Thursday, April 21, 2011

REALIZING YOU MIGHT TALK TOO MUCH




The other day I was pleasantly surprised by a phone call from my cousin Jean who lives in  Staten Island, NY.   Now I don't have a large blood relative pool. Each of my parents had one sibling who in turn had only one child. Obviously we weren't  known for our  breeding skills.

Thus, I only have two cousins. Jean whom I have seen maybe 8 times in my life and Gale on my father's side that I have only seen twice.   I have to admit, that is pretty pitiful. We have just never lived anywhere close to one another.

Now Jean and I exchange the annual Christmas news letters and that about covered our communication till the next year. Jean is 12 years older than I and has been widowed for some time.   

For some unknown reason, neither of us sent the annual letters this past Christmas. I kept thinking I would and it just never happened. Since Jean much prefers talking to writing , she decided to call to see if I were still on the planet or should be mourned. 

What a delight it was to hear from her and to get caught up with her family. Jean is just a lovely person.  She was my role model when I was a kid and someone I wanted so much  to be like when I grew up.  She was pretty, funny, confident,  a nurse and had married a handsome, adoring man. One of those women who had it all.

For some unknown reason, since I was a child, she always insisted that I looked like Liz Taylor. The only thing LT and I had in common was dark, thick eyebrows.   In fact when I was younger, my brows almost formed  a uni-brow which I thought was so gross.  For some reason, my mom wouldn't let me pluck.

Below is a picture of Jean and yours truly in Key West during one of our 8 visits. I was in my late 20's and she was 40. Jean on the left and me on the right with big hair and a blissfully thin body. We definitely had the same cheek bone structure and short stature.


The next time we met, I was 40 and she was 52. She and her husband had come to stay with me for a few days in Florida when I had my animal shelter. Jean loves animals and she really enjoyed the group in my care.

I had a video camera then, one of those huge ones that rested on your shoulder  so I made a tape for them to take with them of their meeting of all the animals. As we watched the tape later, all Jean could say was, “Do I really talk that much?”

Her husband just grinned broadly and said nothing. Something I am sure he was use to doing. The tape was  a running commentary of Jean's voice. Now it is not that she was boring, she just talked non-stop and it was caught on tape. Pretty sure it was the first time she actually heard herself.  

I had forgotten about that trait that till the phone call. Jean would ask questions about me or my brother and almost before I could finish a few quick sentences, she would be relating a fun memory of the three of us. About an hour into the conversation, the phone line went “click, click” and died.

She had mentioned having phone troubles so I assumed it was on her end. I did not try to call her and waited for her to call back if it were possible on her end. After 10 minutes, I figured her service must be totally down and I prepared to go outside when the phone rang. It was Jean again.

Seems she had continued talking almost the whole ten minutes the line was dead.  She didn't even notice I wasn't there. That makes one feel "special".  She is one of those talkers with great breath control so often there is not even a pause so that one could grunt "uh huh."

I should say here that professional, breath control talkers don't really bother me for I all ready know all about myself and I like learning about others. Who knows when a story idea will come from such a conversation? Like now. 

We both laughed a lot over Jean's conversation with dead air.  She then suggested that during the rest of our talk, if I would periodically just say “beep, beep,” then she would know we were still connected. See, all she needed from me was a few "beeps".  My job was easy.  


We  no sooner hung up when the phone rang again. I fluffed up my ear and prepared my self for another session thinking Jean had forgotten something.
We,  She talked a total of 2.5 hours, pretty sure 8 minutes of that time I actually had the floor. My ear felt glued flat to my head.  I probably should have gone to speaker function. 

However it was my brother checking to see if I had blown away in the recent tornadoes. He said he had been trying to call me but kept getting a busy signal all morning and was about to give up. He was convinced no one talks that long and that it had to be mechanical problems or storm damage.

Jim and I talked for about 30 minutes and my ear stuck to my head again. However this time it was a give an take conversation. Aahhh. Good thing also for I was beginning to think that maybe the reason I blog is just to finally have total control of a conversation.  Ya think?

