Friday, September 3, 2010

SPLAT TWO

I want to thank all of you who showed concern about my “spill.” First off, I am much better thank you sooooo much and thought I'd give you a quick run down of this newly uncoordinated blogger.

Not too long ago, I took a spill while taking my morning walk. Spills are a new venture I've decided to take so for me at least, they seemed blog worth. The first time I was gawking at nature, I stepped in a hole and said a quick hello to the side of the road. It mainly resulted in wounded pride and a scraped knee.

Well I did it again. Blog buddy Patty, also known as Old Lady Lincoln, wondered if my Skecher Tone Up shoes turned on me. I wish I had that for an excuse. Actually, Monday I had gotten in the car to go somewhere, got half way there when I realized I had forgotten something.


Calling my self a few derogatory terms that center around being old and senile, I went back home to get the forgotten item. In haste, I ignored the proper way to enter my porch and took a short cut through the shrubs to save a minute. Well that cost me a bunch of minutes.

Exactly what went wrong, I don't know for sure. Some people say that when they fall, it is all in slow motion. My pratfalls tend to be measured in nanoseconds. The only thing I was really sure of was that I apparently decided to whip the porch floor into submission with my nose. Yep, my nose. I landed square on my beezer , felt it flatten and was quite surprised that it could do that. I was a little embarrassed that my breasts made no effort to cushion the fall. In my case sadly, nose trumps breasts.

I rolled to my side and realized I pretty much hurt all over but primarily my nose had my attention. Blood poured out as I got to my feet to check all parts. My left wrist hurt a little as it had probably tried to catch me but it must have decided , "Aw, let the nose take this one."

Same old knee from Splat One, was once again minus flesh. Then I noticed my ankle was not happy with me either. Still, once I stopped the nose bleed, I was OK, not good but OK. All moving parts—moved. So I got what I came back for and went where I had originally planned to go. It took about an hour for the full effect to set in.

I have in my lifetime broken my nose twice and am well aware of that particular pain. This was not a good pain but I was pretty sure it wasn't broken. Broken nose pain is blinding. This wasn't.


One thing you can't do with a broken nose is laugh, it hurts too much. When I came home, I got a bit tickled with myself as I surveyed the crime scene. As I envisioning the sight I must have made falling, I had to smile a bit. Then wondering ironically if maybe this time I was able to straighten out my formerly off kilter nose( it usually listed to the left), caused me to laugh and laughter didn't hurt—ah ha-- no broken nose--just a really sore one.

As the day progressed, the wrist was feeling neglected so it swelled and made typing really uncomfortable. Not good for a blogger. The ankle wanting in on the action, also swelled and insisted I walk funny. Pretty soon I was wondering where the He*l my blankety-blank walker was.

The good thing is that after a few days with some terrific pain pills plus following RICE ( Rest, Ice Compression and Elevate) almost to the letter ( I was negligent with the ice) I am much better. But the best thing is that considering the force that I fell, I didn't break anything. That pretty much takes Osteoporosis off my fear list.

So I am back, a little battered, but functional and maybe with a straight nose for the first time since I was 16 years old. Life is so good.

Thank you so much for your caring. I'm sure by next week I'll be good as new with a possibly straighter nose. I've said it before and will say it again, you all are the best.


THOSE OF YOU IN THE PATH OF EARL, PLEASE STAY SAFE.

37 comments :

  1. Oh my goodness Patti! I hurt all over just reading your post. I'm so glad you are feeling better, take care.
    ☼ Sunny

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  2. Well be careful, very careful. Also just because you didn't break something doesn't mean you couldn't have the start of osteoporosis. They can find that in a bone scan. Take it easy over the week-end.

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  3. @##$$(*&&^%%^$#@ {These stand for language learned in my years as A Navy wife and also a post Navy pharmacist boss, who really had a slew of them)

    I thought I was mistress of the non-vertical position!

    WIth my knees came the admonition to carry cane which I don' do. Why did I go to that misery to be burdened with a cane? my reasoning.

    Than I can't loan you my walker because my husband unwittingly loaned it to a dying needy veteran. His heirs unwitingly did not return it but donated in his name to VFW. Now I have to buy one of the expensive things because Medicare will only pay for one in a lifetime.

