HAVE YOU TRIED TO RUN LATELY?

Reworked from Dec. 2010 

Of course this post does not apply to most of you as you are probably still gazelle like, but anyone even near my age can possibly relate. I haven't run in years, mainly because there has been no need. I never was a distance runner in my youth but a heck of a sprinter, really fast but with limited endurance.

I have always admired people who jog daily. Those who can run apparently effortlessly and joyfully, have always made me green with envy. So, for a good portion of my life, I have been a contented walker but always thinking in the back of my mind, I could run if I had to.

I was watching a football game the other day and was focusing on the young players who would often skip back to the sidelines after a good play. I flashed back to my youth and remembered how much fun it was to skip. It is such a joyful way to move.

Could I still skip? I had to try. Planning my skip attempt route to end at the couch for safety reasons, I tried to convince my muscles that they remembered what to do. It may be like bike riding and is lodged somewhere in my memory banks but evidently my filing system is suspect.

It was not pretty folks. My legs turned spastic and incredibly heavy. My feet barely left the ground and thudded in heavy, uncontrolled semicircles as my arms flailed above my head looking for help. I felt like an out of control windmill and my ceiling fan was in serious danger. I was so grateful for having chosen the couch as my final destination. That part worked out quite well.

I am so grateful I did not take that spectacle outside for the neighbor's entertainment. Phew, scratch that off my bucket list. Who needs to skip anyway?

But back to running.   Before Christmas, I was walking my young neighbor boy back to the gate after a lovely visit and gift exchange. Mr. C, whom I wrote about here, drove by, saw us at the gate and came to a screeching halt.

Mr. C had left me a card and some homemade brownies in my mailbox the previous day and wanted to know if I had gotten them all right. I told him they were so good that I had devoured seven eights of the brownies the same day. I asked him to wait while I got his present.

His package was in the house and knowing he was in a hurry to deliver more of his calorie loaded presents, I asked him to wait and proceeded to run back to the house to get his gift. It was a nightmare folks. Instead of nice long, smooth strides taking me quickly to the house as I envisioned, my legs turned into pistons on me.

Instead of stretching forward, they went up and down in choppy, teeth jarring stomps. I was moving all right but it was mostly in a vertical fashion. I was making very little forward progress. My house just didn't seem to get much closer as I diligently labored. Then I started to laugh.

Life does travel in circles, karma does exists. Many years ago, I had witnessed an elderly fellow jogging in Florida. He was making the exact same motions I was currently exhibiting. It had tickled me so much at the time that I had actually mimicked his run for my co-workers amusement. I remembered saying, “ He was running, but up and down, not forward,” as I giggled.

Ah, the arrogance of youth.  I gave up my ungainly attempt to run and walked swiftly to the house only a little bit embarrassed but very amused.

So should I have tried to skip and run at my age ? Good grief no, not without conditioning and balance work first. But try telling that to the 30 year old mind that lives in this old carcass. Don't worry, lesson learned. That thirty year old mind has been properly chastised.

So I say, run with caution my friends, skip in the privacy of your own home close to something soft and listen to that 30 year old mind with a healthy dose of skepticism.