Do you have a talker like that in your life, or is it maybe you?

58 comments :

  1. Well, your post made me laugh---yes, I know a couple of folks who talk too darn much. I cringe when I see them on the caller ID. Maybe it's me or maybe it's a man-thingy, but I cannot imagine a phone convo that needs to last more than a max of 15 minutes. Most of mine are 2 mins or much less. What is difficult is finding a polite way to get off the phone with a "talker". I only use cell phones these days, so I do have a good excuse in my battery life. Great post!

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  2. "Talking to dead air..." So funny! One of my sisters is a talker, and asks questions A LOT. However, you never get to answer them because she interrupts you with another comment. Hubs knows she's on the other end of the line when he hears me say, "La, STOP talking for just a minute so I can say something." Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't! :)

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  3. I used to have a friend like that but in the end the friendship died because I think she considered me too boring... I would not be able to be as kind as you as I consider that behaviour extremely selfish. BTW I think you may have a larger blood relative pool than me.

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  4. Hm...maybe bloggers do like to have control of the conversation, but blogging wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun if it didn't have the "comments" feature so others can be part of the conversation. I've definitely known some non-stop talkers, but I think two-way conversations are best.

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  5. I have a friend like that. She is notorious for non-stop talking. It's not a problem most of the time, but if you are in a car with her for any length of time, it can become unbearable. I think it's an illness, to tell you the truth. She just can't seem to stop talking. Her husband says nothing, but then again, how could he?

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  6. If you pole both my adoptive and biological kinsman,as well as friends, the vote unfortunately would be 100% ME!

    My DAD said my Mother picked me from 7 babies available at the maternity home, because I was awake and babbling. He added I had never stopped....babbling to his dying day.

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  7. Hey...I can see the resemblance to LT. WOW! You were a knockout!!!

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  8. I am the talker...not sure I liked this post..LOL!!!

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  9. Funny. As to me I'm the listener when my spouse is present.... otherwise to friends I forget to shut up. :)

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  10. I have a SIL who talks pretty much non-stop. She even talks to herself! What is annoying to my hubby is that when he's talking on the phone to his brother, he can hear her in the background chattering away as if she's part of the conversation. My daughter likes to talk but will stop and listen. She loves to dot every I and cross every T, very detailed and you sometimes get more info than needed! I've been known to ask her to give me the Reader's Digest Condensed version. :D Your picture looks great!

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  11. Oh, how much I love coming to read your posts. This one made me laugh almost as hard as the one where you thought you killed your dog.

    Oh, yes I know someone that talks like that, as a matter of fact I know 2 who talk non stop.

    Glad your brother was able to finally connect with you and know that you are safe. I am thankful you are safe too, we have had some weird weather here haven't we?

    I loved this story, thanks for sharing and I hope your ear is back to normal now.

    Hugs

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  12. My youngest daughter is a talker. She just starts talking and I have to ask her who's she talking to. Sometimes I think she's on the phone, until she tells me she's talking to me. By then I've missed half her conversation!
    Great post!

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  13. I have two people like that in my life - my sister and my daughter. They always call on my cell phone so I put in an ear piece, put the phone in my pocket, and continue with what I was doing while they talk. Works for me! blessings, marlene

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  14. It cetainly isn't me--I hate talking on the phone for more than a few minutes.

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  15. I am not a phone person at all. Conversations on the phone that last more than ten minutes drive me crazy. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be on the phone for hours like that AND NOT TALK! Yikes.

    I love that photo, patti. Wow!

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  16. This is all very funny! One of my sisters is like that, but as long as the conversation is nice and interesting I can live with it.
    Your photo is great and you are both very goodlooking.

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  17. My niece just called...I told her stories after stories...She laughed the whole time but could not get a word in edge wise....I then told her to look at your blog...I'll bet she is thinking ...well I know what you mean!....Some of us just have more to say and it is all SOOOO important! Everyone should listen, after all it IS all about ME!

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  18. This is so much fun to read. Glad to know you survived the tornadoes, btw.

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  19. I fear I have more than one, and I so hear ya when ya say the other party doesn't know you've been disconnected!!!

