Monday, April 4, 2011


 Are there things better than sex? Isn't there a “better than sex” cake? Somehow “cake”, even BTSC, has never done it for me. Also, I'm not sure about the “better than” status but I am sure there are a lot of things “as good as or almost as good as.”

Considering my age and single status, these are some of mine, real and imagined, in no particular order.

1. Having your doctor give you a thumbs up after a tedious treatment.

2. A deep, prolonged belly laugh.

3. Owning and riding a motorcycle while just a smidgen afraid. Super thrill ride.

4. Experiencing an amazing massage that has no time limit. The masseur will stop only when you say “stop” and he will keep supplying fresh towels to mop up your drool. This is in the imagined category.

5. Unwrapping a present and finding it is much more than you would have even dared to wish for.

6. Watching the needle on the bathroom scales finally stop on your weight loss goal number. Been there once and am heading back--- hopefully.

7. Completely forgiving someone who wronged you in the past. This really is a huge “high”.

8. Being in Oprah's “favorite things” audience. Am I too late for that? Again, imagined.

9. Of course at my age, a really good, daily bowel movement is right up there.

10. Last but not least and the purpose of the post is; meeting someone whom you can have verbal intercourse with. And no, I do not mean talking dirty.

In groups, I am primarily a listener. I sit back like a spider enjoying the conversation flow, will throw out a pertinent one liner, then climb back onto my watchful web enjoying the scene.

One on one, I am much more verbal. Then on rare delightful occasions, I meet the perfect mind and a delightful fencing match begins. Since there is a degree of mental flirting involved which adds to the experience, you could call it intellectual foreplay.

 Sadly, I wouldn't hesitate if he all ready belonged to someone else.  After all, it is only mental and rarely goes beyond the moment.  Sometimes it is with a stranger who enters your life briefly,  which I guess makes it a mental one night stand.

It can be with a like minded person but sometimes opposites are equally stimulating. What is important is that you both feel it. You crawl inside each others skull and share space. The exchange is open and free.

Serious topics can be invigorating but what I really enjoy is when I find someone with a similar funny bone and a “laugh off” begins. You feed off each others humor and it rapidly escalates.

What he says delights and makes you laugh while your response does the same for him. You crack each other up while non participating spectators may not see the humor at all. You just "get" each other. What might elevate this to a "better than" status is that it can be done fully clothed in a crowded room.

Those people are never forgotten and just the mention of their names or recalling their image can make you smile. This playful mental sparring to me is the best of the best—well maybe tied for first with the good daily bowel movement. Age does change our viewpoints I fear.

Is there anything for you that is “ as good as” sex or are you quite content with sex being the superior entertainment ?


  1. Conversation with someone, mae or female, who enjoys like topics, or mental sparrng are close o the top of m list.

  2. Love your list and the daily bowel movement made me laugh. And laughing is one of my favorite things to do in the "as good as" category.

    I would add, sitting anywhere by a body of water listening to bird song.

  3. These days there are lots of things better than sex. Of course, I don't quite remember what sex was.

  4. When I was young, I had plenty of sex. As I've gotten older, I find it rather ho-hum in terms of excitement. I've always found skydiving to be better than sex, and now, even that has lost its initial charm. Of course, after 4,000+ skydives, it's the frequency I guess that causes boredom.

    I must say that a great massage is right up there for me. And intellectual stimulation still does it! Good post, Patti, thanks!

  5. I think a good foot rub or a facial equals it for me. That might not have been true in my younger years, but a lot of sex is overrated, especially as you age.

    About 25 years ago, we met a couple from out of town at wedding festivities for the daughter of friends. We sat at a table with them, and it was as if we had known each other for decades - and we almost cried (the women) when the evening was over, knowing we would never see each other again. How sad is that?! I felt like a piece of me was leaving.

  6. I have always found thinking about 'it' more enjoyable than the doing of it ~ but may be I haven't met the right bloke. Yet...

  7. Waking up in the Rockies...mmmmmm

  8. Whoever made up that cake recipe really flattered herself. It isn't that good. However, it did tickle me when the preacher's wife submitted it for the church cookbook.

    Wasn't there a survey that said a large percentage of women would rather be cuddled than have sex?

    Okay, here's mine.... I get a rush when I step outside early on these spring mornings to get the newspaper. The dogwoods and azaleas are blooming, the grass is a brilliant green that contrasts with the chartreuse green of the new growth on the trees. The birds are singing, the breeze is cool and sweetly scented. Nature's perfection! Then, a minute later, my ears clog, my eyes burn, and my sinuses begin a drumbeat right between my eyes.

    Maybe you're right. A bowel movement IS pretty darned satisfying.

