Wednesday, September 9, 2009


I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 pm.

Funny how the time frames for having fun and being awake have shrunken to that of an eight year old. No matter what time anyone calls me, their first question is, "Did I wake you?" Now if they call after 9:00 PM there is a good chance they did. But when they call at noon, I do get a bit hurt as I realize most people think I have no waking life at all. I hope it is because the older I get, the longer it takes my voice to get started, so if you startle me, I will always sound groggy.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying

Well, I am not really deaf yet but I am losing ground with my hearing. For the past 30 years,my right ear rings this monotonous tune day and night. Now if it could just throw in a few Beatles tunes or a little Barry White. Normally I can ignore the noise, but since we are now talking about it, I am aware of a full blown factory whistle. It thrives on attention. When I am more aware of possible diminishing hearing is when I am constantly messing with the volume button on the remote. Raising the volume for the actors who now days seem to do the Brando mumble more, then rapidly hitting the mute button for commercials. Why are they so LOUD?

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

Now this is ridiculous. Without Tylenol PM, I awake exactly 4 hours after I go to sleep and that is it. No more sleep for Patti. Outside of having to fill the remaining 4 hours in the dark part of the day, I really feel pretty good with only 4 hours sleep. I just know that this isn't right so I seek the magic bullet. With the Tylenol, it is a solid eight hours but I resent that drug being in my body. Any hint besides warm milk (barf), I am open to.

I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...

Think that is one reason I started blogging. Now my stories are in print so I can just access my "search this blog" gadget to see if I have all ready told that story. It is great having them in print. No wondering if I am doing the dreaded rerun. Feel free to remind me in the comments if I slip up and repeat.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

Yep, I lose things and sometimes they just seem to vanish off the earth but my rational mind knows that isn't true. I don't have a big house so there aren't really that many hiding places. Yet for brief periods---they are not inside these four walls. Then the gremlin that made them invisible in the first place, will just as suddenly make them reappear, often in a spot I had just looked. Not sure whether to blame the mind or the eyes.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

Liver spots appear and spider veins play tag.
Weight adds with ease while the stature sags
Eyes squint to read impossible print
A rolling gait replaces the sprint

Youths fear colds, hangovers and sprain
Age worries about an addled brain
No shame now to be in bed by nine
Without Beano, we dare not dine

All is not lost with this aging body of mine
I have gained many gifts along with time
I am wiser, more patient and kinder than the young
White hair makes even the impatient hold their tongue

Senior discounts and paychecks without a job
It is just too darn bad about corn on the cob
Doors are opened for me with a warm sweet smile
Think I will just enjoy this age for awhile

Sorry folks that is my first and last venture into rhyme. I really can eat corn on the cob, just needed something to go with "job". As you can tell, I haven't progressed past the the"roses are red" school of thought.

Have a good day. I plan to.


  1. Are you sure these are only Senior Joys cause I think there are some similarities !!! Wink !! :D

    Loved your li`l rhyme Patti :) Superbly written as usual.

    Btw, in my mother-tongue (which is an Indian language Tamil), Patti means grand-mom. Oh no, I ain't telling you to tell you its apt or anything. I was always curious to know why you call yourself Arkansas Patti. Pray enlighten me!

  2. You started my day off with a smile. I sure can relate! I think you did a great job with your poem.
    Sunny :)

  3. Patti.......I LOVE YOUR WRITING! I can so relate. I often find myself in a room and can't remember why I went there. My memory bins are room for new information. If I have to memorize one more account # or pin # I will have to forget my address. Thanks for starting my day with a grin.

  4. I relate to all...After my doctor visit yesterday. This doctor does try to practice "preventive" medicine, the hot button phrase of the day. She is a primary care physician for whom I have a lot of respect. Still on rare occasions makes housecalls to housebound patients.

    But on a soon to be 73 yr old, what is there to prevent? I have another phrase for treating old age: "reactive" medicine.

    Have a ear infection..thank goodness without pain--just tinnitus and near deafness. She gave me a sample and return appt.

    Reactive practice, especially return appt....seems like that is all I do. And if there was such a thing as preventing earaches, it should have been accomplished in childhood on me!

  5. Been there, done that, still doing most and loved the poem. Yes, when the family is all here and I get tired of hearing all the noise, I pop out the hearing aids, put them in my shirt pocket and just smile a lot.

    By the way, I got myself a pair of ear phones for listening to the TV. I got tired of my family telling me I had it too loud, and when it was turned down to make it better for them, I couldn't hear it and I fell asleep. It was the best invested I ever made. I can watch TV with the family at their setting and turn my ear phones louder. They are wonderful. Because believe me, the hearing aids don't work that well for the TV.

