DAVID

Rerun from 3-09

As the new teller in the bank, I was subjected to pranks from the old timers like a rookie ball player. David was the favorite "new girl" prank.

I had been informed that this giant of a man would come in toting a large pillow case over his shoulder. I was told that David was sensitive to loud noises and if he came to my window, I should speak softly so as not to aggravate him. This was told to me in training and I thought it was perhaps an urban legend for I never saw anyone like that.

However, one day the doors burst open and in walked David. The description was totally accurate. Those tellers with a customer held on to them by grabbing them physically, while those with no one disappeared below counter or into the back room.   Quickly there stood Patti with the only open window.

David was about 6'5" and that was his slumped over height for he had dreadful posture. He wore badly wrinkled clothes that I am sure doubled for pajamas at night and he suffered from ferocious bed hair. His head hung down and he peaked at me through his thick eyebrows. 

I smiled, yes that cursed smile I can't help, and he shuffled over to my counter. He smiled back with intermittent yellow teeth showing through a bushy mustache that had stuff I didn't want to know about trapped in it. Oh boy.

I greeted him softly and he grunted something to me. Throwing the pillow case to the floor and rummaged through the bag. He pulled a bunch of strapped together pass books out of the bag and slapped them on the counter.

David had about 15 passbooks, about five of them I saw were ours. They were tied with what turned out to be an old jock strap.

They sat there and I sat there. Remembering my instructions, I softly asked him what I could do for him today. He got a quizzical look and leaned over the counter towards me. He was only threatening by his size as he made no overt move. I dropped my voice even lower as he leaned even closer to me.

Finally he said, " I want $50.00 out of the food book."

Not happy, I gingerly released the passbooks from the jock strap and looked for one that possibly said "Food Book". Yep, there was one and I was surprised that it contained a really hefty balance. I filled out a withdrawal slip and pushed it towards David softly asking for his signature.

He was beyond quizzical now and was getting irritated as he leaned almost all the way across the counter. He could have easily have helped himself to the money in my drawer. "Is that all the louder you can speak?" he growled. "I can't hear you."

I heard snickers and knew I had been played. So I cranked up the volume and David left the building with his money and retied pass books. 

Part of what happened that day to me was very funny. I laughed with the rest of them at my gullibility, but I did feel badly about not treating David with more respect.

The man obviously had limited mental capacities and what had been done to him was not cool for he was not in on the joke. 

From that day forward, I made it a point to always call David over to my window when he came in, speaking in a normal voice of course. I later learned he kept a small note book rating tellers from all his banks. I was oddly pleased to learn that I had recieved 4 stars.

Sadly David eventually ended up in jail. He attacked and hospitalized a cab driver disputing a $2.00 fare. The unfortunate thing is that David easily had over $20,000 in that pillow case.

David had a mother who was equally unusual. Guess who became her favorite teller?   But that is for another day. 

Were you ever victim of or instigator of a "new person" prank?