Monday, July 24, 2017

WHEN THE FAMOUS DISAPPOINT


Recently Cranky Old Man posted about the long list of the celebrities he has bumped into. It reminded me of one of my early posts in 2009 and since I only had 4 commenters on that day, I thought I'd rework and repost. Two of those commenters are still with me. Thanks Betsy and Robin for hanging in there with me all this time.

This is a two part story so to spare you eye strain and mind numbing boredom, I'll post the second part next week.

*****
The table sat 12 and Jerry and I claimed two empties about midway. At the head sat one of the richest men in America at that time, John D. MacArthur. This was totally his court. Directly across from me sat the "Great One", Jackie Gleason with his long time companion. At her side sat a household name golfer who for this account shall be nameless and go by the initials AGG (Arrogant Golfer Guy).

AGG  was alive when I first posted this and  though he passed not too long ago  I will continue to keep his identity secret. He may have changed mightily with age. Plus his family is still around so he will go by that acronym for this story.

The rest of the chairs were filled with lesser name golfers and business men. Jackie's girlfriend and myself were the only women.  We were at a country club in Palm Beach Gardens which had just become the headquarters of the PGA and the early round of a four ball tournament had just concluded.

And what, do you ask, was I doing there? Just darn lucky. I was working at the bank at that time so I was on a first name basis with a lot of the local business giants. Somehow, my short stature and incessant grin made me adoptable to a lot of people. Jerry was not my date, but a friend and he was high up in the MacArthur organization.

Though I was personally a poor golfer, at that point in my life I followed the game closely, especially with the national headquarters so close to home. Jerry got me passes for the tournament when he heard of my interest.

The main person I wanted to meet (he appears in the next post) was not at the table but I was content and awed by who was.

I was never a fan of the Honeymooners but had enjoyed Jackie Gleason in the movie The Hustler. He was a decent golfer and was one of the celebrity participants. Here I was eye to eye with a comedic legend. How cool was that? Not very, it turned out.

I foolishly expected lunch to be one laugh after another with the famous comic present. I have since learned that often performers are seldom very entertaining "off stage." Jackie, who was equally famous for his alcohol consumption, did not disappoint in that area.

His only conversation between drinks were a few nasty zingers, often cruelly directed towards his companion. Her name was Honey and she suffered in embarrassed silence. His eyes narrowed with each drink and his zingers became more hurtful.  Truthfully, the man scared me.  He may have normally been a kind, caring, delightful person----he just wasn't even close to one that day.

To take my mind off him, I turned to the famous golfer and reminded and him of a magazine ad we had done about 3 years earlier. No I am not a model, I just happened to be in the right place and earned a whopping $25.00 for the shoot.

The ad for Heinz Ketchup did make the Post Magazine but with all my moves, my copy is gone.  Of course he did not remember me but he did ask me to dance.

I was not aware of his marital status at the time and I said, "Sure."

"Will you or won't you?" he whispered crudely in my ear as we danced. At first, my naivety left me confused and I looked quite blank so he continued.

"You know what I am talking about."  He sounded almost angry.  "I'm not in town long so I can't waste my time if you won't."  I had heard classier propositions in high school.

When his clumsy offer sunk in, I just told him to look elsewhere, that I had plenty of time to"waste". He promptly steered me back to my seat. The music was not finished but he was. AGG certainly was serious about not wasting time.

Twice in a short period, I had seen the meaner side of the rich and entitled.My celebrity elbow rubbing that day for lunch proved to be a huge disappointment. Thankfully the day was not over and it got delightfully better before night fell.

Continued next week.

You ever have a celebrity disappoint you?

Monday, July 17, 2017

PEACE AND MY FAVORITE CLEAN JOKE


Just a quick video to make you realize just how peaceful your life actually is since you don't have to fight for your food.  These are my frantic Hummers in the
early morning. By late afternoon, there are more than 20 of the scrappers and too frantic to film. Time to put out a second feeder I guess.

   video

I think we all have a favorite joke. One that we can hear more than once and just crack up.

My favorite is an old story but I laugh or at the least smile happily when ever I hear it. The first I heard it was on a late night talk show many, many years ago. Can't remember who told it, just know I loved it.

It was just recently that I became aware of it again as it popped up in a book I was reading.  This is my recollection of it.

Harvey and Moe are baseball fanatics. They follow the game religiously and had played in recreational leagues into their 70's.  

One day they discussed  that being in their mid 90's now meant they were probably hitting the end of the trail. 

They questioned if there might be baseball in Heaven. Both fervently hope so. They then make a pact that who ever went first would somehow let the one left behind know for sure. 

Sadly Moe passes first. After a few days, Harvey is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice.   

"Moe is that you?" Harvey asks hopefully.

"Of course old friend and I have some good news and some bad news. Good news first.  The good news," says Moe, "is that there is baseball in heaven. Better yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet, we're all young men again.  And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired!" 

"Wonderful!!! What on earth could possibly be the bad news? " Harvey asked.

"You're pitching Thursday."

OK, maybe a touch macabre but I loved it. I may have a dark side.

Do you have a favorite clean joke?  Care to share or perhaps blog about it?