    Now with this atrial arrhymia it seems a certain unbalance and lightheadeness has arrived. I stepped backward in the shower yesterday and nearly fell.

    Isn't old age full of weird things along with the expected?

    Prayers for quick, fast, recovery, especially the nose. I hate nosebleeds. I think I am going to bleed to death. EMT personnel tell me total volume is less than 1/4 cup. I think they lie.

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  4. This post made me laugh and smile. I admire you for being able to tell of your spill in such a hilarious way. I know you had to have had been in some pain for awhile. Sure glad to hear you are on the mend and doing better. No more spills, okay? Keep getting better and hope to hear you are back 100% very soon. Hugs

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  5. Patti - Glad you are feeling better. Sounds like it was a spectacular fall and I am glad you are not broken.

    Earl appears to be taking a turn and, for those of us who enjoy storms, has the potential to be disappointing.

    Watch your step!

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  6. I thought I was the clumiest person around but you just might beat me. :) blessings, marlene

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  7. Dear Patti, I am glad you had nothing broken. In spite of the scary experience you haven't lost your sense of humour. Your great!
    I don't fully understand the expression:
    "THOSE OF YOU IN THE PATH OF EARL, PLEASE STAY SAFE."
    But I presume it's some kind of warning! I shall google it!
    You take care!

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  8. I googled it. It's the pending hurricane, which is bad enough! I thought it was one of the American expressions only for insiders not for foreigners like me! LOL.
    Strangely enough we have had some tornadoes too lately.

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  9. Hi Patti, i am so sorry... I know that had to have HURT horribly. I have such a fear of falling. Luckily, it hasn't happened to me often. One time I fell on mud when we were hiking...

    Please take care of yourself.
    Hugs and Prayers,
    Betsy

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  10. Sorry I missed wishing you healing on the first go round. I don'tknow how I missed that one. But feel better on the second one. Bless your heart. I play fall "down go boom" frequently so I can relate. Crime scene...yep I also can relate. Left in a hurry one day after a crash and burn session and SM came home to the said scene and freaked. When I came hobbling in a few minutes later he was incensed that I had just left with no note or warning. I laughed too but I do understamd the concern...Be well, be careful and be aware you are too too funny and I love it. The Olde Bagg

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  11. That sounds like quite a fall, patti. Really a good thing that you didn't break anything. I like your "rice" treatment. I'm going to remember that one. I tend to do "rie" without the "c"-- so I'll add it!

    Take care and be well.

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  12. Oh my gosh ... and I thought I was the only one who was falling and tripping up these days. You hang in there and keep it on the uprights!

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  13. Sunny,
    Good to hear from you and thanks so much. Sure wish you would start posting again. You are too good not to.
    Doing better.thanks.

    Patty,
    That is true. However I avoid the test because I really hate taking meds and just recently they discovered the Osteo meds have a cancer link. Cheese Louise.

    nitwit,
    Think I used a few of those as I picked my self up.
    I really hope they get your meds adjusted. You have really had a go lately. Might not hurt to get a chair for your shower till things settle down.
    Maybe the VFW has a walker to spare, that probably belongs to someone else. Good luck.

    Mumsy,
    Thanks so much. I do believe laughter helps all ills. Knowing the pain is temporary, makes it bearable.

    Barry,
    Thanks Barry. Know how you feel about a good storm. That along with angry seas, is beautiful to watch. It is only when I became a property owner did I get more cautious.
    I'll rephrase--hope you get enough of the storm for intrest and no damage.

    Stitchinbythelake,
    Good to know I am not alone. I have always been someone able to trip on pavement, just when I was younger, I caught myself before I hit the ground. Think my reactions are off.

    Reader Wil,
    Thanks so much. There aren't too many occasions that happen to me that I can't find somewhat funny. There is always a worst case sceanerio that makes what happens to me seem not so bad.
    Sorry about Earl. If I had just said Hurricane Earl, you would have known. Glad you found the answer. You stay safe from the tornados.

    Betsy,
    The older we get, the more it becomes a threat. As long as we keep bouncing, I guess we are all right.
    Have a fun and safe weekend.

