Monday, June 26, 2017

TIME FOR A KEEPER??


I was in that delicious state of half wakefulness when the body feels no sense of connection to the earth and seems to float peacefully.  There are no cares, no drama, just bliss and the lingering images of a fun dream.

I'm sure there is probably a drug that gives this same effect and I am positive it is hugely popular but my sense of well being then was just from extreme drowsiness after a delightful nights sleep. One of those times you realize how blessed you are to be retired and have no demands like work or a schedule to spoil the mood.

Oh, maybe not work but a small dog can be just as disturbing. I heard Callie outside the bedroom door softly whining her need to go outside.  At least it starts out soft and imploring but soon escalates to a cranky, loud demand. "Get your lazy butt up if you want a dry floor. I am doing my best to keep it in."

Slowly so as not to shatter the mood, I swung my feet off the bed and found the shorts that I keep handy for a quick cover up when style isn't important. They are an old, loose fitting pair of stretch Bermuda shorts from my fattest days. They offer a tad of modesty yet are easy to put on each morning when I let Callie out. They keep my exposure to a minimum for the passing traffic as I open the door.
  
Turning my dog out in the morning while facing a fairly busy highway is just one of the reasons I keep the baggy shorts around and near the bed. They are my, "Oh crap, is that a tornado I hear?" prep clothes.  However they are also handy for, "geez Louise, the house is on fire."  They are my emergency cover ups when exposure is  imminent.  Not stylish but effective.

Trying to keep my delightfully mellow mood undisturbed, I gently slid one leg in the shorts, then the other.   Things seemed just a bit off and I when stood up to pull them up, I almost fell over. Somehow I had put both legs in the same leg hole.

Sheesh, how many years have I've been doing this successfully without conscious thought?  Probably 75, as the first couple of years I was pretty much hit and miss. Perhaps I am reentering that poor aiming toddler phase.

Then the giggles started especially when I found my legs went in the leg hole easier than they came out. No doubt I am getting a step closer to needing a keeper.

Have you found subtle warning signs such as this lately? Care to share? I won't tell.

43 comments :

  1. I cannot list all the things that happen to me now that I am more vertically challenged. Every day I find myself tripping or bumping into something and saying "This is how I am going to die".

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    1. Annie,
      At least we can't say this time in our lives is boring.

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  2. I know that dreamy place between sleep and wake. I was just there a short time ago, then I got up and went to make my morning tea and read blogs sitting up in bed. You made me laugh, Patti. No, you are not yet ready for a keeper! :-)

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    1. Djan,
      Isn't that the coolest place?? Thank you for the vote of confidence.. Guess only if I keep doing it I should worry:))

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  3. I keep a bathrobe at the foot of my bed for the very purpose you keep your shorts only it's usually me that has to pee first in the morning before the dog. He usually sleeps a hour or more longer than I do and always has---puppyhood training, living with a disabled guy whose needs came before mine or the dog's.

    I love this story, got a big laugh out of you putting both legs in the same leg hole. I'm great at putting my pull up pants on backward and having to start over again.

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    1. Jean R,
      So glad you got a laugh. I know I did. Don't know how I have lived all these years and never owned a bathrobe. Maybe I should invest.

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  4. Thank you for the laugh this morning. So far the only signs I have of my aging body are forgetfulness and a loss of hearing. Oh wait, I just remembered, my eyesight ain't what it used to be either.

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    1. Robin,
      So glad I found your funny bone. Don't ya love those signs that keep creeping up. Relax though, you are still a puppy.

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  5. HA ---I think that IF we can continue to laugh at our little craziness, then we're still okay --and don't need a keeper..... BUT---speaking of a keeper, I'd love to have someone to help us with our yard work, house work, etc.... Can we get one really really cheap?????? ha ha

    Hugs,
    Betsy
    P.S. I have that same pair of old shorts here...

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    1. Betsy,
      Me too on the helper. I am really behind in my weeding lately. Where are the willing teenagers wanting a buck these days. Oh yes, staring at their phones:))
      Aren't those old shorts comfy?

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  6. I've done that at night with my pj's--more than once!!

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    1. Fran,
      Thank you friend for making me feel totally normal. If you do it too--I'm good.

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  7. You have me grinning and shaking my head.

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    1. Linda R,
      So happy I could make you smile today. Mission accomplished.

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  8. The one thing I notice about growing older is I have trouble tuning out background noise, especially in restaurants, which always seen noisy to me.

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    1. Stephen,
      Odd you mentioned that. Just the other day I was complaining about the noise level in a restaurant. I swear they were grinding up humans in the back.

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  9. I have to lasso my leg with the pant leg to put the on as it is hard to bend over and put them on. Yes I have often lassoed both legs without knowing.

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    1. Joeh,
      Hadn't thought about it but I think I use the lasso method also with my jeans. Now you have me conscious of it.

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  10. When I take off my sweater, I pull it from the bottom up over my head. That's when the buttons in front get caught in my nose. Every time.

