WISH I WERE SMARTER

Sometimes I amaze me but not in a good way. Did you ever do something that made you wonder how you actually made it this far in life? You suddenly realize that the word “DUH” was created just for you?? Ok, I am not a dunce, I only play one in real life.

What brought on this self flagellation?? Ok, I will tell you though I probably ought to just keep it between me and Mighty Dog but hay, you all pretty much know about my warts all ready. This is just one more wart.

With this brutal heat we have been having, all outdoor work has to be done early or not at all. So yesterday, I decided to mow around 9AM. Per usual, I checked the oil---good. So I cranked her up and proceeded to work on my vitamin D overload.

Now I have a little rear engine Snapper mower. These are amazingly tough little riders. The one I had in Florida was 18 years old when I left her for the new owners to enjoy. It was a sad parting for though she wasn't fast, she was steady.

When I got to Arkansas, I bought the new version of the very same model and it has done a great job on my hilly property.

I try to mow about every 4 or 5 days so I don't put a strain on the motor or leave dead grass trails. Something was amiss yesterday however. The trail I was leaving behind me was odd. One side of the mow path was the proper height, but the other side was totally scalped.

My yard was beginning to look like I was terrace farming with the strange looking paths carved into the hills. Also I was leaving tons of grass clippings on the scalping side.

Here is where DUH comes in. Did I stop to see why it was cutting so weird? Nope, I just kept on by raising the blade higher. That helped some. The scalping was no longer blatantly obvious but I also noticed that when I made a really sharp turn, the front wheels would leave the ground. That was really  unnerving but I kept right on mowing. Hay, I am woman, if it runs it can't be that bad of a problem.

Finally I finished mutilating my yard and went to put her away. I parked her on the porch of the shed and FINALLY looked to see what might be wrong. I adjusted the  lopsided deck drastically but there was still a one inch difference in the clearance on each side.

I had to grocery shop so I decided to work on it later. As I started out my drive away, I took one more look at the wounded machine and then I saw it. My left rear tire was totally flat. I had mowed a little over an acre on a flat tire. SUPER DUH.

It took an hour, a pound of dripping sweat, and a variety of make shift tools to remove the tire with the too tight lug nuts. It took an arsenal of cheaters to get it done. I may not be swift but I am determined.

The best thing about the day is when I took it to the station for a new tube. A darling teenage boy took it from me and started to work on it . These small tires are brutes to change the tubes. I had once watched a grown man mutter the air blue the last time.  I wanted to give the poor lad freedom to curse so I  went inside to wait, leaving him to wrestle the demon. 

Forty minutes later, he comes in the waiting room soaking wet but with a huge grin on his face. He said he was able to patch it and that my bill was only $5.35. I asked where the tire was and he said he had loaded it in my vehicle. Gosh I love this town. They are so kind to us dunces.

From now on, I will not only check the oil but I will also kick the tires before I start it up . See, I can too learn.

You ever have a situation that made you realize -- education  does not make one smart?