  9. My, risque, Patti. I'll have to think about this one and get back to you.

  10. I think I'd have to rate chocolate pretty high on the "almost as good as" list. In fact, at my age it just might be at the top of the list. :D Second would probably be a good laugh. I love laughing. Your number 9 is too funny! Loved this post, Patti. Have a great week.

  11. Patti, This is one of the funniest posts. I was LMAO. I"ll just take #9 as my number one and only.

    Now, I just want to have fun with the girls. i remember a Golden Girls where Dorathy had a boy friend but Blanch and Rose were having so much fun she broke up with him so she could be with the girls.
    Have a fun day...

  12. I had to laugh at #9. I definitely agree that enjoying talking to someone is very special.

  13. What a hoot! I love this post.

    This quote is the best description I've heard for intellectual exchange, "crawl inside each others skull and share space."

  14. Patti,

    Still love the sex, but it is with my husband who "gets" me and cracks me up. When you talked about the gift that was more than I could wish for, it was my "new" camera two years ago, when I already had one that was pretty good. It gratified me that he thought what I was doing with my photos should be encouraged even more.

    Thanks so much for this post, Patti. It helped me to reflect on how lucky that I am. I understand what you mean by a great conversation, and that is awful cool when that happens too.

    Have a wonderful Monday!

    Kathy M.

  15. Hi Patti, About 12 yrs. ago (after being divorced for many years), I would have thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life.... As I aged, I began to get lonely and wondered if there was a 'companion' out there for me. I wasn't the least bit interested in sex--but just wanted someone to travel with...

    WELL--in 2001 I met George.. You know the rest of my story. Sex? Fabulous... Companionship?? Wonderful!! I feel like I have it ALL --and am one blessed woman.

    Back from vacation --trying to catch up a little!!!!

  16. You always have something wonderful to say, I'd say the conversation does it for me and the humor.

  17. Chocolate and peanut butter ice cream came to mind but I rarely eat it do to the scale exploding so I will have to go with the scale too.

  18. Speak of the frisson of fear associated with mental jousting or riding something sleek and hard. You could fall off and break a bone or something. Dianne

  19. I so agree with you on many of the things you listed---The Good BM being top of that list at my age now...(The brink of 80)

    And back-in-the-day, when I was painting or writing or composing---there were times when the incredible feeling of loosing oneself in the act of creating, was--somertimes---Better Than Sex!
    Truly!! It was right up there!
    Some men I know didn't agree with that, but that was my experience....It was euphoric, at times....And sometimes I couldn't wait to get home from wherever so I could go back to whatever I was in the middle of creating--be it a painting or a play or a song....!

    I love this poat Patti....because it covers so much of the excitement of life in every way....A truly stimulating coversation with like minded people---man or woman, can be such a turn on....!

  20. #9 had me laughing so hard I scared the cats! Your list is fantastic!

  21. You had me laughing, and that is good for the body and soul. Better than sex...hmmmm Which decade are we talking about when we do the comparison?

  22. Nitwit,
    Me too, especially at this age. The persons sex is unimportant, the exchange is what counts.

    RV Vagabonds,
    Laughter relieves stress, reduces pain, aids digestion, elevates mood and is just plain fun. Have to agree with you.

    If I didn't have a overdeveloped memory for things long ago and far away, I'd be in the boat with you:))

    I just knew skydiving would be on your list. Sorry that has become a wee bit jaded for you but I can see where 4000 times would take the edge off.

    Seems you and the Mr. had a one night stand with those people. Think you ought to hunt them up on face book and reconnect.

    Hope that bloke is right around the corner. It does take the right one:))

    Never had that pleasure but maybe I should.

    You do make me laugh. I sometimes get clobbered by nature also. Remember BMs don't have side effects

    Let me know if you do think of something.

    Wow, just think if you got the giggles while eating chocolate.

    I do remember that show. Laughing and having fun with good friends is tops or at least a close tie to #9.

    We do totally agree on that one.

    Thanks so much. Glad you liked it.
    True isn't it?

    Oregon gifts,
    You have definitely found a keeper. What a neat thing to do. Give him another hug right now for that cool camera.

    You are proof positive that one can have it all if you will wait and not settle. So happy for you and George both.

    Linda Starr,
    Thank you. That is a wonderful combination and can actually be done in public no less.

    Oops, I haven't tried peanut butter ice cream and something tells me I should keep it that way if I ever want my scales to smile at me.

    You were referring to my motorcycle weren't you:))

    I hadn't thought of that Naomi but for a creative person like you, I can see where it would create an actual high.
    Yes, the conversations can be just as stimulating with a woman. That is the beauty of it.

