess it would be a good idea to have a file with the information available if something would happen. Notifying other bloggers probably wouldn't be on the family's mind during such a time. And I too have missed 2 of my blogger buddies that have passed... and others I've wondered about as they just stopped blogging.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rian,
      You are so right about family members even thinking about bloggers. I have only one member that even occasionally reads my blogs and most bloggers say the same.

      Delete
  12. My DIL has promised to post on my blog if anything happens to me. She would have posted if I was unable to during this whole cancer battle, but so far I have managed--just barely sometimes, but I have posted on Mondays.

    I talked about it with her for the same reasons you bring up--people who just suddenly disappear! And--yes--it effects you more than you even think it would for sure. I've had the same thing happen a couple of times with pen pals, too. So people will know and I won't just suddenly disappear forever. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rita,
      I am so happy that your DIL will assume the necessary duties if something happens to you. That is so thoughtful of her. Most family members don't realize how important our readers are to us.

      Delete
  13. I have lost several blog friends and it is upsetting. Most often they just go away without any confirmation they passed. Sad to now hear about Fishducky, I had assumed the worst but had not any confirmation. I think when she lost Bud it was too much for her, but I was hoping she just lost interest in posting. I have not heard from the wonderful Lo for years, she was close to 90 but what a spitfire, damn I miss her and then Rick from Alabama who passed almost overnight from Covid, a wonderful guy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. joeh,
      So sorry you are just hearing about Fran. Like you, I think she started sliding after Bud passed. I would have never known but Inger posted a wonderful tribute to her.
      We do get attached don't we and it hurts.

      Delete
  14. I have thought about this but have not acted. I think I'll copy Olga with a "When I'm Dead" file. I need a project for when the rain comes back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda,
      Love the title of that file. That does sound like a rainy day activity.

      Delete
  15. Fishducky passed???
    I did not know. I knew she had quit blogging and that made me sad, but if other blog friends of mine knew, why didn't they tell me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River,
      They would have had to have known that you also followed her. I found out via a wonderful tribute Inger posted in Dec 2020. She knew Fran personally.

      Delete
  16. I think we know some of our blog buddies better than we do our real-time friends because we tend to spill our guts more freely in posts. I'm glad this was a false alarm.

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    Replies
    1. Jean,
      Isn't that the truth. Warts and all we spill. I think the quote I have posted on my sidebar describes bloggers so well. "Things I would not tell anyone, I tell the public." ~ Michel de Montaigne.

      Delete
  17. My goodness that had to be a bit scary and emotional. I know there is a place on facebook where you can state now what you want done should you pass. I wish they had that for the blog. A woman who I adored stopped posting. She sent me some lovely art pieces she made. Then I bought some things she made. Then she was gone. I wrote an email and asked if she was well. I heard nothing. Her blog is still up but she hasn't posted in a few years. I think she may have passed. She was struggling with her health and she was only 50. I wish she had her husband or someone let us know she's okay or not.I think of her often as silly as that may sound. I"m glad your friend is well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peg,
      Thank you, me too. I am so sorry you haven't found out for sure about your friend. She certainly was too young. Usually if a blogger is sick the last thing their family will think about is the blog audience. Often we don't know their last names nor anymore that a general living area. Blog anonymity is a blessing and a curse. Hope you find out and she is well.

      Delete
  18. You know those half-sized little Hallmark spiral notebooks for filling in passwords instead of addresses. Yep, my son gets it to notify peeps. He's on all my bank stuff anyway. Simple trust and will made out years ago to flex whenever needed. Trust is good to lay out Plan B, C, D....in case son became an evil drug addict or something. Not much money any way. There's a couple of prep books: "I'm Dead: Now What?" and "Good to Go" meaning ready to exit when it's time. Linda in Kansas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda,
      Well you certainly are prepared and I would expect nothing less than a professional approach from you. I might borrow "I'm Dead:Now What?"

      Delete
  19. I have lost so many blog friends and each death broke me as if they were my family. It is a thought I have had to see who might post my obituary but my actual family doesn't follow my blog. Guess I better check with my son or daughter.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Annie,
      It seems common that most blogger's families do not read their blogs. Good idea to check with your children.
      I have a sister who does, or use to. Guess I'd better line her up.

