GPS

Global Positioning System, Public Service Announcement

First let me say that I love the whole concept of a GPS. I have had GPS moments when I have dewy eyed told that little flat voiced electronic miracle that I loved it like family. It can take you down 6 lane highways and miraculously keep you in the correct lane for your exit. It can offer the proper turns in PLENTY of time. It can reduce huge cities to a walk in the park for an old lady use to two lane, no traffic highways.

Even when it wants you to turn left when all the visual signs indicate you should turn right, I still don't knock the talking map. Not having a navigator makes the GPS a lovely traveling companion for a woman traveling alone. I treat it like I would a man though. I don't trust it blindly.

I am not totally oblivious to the fact that it can be fallible. Those errant left hand turns where there are no roads is a bit disconcerting but I never fully rely on the GPS for the final word. I always map my route on state maps and often have a maybe not so current AAA trip tik. With those three items, I felt pretty confident heading the almost 1000 miles to my Florida destination.

My GPS was mentally added to my will as a beneficiary as it masterfully took me flawlessly through Memphis which was previously an Achilles heel for me. Memphis either hates me or really likes me and wants to keep me, as I usually tour the depths of its bowels before it spits me out exhausted on the other side.

On three previous attempts to get through that city about 5 years ago with only paper map assistance, I struggled mightily. Memphis knows I fear its maze and just grins when it spots my little red Toyota as we drop off route 40 into its midst. This year however, it appears the construction was finally complete, detours nonexistent and we sailed through. I love you GPS. Take that Memphis.

Then outside of Birmingham Alabama, there was a serious GPS hiccup. I was cruising down a lovely 4 lane divided highway when the lady in the box told me to make a right hand turn at the next exit. Well there was no evidence of an exit nor was there one coming up. According to my paper copies, route 78 would take me straight into Birmingham where I would pick up route 65, so I forged on, ignoring the box.

Normally it would just "recalculate route" and give me new directions along the path I persisted in taking. Not this time. It kept insisting I was going to drop off a cliff and disappear. The flat voice took on an almost panicked tone. I think it actually used the term "please."

So, when I got to an actual exit, I took it and let GPS take me where it wanted. I got a lovely tour of a very nice residential area with stop signs at every block. I was frustrated but the GPS was finally happy and quiet. I put up with the aimless wanderings for about half an hour.

Finally realizing "Gee", my nickname for it, was all wet, I tried to return to route 78 but found where I had gotten off, there was no East bound entrance. Fortunately, I am a woman and have no problem asking directions. I secretly harbor the thought that the man who went out for a pack of cigarettes never to return did not abandon his family. He is just lost out there and refuses to ask directions. Sorry guys, you know it is true. I did lose time but eventually got back on track and made it through Birmingham quite nicely with an unplugged GPS and paper maps.

What I later figured out in the comfort of a motel was that my maps in the GPS were probably outdated. I had bought Gee on sale about 3 years ago which meant that the maps were probably obsolete then. That section of route 78 where it went kaplooie was shown as "proposed section of highway" on one of my older paper maps. Since then the road had been completed. Obviously, the GPS thought I was completely off road and thumping through pastures and woods. It had no idea how to get me back on any road. God bless it for trying.

I can only say that if you are traveling and relying on a GPS that is several years old, please pay the extra bucks and get it updated. Without the update, it will still know where you are on this earth via coordinates, it just may not have a highway in its maps to put you on. So update and use paper maps as a back up. Also a navigator that doesn't nosh on dog biscuits and snooze a lot would be a help.

That is my first PSA (public service announcement) for 2010. Happy traveling folks.