Monday, February 6, 2017

POOP POST



It may be hard to believe from that title but this is a public service post. I have discovered something that I wish to share in case there are others out there like me. If this is too much information, come back next week. I won't be hurt.

First off, I am normally a world class pooper. Totally text book regarding, frequency, ease, consistency, size and color.  If there were awards, I would own the gold.  I know---that erases any mystique I may have owned before today.

I was not always this way as I use to be an avid carnivore which is not conducive to great poops.  I once thought having a bowel movement once a week was normal.  Then I discovered vegetables. The more plant based my meals became, the more classic were my poops.  For the past 20 years, I have been golden.

However, even I on occasion will get temporarily bound.  This can happen if I go off the fiber briefly or indulge in a cheese binge.  Usually though it happens when I put off the warning signals and postpone the morning toilet cause I'm busy.  According to Dr. Oz, when we ignore the urges and postpone the act, our poops turn rock like and block the exit quite effectively.

This was the case when I was trying to expel a few rocks a couple of months ago. As I held my breath and strained I thought, Isn't this how Elvis and King George died? I mean two kings suffered "death by toilet" along with countless lesser sorts through out the years. Why should I be special and not have it happen? I all ready know I have vascular problems.

It is a medical fact that straining can cause a brain aneurysm or an aortic dissection. I don't think any of us want to do a face plant on the tile with our butts in the air as our final salute to the world.

Holding my breath and straining I could feel the pressure in my head. So I thought, what if I exhaled while straining?  Don't weightlifters do that?
I was afraid I would reduce the effectiveness of straining by exhaling but I gave it a whirl and the opposite happened.

I took a deep breath, pursed my lips and forcefully blew air out in a slow, steady stream while straining.  Wow, what a difference. No brain pressure and the desired results were amazing. With ease and comfort my sphincter relaxed with the modified straining method.  The poop rocks left for splash down with very little effort. Quick, easy and efficient. Who knew?

I don't have the need for this method often as I usually am diligent with my veggies. However, when I do, it is nice to know I have an effective weapon handy and it has worked splendidly each time.

Ok, you may have all ready discovered this and have been doing it since childhood. If you have, I am envious. It took me 77.5 years to stumble across it.

However, if you are not currently exhaling while straining, give it a try. I think you will be pleasantly surprised and your next of kin will be appreciative.

This is the end of my public service announcement. Purse your lips and blow in good health folks. I promise to clean up my act next week.

47 comments :

  1. Only you could write a post about crapping in a loo and make it sound classy!

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    Replies
    1. Joey,
      Ha ha, not sure classy was achieved but thanks.

      Delete
  2. Patti. I have no comment to make.

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    Replies
    1. Olga,
      No comment needed as long as you think about it. Could save a life.

      Delete
  3. More veg and less animal products would make the world a healthier place -- just say'n.

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    1. Out to pasture,
      That is a given and I think we are finally getting there as a nation.

      Delete
  4. "Really?" I ask myself. "Really, did Patti just write about bowel movements?" Of course she did because she is Arkansas Patti. If I wrote on such a subject I would say one word, "Linzess" the most wonderful drug of the 21st Century. Bodily functions are important.

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    Replies
    1. Annie,
      I have heard good things about Linzess but I personally am big on natural methods.

      Delete
  5. This is very valuable information. I too am usually very healthy in the poop department, but every once in awhile I get "stuck" so to speak. You may have saved my life, who knows? Thanks for this tip! I mean it. From the bottom of my heart, or to my heart. :-)

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  6. Practical pooping pointers, Patti!!

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    Replies
    1. Fran,
      Awesome, applicable, alliteration.

      Delete
  7. Well, ain't that the shi......

    Veggies rule!

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    1. Barry,
      And that's the truth oh wise one.

      Delete
  8. Never too old to learn something new. Thanks for this public awareness message.

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    Replies
    1. Stephen,
      Some thing it is best to share for the greater good, even if uncomfortable.

      Delete
  9. I wish you had started this post with "I have a friend who..."

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    1. Joeh,
      Ha ha, are you saying that you are trying to unsee an image??

      Delete
  10. Thank you for this public service poop post. I'm never sure why poop is not a general topic for discussion, but it's not. And yet, how many of us really know the correct way to eat and poop? Thank you!

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    1. robin,
      Not enough evidently--I sure didn't. So glad you got it. People do die each year from that simple act. Just one of life's basic functions. Thanks.

