DUH

I like a comfy toilet seat so I have always bought the padded ones. They don't last forever but are cheap and easy to change out.  Then when I was having back problems, I added a riser to the mix.  Wow, why aren't all toilet seats four inches higher??  I got so accustom to the extra height that when using a public toilet, I always felt I was crashing to the floor.

My padded seat got a tear that liked to pinch my bum so I thought, easy fix and bought a new one.  What I didn't realize is that when I put the riser on, they had supplied much longer "metal bolts" to attach the riser and seat together.
Lord a mercy were they rusted.

Ok, off to Google I went who suggested a penetrating oil and patience. Well I tried both and still no budging.  Let me tell you, penetrating oil has a NASTY smell. My whole house reeked like a car's exhaust. I had to open the windows, put a fan in the room and shut the door with a towel underneath to block the fumes. I have compromised lungs and feared the toxicity of the fumes. That bathroom was useless to me but thankfully I had a backup bathroom.

I tried calling in the pros.  I called two plumbers and a handy man leaving messages. Not too smart as I left my problem along with my phone number on their answering machines.  This must be a horror show repair for those fellows as not one called me back.  If I needed a new toilet, I'd have had better responses. Rusty bolts?? Nothing. Not worth the trip. Can't say I blame them.

The Internet said I might be able to use a drill to attack the rusted nut but that kind of intimidated me. I would have to lay on my back and use a power tool which doesn't excite me like it does you guys.

Then I thought of pasting a decal over the tear. I thought a few funky flowers might be attractive while mending the tear. That Google search didn't give me much confidence. Too many bad reviews on the decals.

Then in exasperation I discovered my "duh" moment. I looked at the replacement seat I had bought carefully. Ah ha, It was the exact same as the one I was replacing.

What were those tiny screws?? Four screws attached each section to the hinge.  I wondered if I just unscrewed them and swapped out the old seat for the new one as the  hinge on the old one was fine?  YES. It worked like a charm. So simple.

I still have the rusty bolts that need to eventually be removed in case I ever need to replace the riser but now I have all the time I need to find someone desperate enough for work to tackle it. Maybe I'll wait till I have a big problem and use the rusty bolts as an add on job.  The replacement plastic bolts I bought can wait.

Those of you who have a live in handy man or a willing relative on speed dial, give them a hug today and let them know you appreciate them. They are priceless.