    There is my sis, who daddy always said,"had diarrhea of the mouth." My Mom and Aunt...must run in the family...can talk none~stop for two, two and a half hours without skippin' a beat!

    My Granny Walden could talk like the wind and when she was finished...she just hung up. No byes or see ya laters.

    I so enjoyed and identified with your post. :o)

    God bless and have a fantastic day sweetie!

    Pop on over for my Happy Easter Giveaway if ya get a chance!

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  20. That well surely filled up fast. This post made me laugh. You definitely tell stories funny! And yes, 3 nonstop talkers among my loved ones: one of my husband's aunts, a neighbor and a 3-year-old granddaughter.

    The aunt has passed away, and I miss her stories. She was bighearted and non-stop in EVERYTHING until her final months.

    My neighbor is a wonderful neighbor, even with the non-stop tendencies. The granddaughter may be taking after her mother who loves to talk but appreciates two-way conversations. Or the nonstop talking may be the result of her fascination with new words, concepts and stories. Time will tell . . . and tell and tell!

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  21. It's definitely not me...but I have a niece that can talk and keep one entertained for hours.

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  22. Maybe you all need to practice breeding.

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  23. Love it, love it. Have met a few like your cousin. In fact when my sister was alive, her sister-in-law was a German Baptist woman, sometimes we ran into each other at the grocery. And yes, after being cooped up with four kids day in and day out, I did have a tendency to talk too much at times. Well she mentioned that to my sister, who in turn told me, and from then on, when ever I saw her, I would speak but I wouldn't say anymore, I thought if she wants to talk let her take it from there.

    Our one daughter use to get on the phone with one of her sisters and she would get to talking so fast, they couldn't get a word in, what they would do was lay the phone down, go do something and then go back and say huh-huh, and leave again. She never even knew they had left the phone laying. She was too busy talking.

    Have a wonderful Easter. by the way, the photo shows two very attractive women

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  24. Hi Patti!

    I love your story. I do know some talkers, but I don't think I know one that talks that much!

    Thanks so much for stopping by today and visiting ... twice at that. I have spent 8 hours on today's project, no fooling, and think I'll get off the computer for awhile.

    Take care,

    Kathy

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  25. Funny story Patti. I try to avoid phone conversations, especially long ones because I don't like to talk on the phone. Long-winded friends CAN be a problem.

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  26. Clint,
    I do believe that is a male thing and a pretty good one at that. Darn, I wish I used a cell. I have no reception here and have to use an land line. Thanks.

    Deb,
    That is exactly what Jean did:)) If we talked more often, perhaps I would try that.

    liZZie,
    Wow, to be a smaller pool, your parents must have been only children. Since Jean and I only talk about every 20 years, I didn't mind.

    Ellen,
    Me too on two way though you do realize, we only allow comments when we are quite through talking and then have the option to answer the comments:) That is control.

    Djan,
    You are right, they do seem to latch on to quiet men who are probably grateful to let them talk.

    Nitwit.
    That is too funny. You came into the world a talker. Guess it is genetic huh? Maybe there is a talking gene that only some people get.

    Turquoisemoon,
    Aww, thank you for thinking that. You and Jean are the only ones who think that I fear.

    none,
    Ha, ha, don't feel badly, from the looks of the comments, you are definitely not alone and you all seem to be much loved. Keep up the chatter.

    troutbirder,
    Aren't you nice to let your wife have the floor. Guess your friends know how to deal with you.

    Cheryl,
    Oh yes, Jean is a T crosser also. Like your idea of the RD condensed version. May borrow that. Thanks, it was long ago.

    Mumsy,
    Yes we have had some dilly weather. Do your 2 non stoppers ever get together? Would be interesting to see who wins.

    Tina,
    Oh how funny, she is a talker and you aren't listening. You must have interesting repeat conversations.Thanks.

    Stichinbythelake,
    Sure wish I had cell service here. That would work fine. Next time I will use the speaker function.