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    1. Jean M,
      Welcome to the not terribly exclusive club. Haven't done the buttons but I always seem to think putting on or taking off a pullover works fine while wearing glasses. Duh.

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  11. Thank you so much for the much needed belly laugh. I have done that and agree that it is much easier getting those legs into one hole than it is getting them out. I mostly put my tee shirts on backward or my panties on wrong side out. Hugs for you and nose kisses for sweet Callie.

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    1. Maggie,
      Delighted you got in some core work while reading this post:)) Understand the inside out syndrome. I once went to town with my shorts inside out. They looked like riding jodhpurs and I was with a friend who failed to tell me.

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  12. Dear Patti, I find myself putting my reading glasses hither and thither and then having to roam the house to find them. Also, I'm really realizing that cutting my toenails is a major effort nowadays. Oh, those days of long ago flexibility!

    Isn't it wonderful that you can fit two legs in one. You must have really lost a lot of weight. Congratulations . . . and . . . how did you do it? I'd be interesting in knowing as I have about 15 pounds to lose. Peace.

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    1. Dee,
      I sometimes think God uses our eyeglasses to make sure we get enough exercise looking for them. As for the weight loss, I lost 42 pounds when I was diagnosed with heart disease. I found the Mayo Clinic site which has a ton of heart healthy recipes. When you get scared enough, the weight falls off.

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  13. My forgetfulness is beginning to worry me. This morning I thought of something I wanted to Google when I was in the kitchen and by the time I sat down with the laptop, I'd forgotten what it was. I tell myself it mustn't have been important. Frustrating though. And I do worry about the stairs going down to do laundry. Between dizzy spells, a bad ankle and the cats, there's been lots of stumbles. But I do try to hang onto the rail. It would be wonderful to have a housekeeper!

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    1. Cheryl,
      I do that trip to the lap top a lot. It use to bother me but not any more. I know it will eventually come to me and in the meantime, I am getting exercise with all the trips. Yes on a housekeeper.

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  14. Oh yes, oh yes, and not so subtle sometimes. LOL

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  15. I like your descriptive waking -up feeling. I wonder how many other people can say they wake up, feeling that good?

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    1. Belva,
      You have to catch the feeling before you are fully awake. It really is marvelous.

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  16. My husband announced to me the other day that he saw an ad for +7 reading glasses (or cheaters as I call them). I use +3 the highest Wallyworld has available. I know he was digging at me, but I am seriously going to google this and see if there are +7s out there. I have about ten pair all over the house and nary a one is handy when I need them..which lately has been every time I try to read anything. I'm glad you did not fall over!

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    1. Terri,
      I use cheaters also in three different strengths but use eye glass caddies so I always know where they are. I didn't know you could get OTC +7 glasses. I have a friend looking for higher than 3. Thanks.

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  17. Like Stephen mentioned I have a hard time with background noise, it seems I can understand conversations across the room and not hear anyone right across the table from me.

    Memory is another, as you know I can recall things that happened all the way back to my childhood but just this morning I went out to my shop, unlocked the doors and just stood there, Cindy asked what I was going to do, and I still don't know why I went out there :)

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    1. Jimmy,
      Welcome to the club. My brother still reminds me of the time I walked out in the middle of my pasture, looked up at the sky and wailed,"Why am I here>"

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  18. Hilarious. I'll be watching for that sign.

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    1. Barbara,
      Just remember to laugh when it happens. It takes the sting out:))

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  19. Just shows how skinny you've gotten if you managed to get both legs in one hole! I find myself at the pantry or opening a drawer and thinking, "What am I doing here?" If I stand long enough, I usually remember what it is I need. At my age, I dislike restaurants (or other places of business) that play loud music. Often the decibel level is so loud, you can't carry on a conversation without raising your voice. Then, you realize everyone in the place is raising their voice! Happy 4th to you, Patti!

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    1. Barb,
      So good to see you!!! Recently my brother and I were in a restaurant that was really loud. I told Jim the good thing was that at least we couldn't hear our tinnitus.

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  20. Yes my eyes are my biggest hassle now and then comes stress as my life keeps sending waves of challenges. I also am suddenly very lazy about regular walks rain ot shine. I keep saying to myself do your walk and then find a chair and out on a TV show. They say seniors are watching the most and I an creepying into that groove knowing the harm I am creating. I have gained 5 ils in 3 months

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    1. Heidrun,
      I know what you mean. I really have to make myself take walks and if I don't, I pay the price with poor sleep. My dog helps to keep me moving.

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  21. Well, I've never had that exact thing happen to me but every day I realize how I'm aging ... mine is more like "where the heck did I put that?" or "what was I going to do?" Drives me crazy.

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  22. Ginnie,
    I know, we sure do a lot of aimless wandering as we age. I just look at it as unconscious exercise.

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  23. Too funny...
    Me? A lot has to do with memory. Sigh... The usual stuff.

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