  6. You make it sound so exciting I can hardly wait to get older. I hadn't noticed your search widget before. What a neat idea. I added it to my blog.

    An Arkies Musings

  7. Ha, ha... Patti! Are you sure you mentioned your senior joys? I thought for a moment they are mine! Especially this one:"When I am more aware of possible diminishing hearing is when I am constantly messing with the volume button on the remote. Raising the volume for the actors who now days seem to do the Brando mumble more, then rapidly hitting the mute button for commercials. Why are they so LOUD?" Exactly my problem as well! Thanks Patti for this great post!

  8. Hello,
    Popped by via Old Lady Lincoln, you sure gave me a smile with your posts, so I shall be back.

    Love Granny

  9. lostworld
    Ah but you are such a puppy surely nothing applies to you---yet.
    Love my name in Tamil, that is really interesting.
    I am Arkansas Patti for there are a lot of women named Patti in bloggerville and that is just to distinguish me from all the others. Also, I now live in Arkansas.

    Thanks, the poem was a fun exercise and out of my comfort zone which is always good.

    Thank you so much."If I have to memorize one more account # or pin # I will have to forget my address." That explaines so much, thanks.

    I loved,"But on a soon to be 73 yr old, what is there to prevent?" You have a valid point. All that is left for us now is "patch, patch."

    Gooood idea about unplugging in a noisy situation. Just keep smiling. The TV boosters would make my sister happy as her husband drives her to distraction with the high volumne. Making note.

    Aw you whippersnappers make me laugh. Don't blink, it comes on very quickly.
    That is a cool gadget isn't it? It is handy if you want to link back to a past post.

    Reader Wil,
    Thanks, it really helps not feeling alone in this strange new world we are now in. I'm afraid they are pretty common "joys" aren't they.

    4th Sister
    --always trying--

    Granny on the Web,
    Welcome to TNS and for the kind comments. I have crossed the pond to visit you and all ready stolen one of you links for a future post. Will be sure to give you credit.

  10. Cute post, Patti, and I can relate to so many of them. One funny story comes to mind when thinking about not hearing... My father-in-law cannot hear well--even with a hearing aid. My mother-in-law hears JUST fine... They argue constantly about the volume on the TV. Dad can't hear it --and Mom says it is TOO loud...

    Aren't we jut the luckiest people in the world to be part of the OLDER generation now???? I wouldn't go back and do it again for anything. I LOVE my life right now.

    Thanks for a great post.

  11. Betsy,
    Check out Patty's comment, it may solve your mother-in-law's problem. She said hearing aids don't work with TV but those earphones do.
    Oh yeah, I wouldn't trade my arthritis for the anxiety of youth any day.

  12. You describe aging so perfectly. I am couple of years behind you, but I definitely see the writing on the wall-- at least I used to, when I could see.

    I have found with tinnitus (ringing in the ears), that you can "muffle" the sound by listening to a little music. It is a great distraction.

  13. robin,
    Sooo sorry you have tinnitus also. Usually I don't notice it unless i think about it. I generally have some sort of white noise going to tone it down but you are so right about music. That is the best way.

  14. You have expressed your feelings so beautifully that I am totally speechless. Absolutely mind-blowing post. Infact there is lot of time left for me to reach 60 but the way you have written is very interesting. I enjoy reading your each and every post.

  15. Enjoyed your poem and post! Four hours of sleep is not very much! Eating bananas, whole grain crackers, brown rice, cottage cheese, tuna, turkey, nuts or yogurt in the evening might help as they are all high in tryptophan which promotes sleep. My brother has Meniere’s that causes ringing in his ears - he has been able to eliminate it through a small change in diet. Have you heard of Menier’s?

  16. Thank you so much Babli. I really liked visiting your blog also. I love learning about another culture and you are very informative.

    Yep, I have heard of Meniere’s but fear I just have garden variety tinnitis with no vertigo. Annoying but livable with. This has gone on over 30 years.
    I have tried turkey which does put me right to sleep. I have never had a problem going to sleep. Turkey just won't let me STAY asleep which IS my problem. Probably shouldn't fight it and just attach those 4 daily hours to my lifespan which would add over 60waking days a year. Even in my youth, I only averaged 5 hours nightly.

  17. I agree with and sympathize with everything you say here. I don't notice my ringing ears until someone brings them up. Now, they are singing a sonata for me!!

  18. Cheffie Mom
    Great play on words. Thanks.

    Well you got even, now mine are ringing. They really are attention whores aren't they?