    Olga,
    Oh you and Clint would make good phone buddies. If it is not a family member, I am for brief also.

    robin,
    One habit I picked up years ago when cordless phones came in was to pace around the house when tied up for a long time. Wish I had a pedometer on when she called. Thanks.

    Reader Wil,
    Jean and I thank you Wil. I'm with you, as long as they are interesting, I don't mind long winded one sided conversations. Kind of like listening to an audio book.

    4th sister.
    That is what I like to see. A talk hogger that is proud. You go girl. Hey, you had her laughing, what is not to love.

    rosaria,
    Thank you. They went south of me but we have a lot of season left. Every part of the country has its problems.

    Nezzy,
    Thanks. I sometimes wonder if they had your attention indefinitely, would they eventually run out of things to say. Food for thought.

    LC
    So glad you enjoyed. Your aunt sounded like a very interesting person. It must be interesting to see a youngster with those talents. Nitwit said she came out of the womb just a babbling. Has to be in the genes.

    Wanda,
    You said the key word, entertained. I know lots of serious talkers who are facinating to listen to.

    Honest Abe,
    The next generation got it right thank goodness or we may have vanished.

    Patty,
    Thanks for the compliment.I just haven't the nerve to put the phone down and go away. It would be my luck she would be talking about a serious diagnosis. I have no luck.

    oregon gifts,
    Consider your self blessed not to know any.
    I stopped by twice cause I am playing catch up.

    Manzanita,
    When I worked I was more careful, now that I am retired,I figure I have the time if they have the need.

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  27. I have a close relative who shall remain nameless who is a constant talker. It does no good for me(or anyone else) to try to talk - she doesn't listen to anyone else. When you are done she continues where she left off...I also have a small famiy. We don't get together often but when we do we have a wonderful time.

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  28. During my teaching career I learned that there are folks who cannot process what they hear. Could it be that Jean just talks nonstop to avoid having to try to process? Funny she didn't even feel odd talking to air.
    Her hubby must have known her plight since he just nodded as she rambled on. These days there are programs to help those who fail to be able to listen so that they can have better relationships.
    Glad you found a good story in all this and I'm happy to learn you are safe. We still don't have green grass and snows in the forecast. Not great so late in April!

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  29. I'm a born talker, though I try for more give and take these days. However, once, when I was four years old, my father was trying to put me down for a nap and started a tape recorder running with the goal of recording his bedtime story and running it in an endless loop until I fell asleep. What happened was that I started telling him stories about everything and everyone, on and on, until the tape recorded soft snores in the background and my little child voice saying "Father! Father! Wake up! I want to tell you more stories!" My father gave me a copy of the tape for my 30th birthday. It was fun but also a lesson to listen more. When I became a psychotherapist, I was forced to be quiet and listen more and that helped a lot!

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  30. Great story! Yes, I know a few folks like that. My daughter-in-law is one of them. My son will say, "S just the Reader's Digest Condensed Version please."

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  31. Sorry to say I'm that person. I found this story quite amusing.

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  32. Oh, goodness! Your post cracked me up. I have a friend like your cousin. When she calls I put her on speaker and get all my household chores done. LOL

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  33. I'm glad for cellphones now - they're not as easy to hold to my ear for very long. I'd much rather converse in writing or in person.

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  34. Oh, yes, and it's me!! That dropped phone call where I keep on talking, totally oblivious to the other party being gone happens occasionally.

    You were a knockout!!

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  35. Oh Patti! This is hilarious! You are such a good and patient person. You listened for 2 and a half hours? You're also a saint... a loving saint. Wow! My daughter is one to talk quite a bit so my husband and I take turns. However, she wouldn't be able to talk that long. Wow! That's amazing!

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  36. I absolutely HATE to talk on the phone. My ex will call and talk for an hour while I try to get off. Then, not long ago he said to our youngest, "Have you ever noticed how hard it is to get off the phone with your mother?"

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  37. Sometimes I'm guilty of that and then other times of guilty of the opposite. Ha. great story. Gary listens a lot and he learns all kinds of things from folks, sometimes more than he wants to know.

