MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT

This may not be number one embarrassing moment, but is darn close mainly because of when it happened. It happened in my senior year of high school. That is the year scorched by drama and trauma for teens. Teenagers really live on the edge don't they? A missed call from "him" can cause a blue funk that only world hunger causes now. Getting a B instead of an A is cause to re-evaluate your "whole life." Seeing "him" talking to "her" makes the green dragon breathe heavy. Your team loses, "Oh NO I can't stand it." You want a car, Dad says "earn it" and the lower lip hits the floor. And, "No, you can't date a guy who is on probation." Every thing is either over the moon or under the rug. Teenage is a manic period.

I went steady all through high school, just not with the same guy. Usually I went straight from one to another but on rare occasions, I was shopping. Randy was on my shopping list. We had PE the same period and sometimes the classes would go co-ed for the dance segments. Randy was only a junior but he was BMOC (big man on campus)in that grade. Good enough for me. I was a cougar in training.

Randy was the quarterback on the foot ball team and when he asked if I would go to the pep rally bonfire with him, I was really pleased. We hadn't had a date yet but were just in the talking and walking in the hall together stage. This was the next step. We planned to meet there. He would have come to pick me up but he was one of the guys building the huge pyramid of wood for the fire.

I previously mentioned that when I hit puberty, the only thing to develop was my personality. I had to get by on personality, being kinda cute and relying on the "new girl" mystique. As a senior in high school, I was barely filling out my double A bra. Men may grow into "leg" men, but they definitely aren't in high school. They are one track and I wasn't on that track.

It was my best friend who led me astray that night. She had mentioned that she enhanced her look by stuffing Kleenex in her bra. So I decided to deceive also wanting to really impress Randy. I carefully folded a wad of toilet paper in each cup and was thrilled with the look. I was no Dolly Parton, but I was age appropriate, almost a B.

There was a little extra strut in my step as I went to the bonfire to meet Randy. He was so cute and my heart went pitty pat as he came over to see me with a big grin. I was wearing my best scoop necked sweater and with my new form, I was pretty confident.

Randy gently picked a piece of lint off my sweater as he excitedly told me about the fire preparations. Then he got a funny look and reached for my chest. Just a tiny bit of toilet paper must have shown at the edge of my sweater and he pulled on it. Well it pulled out of my sweater like it was on a roll. I had folded it just right. His eyes widened and he kept pulling. My one side dwindled till it was once again a puny double A but I was sporting my almost B on the other side.

If only Florida had earthquakes and the earth could have opened to swallow me I might have survived. The horror of seeing the toilet paper unrolling inch by inch from my sweater was bad enough but then Randy started laughing. He held up the long strip of paper and said loudly,"Hay, look what I found."

Good thing you can't die when you want to or this computer would still be in the store. I tried to lie and say that I had wrapped my money in that paper and was carrying it in my bra. I told you, I am no good at lying. Pretty soon there was a crowd of laughing football players around me. The same friend who had advised me about the tissue stuffing, grabbed me and took me home.

I knew my high school career was over. I wanted to quit right then. I knew I was the laughing stock and no teen can survive that. Fortunately I had the weekend to wallow in my misery,but it was also gave the school body time to dwell on something else, like we had actually won Homecoming. This was monumental for we had a weak team that year. Luckily for me, Homecoming trumped Patti.

Monday was actually uneventful. I spent the whole day before lunch with my eyes studying the floor as I went from class to class. I expected laughing and pointing but the hall buzz sounded normal. Class was normal. So I started peeking around as I walked to class. Randy broke out in laughter when he saw me but no one else did. In Randy's defense, it was not mean laughter, he just thought it was darn funny.

Truthfully, I never thought I would ever tell that story but fifty years later, I agree, it was funny and taught me well the folly of deception.

MIGHTY DOG UPDATE
He did well in surgery and I get to pick him up today. We have a 3 month rehab session ahead which is not pleasant for either of us. I will have to hurt him to make him better but we did it on the left leg so we will make it through with the right leg. Thanks to all of you for your sweet concern. You helped me though a rough spot and I thank you.