Now days, if you find your spouse annoying, there is no need for lawyers, long drawn out contentious wrangling and dividing up the spoils of marriage. Instead, just go to a local bar, seek the guy with lots of neck tattoos sitting quietly in the corner and see if he is up for some quick cash. Hopefully, you have found your contract killer and not a government undercover guy.
My question is, should the surviving spouse enjoy freedom from dirty hands by this transaction?? Legally of course not--- but how about morally since they don't do the actual killing??
The reason for the preceding is that I have sunk to a similar low and am now seeking absolution. I have hired such a killer who is tattooless, works for dog food and kind words.
My soul searching began recently when I saw Callie jump on something and snaring it in her mouth. Thinking it was another poor fledgling bird, I yelled at her and like a good dog, she dropped it.
However it was not a bird she dropped but a dreaded garden destroying vole, still quite alive though wet. The small creature was ever gratefully for the release and scurried for safety under the porch hoping to live another day.
"Get it!!!" I yelled to a confused Callie, now giving her permission to murder the little beast I had just told her to drop. She didn't say anything of course but "please make up your mind" was written all over her face. She owns the quizzical look.
Poor baby, I am sure she was wondering why I was standing there with a perfectly good garden hoe in my hands, doing nothing but yelling at her as the vole ran between my shoes.
The need for removing these voles has been on my mind for quite a while as the cute little creatures are really destructive. Repellents have not worked nor has trying to find vole resistant plants worked. Seems they aren't picky eaters.
Yes, I am too much of a wuss to do the deed myself. However I am not above encouraging my eager dog to dispatch them and labeling the murder, "nature." Does that keep my tender heart pure or does that make me a huge hypocrite??
Though the creature did not go to vole heaven that day, permission has been granted and I have hired my killer. Am I not on the same level as the disgruntled spouse?? ?? I am afraid I know that answer.
Do you contract the killing of pests or are you able to do the deed yourself??
Or are you truly kind hearted and let them live long and prosper??
Sigh, I use to be in the latter group.
|This was sent to me by my Florida friend Sue. Think it sums up most of the comments if you substitute pests for people. Thanks Sue.|