      Delete
  20. I have not made any provisions to alert my readers that I'm gone. But, if I take a blog break, like you I do mention that I'll be gone for awhile. I have had people contact me by e-mail when I don't post. It's comforting to know they think of me. Then, I feel a little guilty about being so lax!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barb,
      Yes you do and I appreciate it. I see you have been busy reading past posts. Thank you so much. I always enjoy seeing your comments.

      Delete
  21. I left a comment a while ago and you'd think I'd learn not to comment with my ipad. For some reason, comments disappear when I use my ipad.

    Anyway... yes, I've told my daughter what to do if anything happens to me. I'd hate for people to keep wondering.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kay,
      You are thoughtful and let us know when you are taking a break and even enjoyed your pop in to let us know all is still well. Thank you.
      Good to know you all ready have your daughter one back up. Too often family members are unaware how much we care about our blog buddies. Stay safe.

      Delete
  22. By the way, Patti, you do know that you can already order test kits, right? https://www.covidtests.gov/
    They opened it up early to test it. Might be easier to do it now than tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kay,
      Thanks. I saw that on the news and was also pleased that they will be setting up a phone number soon for those without computers.

      Delete
  23. I've had the same thoughts Patti. I think that you and I started about the same time ... 2006?? I've actually met about 7 blogger friends in person and one (who does not continue her blog now) has become a friend that emails at least once a week and I spent a weekend at her house about 6 years ago.
    Like one of your other bloggers said ... I have told my family to be sure and post it on my blog after I'm gone. I am donating my body to science as my late husband did and I want it known because I believe strongly that it helps in the knowledge of new medical things and, as one of the Docs that I worked with says "it makes all the difference in how a Dr. performs if he has worked on an actual body as compared to one who was taught with dummies, like the one used to train CPR.)
    I didn't mean to write so much but, once again, I never miss your blogs and thanks for coming to mine.

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    Replies
    1. Ginnie,
      Close enough. I started in 2008. It was the only New Years Resolution I ever kept. I have only met one of my blog buddies. Met is a weak word for it is more of a reunion as we know so much about eachother.
      I am delighted you have made blog arrangements and support your donation very much.

      Delete
  24. No, I haven't made provisions. But your post has alerted me that if I am taking a break, I need to follow your example. I have not been consistent about posting, but there are blogging friends who have made an impact on my life, especially their encouragement after my hemorrhagic stroke in 2011. You and the other blogger friends continue to enrich my life.

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    1. LC,
      I don't usually worry too much when you don't blog as you tend to not be locked into dates. But I love that you will start posting break warnings. Thank you.

      Delete
  25. Because of the new blogger dashboard, it is harder to keep "future" posts from publishing too soon. Used to be - you could check them easily, without fear of publishing early. Sorry about that.

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    1. Judy,
      I was just so delighted and relieved that robin found you and I learned you are fine. It was really a gut punch when I first saw it. You would be soooo missed. You and Jim keep staying safe and well.

      Delete
  26. Patti, up until last summer, I kept a blog-post in my own blog account that was dated ONE WEEK in the future. It began with "If you can read this blog... something has happened to me. I'm either missing or worse." Every Friday I changed the date on it to next week, so it was never published--but would in a week if I didn't stop it. Anyway, I finally got rid of it last summer, what if I won a trip to Rome or something and forgot to reset that blog-date before I left? I figure once I'm really gone, people will catch on soon enough.

    Patti I also wanted to thank you for both of your very kind messages on my own blog this week. I normally like to respond to every comment individually, but this damn covid had me too wiped out. But your comments.. you have a real way with words. You're a very thoughtful friend. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Doug,
      You won't believe it but I had that exact same idea. I figured each week I'd send that post into the future. But then, like you, I thought, what if I forgot or just got busy(I never had the imagination to think of going to Rome:) and it got published. Yikes.
      I was so sorry to hear what you have been through and just hope you are well on the way to being totally well. There were a lot of people out there worried about you and even posting about it. We are all happy you are back. Be 100% soon my friend. You are needed in this blog world and our world.

      Delete
  27. I haven't written my obit but I have told my children I'd like them to note my passing on my blog so anyone interested will know what has happened to me.

    ReplyDelete

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