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  38. Your post just made me smile. My friends and I mostly share the talking time, but I do have one friend who tends to talk a lot and more than that, she talks so fast! But I enjoy her stories, so it is OK. Great post once again.--Inger

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  39. KleinsteMotte
    Oh no, she not only wasn't concerned about talking to air, she thought it just as funny as I. Pretty sure it wasn't the first time.

    Dr. Kathy,
    Wow, you really sought a profession that denies your talent for talking and made you a thoughtful listener.
    Interesting Patti said tapping her tablet with the pen:))

    Retired English Teacher,
    I am just going to have to borrow that phrase. Seems to be a winner.

    Linda,
    You are not alone. Does that mean Bob is a listener?

    Lisa,
    That is going to be my new solution. Thanks. Great way to multitask.

    Linda Myers,
    I'm with you on the person to person chats. Then you get facial expressions also.

    kenju,
    What I love about you talker types is that you are aware and proud. You go girl. Thanks so much. Old grainy photos help.

    Kay,
    If I were still working and had a schedule, I might not be so accomodating but being retired, I have the time.

    marciamayo,
    You got me giggling about his comment. How funny.

    Linda Starr,
    Well you have seen both sides of the fence. Gary sounds like he stays on the listening side. Not a bad place to be and makes one popular with talker types.

    Canyon Girl,
    Oh those fast talkers leave no opening for you. If they are interesting, I gladly let them have the floor.

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  40. Patti... I got distracted when I wrote but I meant to tell you that you are one hot Babe!!! No wonder you have all those guys hanging around. Good for you. Way to go, girl. Waa Hoo.

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  41. Oh My...Indeed, I do have a talker like that in my life. A "gentleman" who finds himself the most interesting person he knows...lol! In fact, you could put the phone down, go get a glass of water or a bite to eat and come back ten minutes later and he would not know that you had been gone, At All!!!! He truly finds himself so fascinating that he never even bothers to ask, "How Are You"? Or, if he does, by that time, your ear hurts so much you just want to get off the phone.

    I always wonder if people like that ever realize that this is what they do. It isn't a conversation---it is a Monologue! And....I wish I could say I find him as interesting as he finds himself---But, after 45 minutes of "monologue" I really have had enough of his 'news of the week'....! Your post did make me laugh Patti---You have the most wonderful way of expressing yourself...You write in such a unique and interesting And FUN manner....Thank You My Dear---I always get my laugh of the day when I visit you....!

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  42. HAHAHAHAHA Patti, your post is hilarious...Well, I'm sure if was not funny to be stuck to the phone like that...oh my dear!

    It reminds me of a couple of family members I've dealt with in the nursing home. I literarily hide from them as they can keep talking for hours and hours, and in the meantime, I have other people waiting for me, or phone calls to take, or meetings to attend...

    Great post!

    Doris

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  43. Mercyn
    Kind of funny how the long winded besides having good lungs also have good memories.
    Small families are good. Makes it easy to remember birthdays.

    manzanita,
    Well, now that is one heck of a compliment but I think the old, grainy picture worked in my favor.

    OOLOH,
    I wonder if they hold interventions for excessive talkers. Maybe a 12 step program?
    Your fellow is not only long winded but boring. LW I don't mind, Boring is a crime.
    Glad I could bring a smile to your morning.

    Hold my hand,
    You know, we forgive our family and friends but in business that is a huge no-no. So glad you got a chuckle. Bet you could have done the whole post in 50 words and lost nothing. I bow to you.

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  44. I'm not quite as bad lol .... I do let others join in but I do take the larger share of the conversation... a few have managed to out talk me on the phone though and I have had to change ear every 20 mins....dont think I've continued talking when no one could hear lol

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  45. Hi Patti, I laughed and laughed at this post --but then, it made me think of a 'former' friend who used to call ALOT.

    This friend lived alone --and spent her life on the phone. I TRIED for a long time to 'be' a good friend --and to listen to her ramblings going on and on...

    Finally, I quit answering the phone.. However, she would just keep calling. Unfortunately, I had to break off the relationship totally for my own peace of mind... She finally got the message --and we haven't spoken in almost a year.

