WILL THE REAL PATTI STAND UP

This week Kenju at Imagine posted a question in reference to a book. The book was "The Other Wes Moore" which had been discussed on Oprah. It was about two men with the same name and similar backgrounds who ended up in totally different lifestyles.

Judy posed the question,"Have you ever met or known of someone with your same name (who wasn't a relative?)" Thank you Judy, I have been floundering here for days in my Benadryl induced fog, unable to find anything to write about and unable to even find the want to. You jogged my memory and I hope I can slug through the story.

I became aware of my name double at my gynecologists in my early thirties. I was in the waiting room, due for my annual exam, when my name was called. I smiled and followed the nurse but was surprised as she led me past the stirrup equipped rooms to a small room in the back the building.

" Patricia, I have your shots all ready for you. If you will just bend over and expose your hip." she said as she prepared a syringe.

"Ah, what is that for?" I asked confused. "I am here for a pap smear."

"Ok, but you still need to get your shots." she insisted.

I am not a needle wary person, I just knew I was not scheduled for any shots and refused to bare my behind.

She was getting a bit upset with me and showed me my records. The chart had my name all right but when I saw the strange address they had for me, I realized a mistake had been made. In a short time, the nurse and I realized they had two patients with the name of Mrs. Patricia K. Seems my name double had been unfortunate and was getting shots for an STD (sexually transmitted disease). Oops.

That evening at a cook out with my boyfriend Phil, I was laughing about my misadventures when his room mate, who was just going out said the he kept forgetting to tell me that he had actually dated a lady with the same name as mine. Seems she was a teacher in a neighboring town. They had only dated briefly but he said she was my age and divorced also.

The gynecologist mixup explained some other strange events I had experienced. The weird phone calls. Earlier that year, around 3AM , I received the first of the strange phone calls.

"Let me talk to my old buddy Dave." a strange voice barked.

"There is no one by that name here. You must have a wrong number." I answered and prepared to hang up.

"Look Patti, I know he is there for I just went by and his car was there." He said irritably.

I got the feeling old buddy Dave no longer an "old buddy", but I still couldn't help him. His using my name however really threw me.

"Put him on or I am coming up." he growled.

" I don't know who you are or what you are talking about." I said a tad scared and hung up.

I watched out the window for a while but no one showed up. Guess he went banging on the other "Patti's" door. I'm sure ole buddy Dave was surprised.

I continued getting odd late night calls from various men, most drunk and irritated when I denied ever knowing them. After the gynecologist episode I knew what was happening. I found the other Patti's number listed only under her initials. Since I used my first name in the directory, I figured that was where the problem came in.

I called her to let her know I was getting her calls. I was hoping we could find a way to solve the problem but she just yawned and said in a very insincere voice,"Sorry, not much I can do about that." Then she actually HUNG UP on me. Now that made me more than a bit angry.

Sure I could have easily redirected the wayward calls to her number but that meant I still had to answer them in the wee hours. You don't dare ignore a late night calls. What if it involved the well being of a family member?

So, I found another answer. First I got an unlisted number which was a pain for I had to make sure all my family and friends got the new number. Too bad the Al Gore had not invented the Internet yet. One group email would have solved the problem.

One night a week, the single girls from the bank where I worked and I had a GNO (girls night out). We would either go shopping, bowling, to a movie or sometimes go to a local night club with live music to dance and flirt harmlessly with strange guys. It was just for fun as most of us were in relationships.

We always used phony names on our nightclub nights. I kept my first name so I would remember to answer when spoken to but changed my last name to Craig. If we were pressed for a phone number, we usually gave out the one for the local 'time of day' service. I had checked and there were no Patti Craigs in the phone book.

Sorry guys but you played the same game as some of you had white places on your ring finger where the wedding ring normally sat. Did you really think we would believe that many astronauts, CIA agents and Navy Seals go to local nightclubs? Nope , no more than you should have believed that a contingent of airline stewardesses were on the town. Oh the games people play.

Since I was irritated with my name double, on a couple of the GNO, I give out her number instead of the usual "time of day " number to my dance partners. I just needed a wee bit of revenge. Not very nice I know, but I am pretty sure that was probably exactly what she had been doing with my number on a regular basis.

Don't know if she got any late night calls but I sure felt a lot better. When the new phone books came out that year, there were no longer any listings for a Patricia K. We both had vanished from that public record and I never had any more cross ups with my name double.

I'll ask the same question Judy did. "Have you ever met or known of someone with your same name (who wasn't a relative) ?"