      Delete
  11. HA HA ---Only YOU could write about this so elegantly... AND--that is good advice... I'm one who has suffered from constipation off and on my entire life.. (Inherited from Mom).... I have to work hard to eat right and drink tons of water... Most of the time, I have a good handle on my situation but there are times when straining is needed... I did NOT know about breathing out --but will do it from now on. SO---you can put this in your hopper as someone you have helped. Thanks.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    1. Betsy,
      Ha ha. you just made putting myself out there worth it. THANK YOU!!! I truly wish someone had told me years ago before I developed diverticulitis and a tortured colon both from straining. It is such a simple fix. My hopper is happy and was my only goal.

      Delete
  12. Constipation is one thing I've never suffered from in 75 years.

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    1. Linda,
      How wonderful. Such a blessing. Please keep it in the back of your mind however should you ever run into someone with the problem.

      Delete
  13. Yep, gotta have enough fiber and fluids! Never knew about this tip! I'll keep it in mind, should the need arise ;-)

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    1. Carole,
      You are doing everything right and now you have a tool for when you slip up. Enjoy.

      Delete
  14. OMG, I laughed out loud as I read the post. AND then I went ooooh....must try that.

    Best public service announcement I've read in a very long time!

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    Replies
    1. Eileen,
      Thank you so much. You got exactly what I was going for. That makes my day.

      Delete
  15. I will take your message seriously, while I giggle. Only you, Patti.

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    Replies
    1. Linda R,
      Another one who got it. Thank you and hope you find it useful:))

      Delete
  16. For one thing, I'd say you got guts. Actually it goes along with the colon.
    But seriously, you do have guts to put this out there. Sooo important and I have always said, "Death begins in the colon." Take good care of the colon and ya got it made.

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    Replies
    1. Belva,
      You are so right. Years of taking care of animals taught me to watch what goes in but also what comes out. Both vital to our health.

      Delete
  17. You are to be commended for your public service effort in this post, Patti. However I must say it lacked practical application for me having been an occasional "IMODIUM" GUY FOR YEARS..:)

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    1. TB,
      Thanks. Sorry but I haven't the foggiest idea on improving the opposite condition:)) Go Imodium.

      Delete
  18. Brave post! And thanks for the excellent tip!

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    1. Linda Myers,
      Thank you. Hope you or someone you know can benefit.

      Delete
  19. My dear Patti, I'll definitely think of you the next time I'm on the toilet! Many people have heart attacks while pooping. You may have saved a life. No strain equals much gain!

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    1. Barb, I'd rather you thought of me while photographing that cool fox:))
      I am pretty sure a lot of the heart attacks from straining go unreported. It seems like such a simple solution.

      Delete
  20. Good grief, I didn't know that people had heart attacks while on the toilet. Well, only Elvis, I guess. I am lucky in that I don't have to strain. Only on a rare occasion, but I'll be sure remember your advice. Thanks!

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    1. Cheryl,
      Pretty sure a lot of those events go unreported for embarassment reasons. Just keep it in mind. Exhale and save a life.

      Delete
  21. I have to commend you. It is not easy to write a post entry on such a topic and keep it "above board". Also, thanks for the tip !

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  22. Ginnie,
    Thanks, I tried. Hope you try it. It really works.

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  23. I LOVED this post. I wrote a post a while back about coffee doing the job too. If I'm having a problem, I use my Chinese qi gong exercise which is similar to what you're doing except I also raise my arms up, stretch and exhale while lowering my arms. Whatever works! LOL

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    1. Hi again, Patti!
      I must tell you that I've been doing the blowing trick and am amazed. Even without the qi gong moves, the blowing works best! Awesome! Thanks so much. Ummm... works on #1 and #2. :-)

      Delete
  24. I missed this post but I had to come see after reading the next one. For me this is a serious issue as I have IBS. I think half the US population has bathroom issues- it is true that we eat a horrendous diet and definitely too much junk food. I think I'll give your veggie diet a try..I've tried everything else.

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  25. After reading your most recent post, of course I had to come here and read this too. I'm doing well with veggies and adding All Bran to my cereal, but as you said, sometimes stuff gets stuck. Will definitely try this next time.

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  26. This breathing is taught at prenatal class as the pusging out a baby has the same strain on the body and the breathing is to releave the stress. Glad you are more relaxed with this new tech.

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  27. Well, thank you! I will try this the next time I need it. Who knew?

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