Monday, August 19, 2019

CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR

Rerun from 4-29-13  This post has gotten several hits lately probably due to the Bundy movie.  So I thought I'd give it a reboot. 


                             A WIFE FOR THE NIGHT

Some people live a little closer to the edge than I do and maybe have just a little bit more fun. I am not an overly cautious person, but Paula definitely had more moxie than I, especially the current version of  "I".

Paula came to work at our exit on the turnpike in Florida as a toll collector.  She was a young divorcee, attractive and a tad on the tough side. She was a bit of a wild child.  

Now all of us , even the semi-retired old ladies like me, were flirted with daily.  Regular customers like truckers, business men, traveling salesmen were often playful in our brief interactions. 

We were sort of a monotony break for the travelers.    It was generally fun and harmless. I enjoyed the gray haired set.   

Paula was popular on my shift. Usually she flirted openly but rarely followed through.  One slow night, a really handsome young fellow in a yellow Corvette came through and after a brief flirt, told Paula that he was looking for a "wife for the night."  He wanted her to meet him at the service plaza after her shift ended in about half an hour for a meal and "what ever". 

We had to admit that this was a unique  pick up line that purely laid out his intentions.   We were surprised when Paula decided to meet him for dinner. We tried to caution her by saying she knew nothing about the fellow and reminding her that even serial killer Ted Bundy was a good looking, harmless looking lad. 


Ted Bundy. Sadly I would have trusted that face. 

Regardless, after shift, she took off down the turnpike. I was a bit concerned but she swore she would be OK. I tried to remember I was young once and the plaza was a crowded place.

The next day, I was relieved to see Paula arrive for work. I couldn't wait to hear how her "date" went.

She got the giggles and told me she gave him exactly what he had asked for.  They had dinner and coffee and the whole time, she critiqued his table manners, lack of ambition, speech and even his clothes.  


Basically, she nagged him. She became a wife from Hell for the night or at least for an hour of it. She said from the minute he made his strange request, the plan to nag him was born. 

He wanted a wife so she made sure he got the worst kind of one. She nagged for the whole meal then  started complaining of a phantom headache.  He quickly baled. Paula had great fun and enjoyed a full belly. 

That was not at all the kind of "wife"  the young fellow was looking for and I am sure he did some work on that pick up line. 

Sums up the old precaution, "be careful what you ask for".  You just might get it. 
           

Monday, August 12, 2019

EMBARRASSED


A couple of months ago I bought a new riding mower as my 15 year old model just quit.  I took a chance buying a Craftsman because Sears is so shaky these days. The home town stores are supposedly privately owned and this is a small town so there are few choices.

The new mower has done a decent job and while there are things I don't like, there are also things I really do like.

The turning radius is awesome compared to my old one however the dip stick is really hidden under immovable objects and it will be a bear adding oil.  I am thinking of getting a small turkey baster to do the job.  It was that concern that had me checking the mower on a non-mow day.

However as I walked up behind it, something popped out at me that I had never noticed before. Usually I just climb aboard from the left side and off we go but this time as I approached from the back I noticed the engine was sitting at an odd angle.




I gently tried to straighten it but it didn't budge. I didn't dare to try to start it. First I checked the store to see if they had the same model on the floor so I could compare. They had sold out and had no ideas to explain my crooked engine.  They suggested I call the repair service I had paid extra for. The appointment was set up and I waited.

The repair man called me on the assigned date. I told him my concerns and he said he was on the way but since he was coming from Little Rock that it would be at least two plus hours.

The very nice repair man arrived before lunch and examined my mower.  

"The motor mount bolts are all there, none are broken and there is nothing wrong with it."  He said with a smile. 

I didn't believe him but sure enough, the engine was solid if cockeyed. 

He said they off set the engine to keep the exhaust from cooking the plastic.  Then he added apologetically as if it would answer any further questions I had, "These engines are made in China."

I was feeling a bit like the person who buys a computer and swears it doesn't work till they are shown the "on" button.  Yes, I was quite embarrassed. 

Luckily he had other repairs in this area so I wasn't a total waste of his time and he did show me some neat stuff.

After he left it mowed my property just fine. 

You ever convinced you needed a repair only to find out there was nothing wrong?