    Linda in NM
    Don't feel badly. The event occured after I posted. I put the add on in the afternoon so those that commented in the AM knew nothing about it.
    Glad you can see the humor in our spills. Crying just ruins the mascara.

    robin,
    RICE really works on sprains. I am pretty wimpy about the ice though. I think that hurts worse than the sprain. Compression really helps however. Hope you never need it.

    mel,
    I don't think we are much alone in this. When younger, we just looked foolish but didn't go down. Now days it seems a face in the dirt is more possible.
    Thanks, you too.

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  14. Bummer, Patty,
    I thought it was hand only (but bad enough) and there were other battle scars. Hitting a nose is pretty scary, too.

    Thanks for coming over and learning a couple of bad words. We may have more. ha

    A grand weekend.
    Manzanita

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  15. Patti, the sad thing about our age is how long it takes us to heal - that's if we don't end up in a nursing home. You seem to have done well considering all the damage you managed to do to yourself.
    Be careful, woman!!!!!

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  16. I'm glad you are better. I live in fear of falling. It would take a crane to get me up!

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  17. Oh my, I have such a fear of falling. I think we lose some of our stability as we age. I think that's why they encourage resistence/strength training, to stabilize our balance.

    I'm such a fraidy cat I seldom take my eye off the ground.

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  18. So sorry Patti, I guess I commented before you added the paragraph about falling, this is the first time back to read of it. My nose hurts, just thinking of you falling on yours. Lucky you were not to have broken anything. No more short cuts anyhere, I bet!
    Take care...Wanda

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  19. I know it can happen in a second! I fell down my stairs at Christmas last year, had surgery, etc. What a mess, and I still don't really know how it happened. Glad your bumps and bruises are healing. I'm also in the club where the boobs wouldn't be the first to break a face-first fall! I'm livin' right there with ya'!

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  20. you''ve really got to slow down, you must be tryig to do too much and your mind must be preoccupied to be falling like that, at leastr that's how it happens for me, so glad you are a - ok and getting better.

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  21. You always seem to bounce back....one tough cookie, you are!!
    I whined for a while when I tripped over the dog and hurt my wrists on the counter and it jammed my shoulder....Best time I fell was off a dumpster...I got my foot on the small lip between the top and bottom part of the stupid thing. Flew the garbage bag over the top..when I tried to let a foot down to the ground, the ground was farther down than it was going up....Next thing I saw was the Carolina Blue Sky and I was flat on my back looking up...I heard my shoulder and the back of my head hit...First thought was, "Oh, I have fallen and I can't get up" then I knew I had to get up or lay there forever....Concussion and hurt pride....I mended....only to years later taking a 5 step fall downstairs landing on my "!!!" on concrete with L leg up under R leg.....this time I am not doing as well as the other times....just living with it and I, like you, don't do the medical route....they are "practicing" medicine...I want someone who KNOWS what to do, not practice....LOL
    Have a great day....Love your posts...

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  22. Oh, Patti!!! I'm so, so sorry!!! Will pray for a speedy recovery!!! Sending you much love, and gentle hugs!!! Janine xx

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  23. Dare I say it? Perhaps your breasts cushioned the fall and kept your nose from breaking. Just wanted to identify another potential positive (other than nose straightening) from the incident.

    It's wonderful that you can see and express the humor in this, in spite of the pain.

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  24. Manzanita,
    It was the alternative to bad words I enjoyed so much on your blog.
    Thank you.

    marciamayo,
    It does take longer doesn't it? I'm still sore but were I in my 20s, I'd be like new by now.
    Think I will be more careful--thanks.

    betty,
    Had to laugh at your reference. I wanted to take a tub bath to soak all the aches but like you, it would have taken a crane to get me OUT of the tub.

    Linda,
    I have been working on my balance. It is true, we stumbled as youngsters, the main difference is that we caught ourselves and just didn't fall. Ah the joys of aging.

    Wanda,
    Thanks and don't feel badly, several commented before I put the add on about the spill. Trust me, it will be the long way around from now on.

    Deb,
    Oh my, you really took a bad one. Hope you are completely better now. Welcome to the useless breasts club:))

    Linda Starr,
    Just being careless and still thinking I can leap like a 20 year old seem to be my down FALL. Thanks, getting better each day.

    Sandy,
    Good grief, you really have worked yourself over. I am so sorry you are not recovering from that last one. I do believe in doctors, I just don't run to one willy nilly.
    Thanks and I hope you do get some help with those legs.