    Well that cracked me up for I can so relate. My pets also get concerned when I get the giggles.

  23. Retired English Teacher,
    Oops you came in while I was commenting.
    Now that is funny for which decade would result in a very different answer. I'm thinking right now. A BM wouldn't have made the cut in my
    younger years.

  24. I always thought that great friendships with good sharing and good talks with my girlfriends were very good indeed. Sex is good too, of course, but was so much more important when one was young. A clean bill of health gets to feel increasingly good. And a good book, a really good book, is heaven for me.--Inger

  25. I like that you tell it like it is, Pattie! Somehow cake and sex don't stand on quite the same rung of the ladder for me. (However, I won't say which is higher...)

  26. Loved the list! Real and imagined!

  27. HAHAHAHA ... my tummy hurts. This post is hilarious, Patti. Especially the good daily bowel movement... I shouldn't laugh because it IS true--!

    Thanks for stopping by and for your nice comment!


  28. Geez, if this keeps up I'll be plumb out of Sweet Potato Queens Revirgination Kits before the end of the day. Yours is in the mail.

  29. Dear Patti, thank you for your nice helpful comment on my blog! So I came here and really renjoyed your post, also all the comments to it! I like the good laugh and the sparkling conversation! Thanks for this, I`ll be thinking about it longer!

  30. I need to work on the forgiveness part. I do love a good belly laugh. A good bowel movement works for me too. :-)

  31. Ohhkayyy!!! :) All points noted.

    Let me get back to you in some years! :)))

  32. Canyon Girl,
    I do believe how old we are would totally effect the type of answers we would give.

    I guess it would depend on the quality of the cake and the quality of the sex to determine which rung.

    I Wonder Wye,
    Thanks so much.

    Hold my hand,
    Glad I found your funny bone. We do have to laugh about things we can't control.

    Well I had to look that up. Might have to check out her book.
    As for "revirgination", pretty sure I have accomplished that:))

    Thanks, me too. I see where you seemed to have solved the problem. It sure was aggrivating wasn't it.

    Take my word for it. Forgiveness is the most freeing thing we can do. Anger held only hurts us, the person we are angry with is blissfully totally unaware.

    In about 50 years, you are going to burst out laughing as you realize what that old lady was talking about so long ago:))
    Always love to hear from you.

  33. Patti, this is a riot. I giggled through half and nodded through the rest. Tough to beat sex, I have to admit. LOL I'll have to think about this one...

  34. Such funny post and comments..trying to decide who was serious and who was joking.
    I popped in to tell you I've been doing much more reading of blogs than commenting on them.

  35. Patti,
    I know that space is there but I don't know how to get rid of it without redoing the whole thing. Do you know??? If I do re do it will I lose the comments????? I'm such a non-techie.

  36. Interesting post, Patti! I shall think about it! I'll never talk about sex: it's private.

  37. Lisa,
    Thanks.Glad you got a laugh.
    Not sure there are many things that would totally take it off most peoples #1. That is why I had to settle for "almost as good as."

    Miss Dazey,
    I have missed your posting and commenting. Glad you could stop by. Like you, I think these comments are such fun.

    I haven't a clue. I have been wrestling with blogger myself. Not fun.

    Reader Wil,
    Good counsel wil.

  38. Wonderful post! Waking up in the morning and not having to get up yet.

    A square of dark chocolate.

    Clearly, I'm of a certain age!

  39. I'm sitting with 8 female teachers in the faculty lounge eating what was offered to me as "Robert Redford Cake". They seemed to be enjoyed my take on it. How good is it they asked laughing. Much tittering. I didn't know what was so funny. Then they asked the final question. Would you say it was better than...... More hilarity. :)

  40. Linda Myers,
    YES !!! That morning thing is right up there.

    Aw,tee hee, you were set up by a bunch of women. I'll bet this is not a subject men spend much time on.

  41. OMG I would have really been upset if I had not scrolled down to this post and read it. hahaha
    Yep you don't forget those kind of meetings and it is for the life I am leading now just to sit and remember those moments. I had a friend one time where he and I could laugh for hours but we were only friends.
    Now for me it is being able to find a hour or two where I can just write ...
    Love ya

  42. Grandmayellowhair,
    Aw phooey, sounds like you let him get away. You just don't forget those special ones, do you?

  43. Anticipation seems to be a key to finding a way to feel the high and these days my list keeps growing as my memory keeps dwindling but I don't get to realize the finale that often. Guess the term frigid is solidifying in me but often I'm too numb to know it. Glad that laughter can heal it all and blogs are so good for that!!
    COOL post :D

  44. Kleinstemotte,
    Laughter really takes the edge off of life doesn't it.