    I'm sorry about that --and I do like her. However, I am busy and got to the point that I HATED it when she would call. She called constantly...

    Guess I'm a 'bad' friend --but every time i think about contacting her just to say HI, I refrain because I don't want the calls to start back up again... It's a shame --but I just cannot deal with her anymore... Oh Well.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  46. This one's so light. People to need to read such to let them realize to make things a little bit easy.

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  47. Hi Patti,
    Thanks for stopping by. I just read your comment. The sad thing on that particular case was that the patient had completed a Durable power of attorney for healthcare, and has worded in such a way that both daughters had equal rights on any decisions, 50-50 power of decision. I had never seen a document like that in my life, they usually have one first agent appointed, and another one, in case the first one is not available or unable to make decisions. That was a difficult case, and there we were in the middle of that legal battle, having to have the company's attorney involved to make sure we were not going to do anything that could come back against us. I'm glad it's in the past now..phew.

    In reference to your comment here, I don't think I could have written such a humorous post in 50 words. I am wanting to go back to my regular posts. But guess what? After your and other blogging buddies encouragement, I have decided to publish my A to Z collection. :-)) Already working on it.

    Have a blessed day, Patti.

    Doris

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  48. Haha, that was funny! I loved it :) now, I say my son is a talker but he is also an intent listener, or should I say, he can be. When he begins going on about his sports team, his name may well be Jean!
    Thanks for the laugh this morning! I love the picture of the two of you!

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  49. Lovely post Patti, and of course it brought memories with it of people that I have known over the years who have been talkers. Most of them have been interesting too, but I have occasionally been tempted to feign my own death whilst being on the receiving end. I wonder if they would have even paused for breath if I had done so...?

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  50. Angie,
    The ears really do get smushed if you don't do that don't they? At least you do let others join in. Way to go.

    Betsy,
    I know how you feel. I had a friend like that who was a walking partner with 3 other gals. We desperately tried to keep the conversation going but when she got hold of it, we just shook our heads and walked. It would have been a deal breaker but we knew her husband always belittled her and this was her one chance to shine. We made sure she got the entire last half hour of the walk as all hers.

    Raffy Jay,
    Thank you so much for stopping by and welcome to TNS.

    Doris,
    Oh dear, a 50/50 power was a path to disaster. I'll bet you were on tender hooks so as not to leave yourselves liable.
    Yes, yes, yes, I am so glad you are going to do that. You have a really unique talent for telling a complete story in a few words.

    Tracy,
    Oh well, I understand about sports. I can be a bit gabby there myself. Thanks so much.

    Peter,
    Ha,ha, the sad thing is that might not stop some people. They would insist on climbing into the ambulance with you to finish what they were saying.

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  51. Wishing you a Happy Easter and to let you know our one daughter, Becky will be having kidney surgery on Monday the 25th.

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  52. Funny - Funny - I laughed out loud. Your the best! Good tale.

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  53. I just hope I am not like that. I have to confess, I have talked to dead air at times. David and I argue about who is interupting whom or is it whom? These days, I communicate mostly with text messages for my own good. It is hell to hold a cell phone for two hours. Dianne

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  54. Patty,
    Thank you and Becky is in my prayers for a smooth operation and quick recovery.

    Grayquill,
    Thanks, always feel good if I find your funny bone.

    OOLOH,
    Thank you Naomi, you too.

    Dianne,
    So you have talked into dead air? Guess you are not alone. Texting is a good idea,I may take that up.

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  55. Oh my- this is just too funny! I love to talk, but strangely, not on the phone. This post reminded me of my sister and I- we always talk over each other-

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  56. Fun post. I love to talk..but more in person. On the phone is with a select few ppl.. but even that is not for too long. I get bored of holding the phone to my ear for that long..LoL :)

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  57. Southwest Arkie,
    That is funny. My brother and I tend to start talking at the same time, realize the other wanted to speak, then we both get silent.

    lostworld,
    I know,like you I think in person is so much better. I like seeing expressions.

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