    Sniffles and Smiles,
    Thank you so much Janine. Good to hear from you and hope your book is going well. Admire your finally biting the bullet and just doing it.

    Jerry,
    Yes you can "dare say" and I like the way you think. That is a much better take on the situation. Thanks so much.

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  25. LOL, LOL...You have the most wonderful way of putting things Patti....I loved your line about your nose giving "What-For" to the floor....And I DO hope you get a straighter nose out of this---you certainly went yhrough a lot to hopefully achieve that....LOL!
    I must say, it does sound like a really bad fall, and I guess you are really lucky you didn't break anything. Keep getting better and better, my dear.

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  26. Please be careful! Fortunately you didn't hurt anything that will keep you from blogging. :)


    An Arkies Musings

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  27. I am feeling a little guilt for laughing so hard at your misfortune. But seriously, I only laughed because you wrote it in such a way that caused the laughter. Can I blame you for that? Hmmm...I just did. You are a delight! I do hope this ends all falls and misfortunes.

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  28. Oh sweetie you be careful. My kiddos have joked about gettin' me a 'I've fallen and can't get up device' I go full throttle and go down frequently. Mostly in the winter though when I'm so padded with clothes I just bounce right back up! heehehehehe!

    God bless ya and have an incredible Labor Day weekend!!!

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  29. OOLOH
    So glad I gave you a chuckle Naomi. That helps to take the sting out.
    Doing much better thank you.

    richie,
    Thanks so much. I was blogless for a little bit with my one finger typing but am back up and running now.

    Grayquill,
    Like I told Naomi, if you got a laugh GQ, then that is better than asprin for me.
    I am about ready however for a few days being a bit more graceful.

    Nezzy,
    Oh I do love winter padding, Wonder why I can't fall then?? Summer clothes leaves too much skin exposed.
    Luckily so far when I have hit the turf, it is outside in front of God and everyone.

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  30. I hope you're feeling better now. Glad you didn't do any permanent damage (other than straightening your nose). Please be careful - next time you may not be as lucky.

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  31. Glad to hear your feeling better. Here was I thinking I was the Splat Queen, but you've topped me this time for sure. Take care, and have a restful weekend.

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  32. One thing is for sure, your spill did not damage your sense of humour.
    Hope all damaged bits get back to normal soon.

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  33. Hi Arkansas Patti - I just found your blog, and I'm glad you're on the mend after your spill. A while back I walked out of my front door to take my dog on a walk and he got so excited he slipped out of his collar. I started running after him and tripped and landed flat on my face on our cement driveway. I had a swollen face for days, but nothing broken. But I was so surprised at how long it took me to heal everywhere. Your post made me laugh, but I know how sore you must be. Take care. (Oh, and my dog, who had been ready to lead me on a merry chase, came right back.)

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  34. Sweet Virginia Breeze,
    Thanks and I do feel like I dodged a bullet. I just don't bounce like I used to.

    Brighid,
    Ah ha, another splater. Think we ought to start a club?
    Thanks, I am doing just that.

    Friko,
    Well if the humor gets damaged, I don't think there is a pill for that. Laughter really works better than aspirin.
    Thanks, getting closer each day.

    Ellen,
    Thanks so much for stopping by TNS. Always glad to hear from my home state.
    Your fall sounded painful and unnecessary also. That it took you a while to heal gives me hope.
    I was getting a bit discouraged at my slow progress. Thanks.

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  35. Oh Patti, your NOSE!!! OUCH!!! However, congratulations on the nose job. :)

    This is weird. I just sat down to write a post on forgetting things, being clumsy, etc. Last week my husband and I had to make so many round trips for things we forgot that it reached absurdity.

    Today I went to squat down for something and my knees said NO!!!! Ordinarily I would blame all of this on aging, but I'm thinking it's all due to EARL.

    You get A for effort and I hope you'll get a U for upright soon!

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  36. you make me laugh and my nose doesn't hurt so that's a good thing

    even when you get yourself into painful situations you tell the best story!!

    slow down a bit and be just a bit more careful, please

    and keeping RICEing - it's good for you

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  37. marylee,
    Hay, anything we can hang on Earl, the better.
    Someday I will add up all the gas and energy I waste on return trips.
    We are not in an exclusive club I fear.

    Dianne,
    So glad for both of those things for you.
    RICE is nice and effective. Thanks.

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