Monday, September 19, 2011


Most of us can't remember our toddler years but we had ample reminders watching small family members. One of the things it seems it takes several years to acquire as toddlers is balance and coordination.

They run, they fall. They get their feet tangled and down they go. Lean too far and splat. Since they are close to the ground and usually have ample cushioning with baby fat, the cry usually comes from the suddenness of position change, not from pain.

Then we mature and remain up right with ease for many years. Our balance is great and our recovery if tilted is excellent unless compromised by alcohol. We only have an up close encounter with the earth if we play sports or like to garden. We get used to being upright and take it for granted. 

Then the years pile on and I believe they do not pile on evenly. I think they pile up all on one side, causing our balance to become suspect. I have reached that age. Twice since I have been blogging, I have told of such ungraceful episodes. They are always funny in retrospect, for lets face it, pratfalls make us laugh.

Mighty dog needed his teeth cleaned so he had an early morning appointment on Friday for his semiannual breath freshening. Since the dogs must be anesthetized , they can't have any thing to eat or drink 12 hours before surgery.

 Mighty is a morning eater so to take his mind off a lack of food and to make sure his bowel and bladder were thoroughly empty, I gave him the treat of taking him for a walk in the city park before his appointment.


I was really surprised to see how many walkers were out but it has cooled down lately and quite a few gray or hairless heads were strolling in the early morning.

Mighty was having a wonderful time with all the new smells and things he could pee on and he totally forgot he was hungry. He had all ready filled one bag with poop (he is always a two-bagger) and we were approaching a pair of ladies coming towards us.

I reeled in his leash, had moved to the side of the path, squinted into the morning sun and had “Good Morning” in the back of my throat when I stepped off the edge of the path.

Truthfully, it couldn't have been more than a 4 inch drop off but it was enough. I have talked to others this has happened to and we all comment on how quickly the ground can get in your face. That was not the only thing in my face however.  My face was resting nicely on the poop bag.

Trust me, old lady fat doesn't work as well as baby fat for cushioning nor can I recommend poop bags for protection.  However, those two ladies were on me in a split second and one kept saying as I was gathering my wits, ”Its OK, I have your dog.”

I felt like saying “Forget the dog, get that darn poop bag.”

My previous splats were private affairs that no one witnessed. This was different, there was suddenly a crowd of feet around me. I was hurting a bit but nothing serious, I was mainly embarrassed. Then the really embarrassing thing happened, I tried to get up.

There was a time I could spring up from a cross legged sitting position on the floor. Those days are long gone. Two of the ladies tried to help me up but I wasn't budging.

Then I knew what I had to do. I rolled over onto the grass, got to my hands and knees and then pushed myself up right with my non-sore hand. One of the ladies said,”That is just how I have to get up.”

Somehow that gave me the giggles and it made me feel better knowing I was among like types—old folks and my embarrassment faded.

I checked all my parts and everything worked, if a bit stiff. I did leave a goodly amount of DNA from my hand and elbow on the path which could clearly convict me of asphalt assault if charges were pressed. Needless to say, we didn't finish our walk and Mighty never got to fill his second bag.

So what I am thinking is that the circle of life is catching up. I am  creeping into my senior / toddler phase. I was really enjoying second childhood, not so sure toddler  is going to be nearly as much fun. I guess as long as I am still bouncing and can laugh at my self, I will adjust.

Anyone else noticing the toddler phase creeping up on them? Oh yes, for those creative types looking for a cottage industry, designing senior clothes with extra padding just might sell.


  1. Ouch sounds painful on both your body and pride! I can't say I have many tumbles myself, but sounds like I have it all to look forward too now! Fortunately I don't have a dog to walk so I hope to avoid falling head first into a bag of dog poo!

    Hope your injuries heal quickly!

  2. Patti, I know just how you feel. I haven't fallen lately - except for tripping on a step and going down hard on my knees - but I'm an accident waiting to happen!! I don't dare climb a tall ladder anymore, and even a step-stool is a challenge. Our balance is gone, just as we need it most!! I hope you suffered no ill effects from the fall.

  3. P.S. Patti, I have gone back to my old blog:

  4. My sympathies! My toddler-style learning to balance gait didn't creep up on me, it blue in on the storm of my April 22 stroke. At month 2 or 3 my son noted that HiS toddler son looked like Nana. We were bth learning to walk.

  5. God bless ya. Thankfully, you were not badly injured.

    Yes, I have definitely noticed how moving around is a little more tentative nowadays. Especially when I am in a hotel shower---they are almost always slick surfaces that can be pretty scary.

  6. I haven't fallen like that lately, but I certainly have in the past. I remember once stepping off a curb and simply splatting down in the street, for no reason I could tell. Banged me knee pretty bad, too. Glad you're okay, and it happens to all of us now and then.

  7. Great that your a survivor. As to me I did a similar splat last week. Get this. Going out to fill the bird feeder. We've had a tremendous acorn crop this year... and on the lawn I went splat. They were just like ice with a rolling effect.

  8. I started noticing a balance problem creeping up on me, while in the woods and no longer being able to walk and look up into the trees overhead at the same time...without getting a bit wobbly!

  9. I love your comment about asphalt assault! You have such a unique way of describing things! Glad you didn't hurt anything important and you are still walking!

  10. Darn, I hate it when I fall down. Never thought about landing on a poop bag.

    I thought when I stopped wearing high heels things would get better, and they did for a while. Now we have grab bars everywhere in our house, but walking anywhere else is scary.

    Also, Falling down in the bathtub/shower is too real these days.

    Great post. Hope you are OK. Dianne

  11. Ooops. I hate that when that happens and yes as a matter of fact....last week. I was moving books in our computer room, stepped back to let the cat move off the shelf, my heel caught on the office chair and next thing I know I'm being laughed at by the grands and I'm on the floor. Same procedure to get up as you but with the help of my daughter. I haven't fallen for quite awhile and I hope this isn't the start of a new bought of humiliation and scraps for either of us.
    Oma Linda

  12. I"ve had two experiences where I hit the cement when walking a dog, and one was when I was a bit younger, so it can happen to anybody. I know you're sore, but I'm glad you're okay!

  13. Oh, how I would love to believe that the years have piled on unevenly, but, alas, I have been clutzy my whole life. Gotta blog about this myself!

  14. Sure glad to hear you did not break anything while taking your tumble. I bet you are a bit sore or maybe even a lot sore though. I have been in that toddler mode for several years now. It came on all of a sudden and has chosen to hang around. I am thankful for walls they have been my saving grace several times. Keep balanced and no more falls, okay? Hugs

  15. Patti, Sounds painful! yet you keep your humor...Sometimes I do and other times I don't. It's hard to chuckle and woller around at the same time... Glad you were not hurt.

  16. Yikes...that isn't the way to start the day! Hope your skin heals up quickly and the aches and pains are soon gone.

    I haven't fallen since I broke my arm in 2010. I'm so scared to fall I'm very careful.

  17. Yes. I'm 68 and well, you're right... old lady fat doesn't help much... HAhaaaa...

    great post

    BTW - I'm also in central Arkansas ;)

  18. Perhaps a vest with a walker's air bag. . . ?

    Splatting into a poop bag is cruel and unusual punishment! And yes. . . I know EXACTLY how you had to get up!

  19. Glad you are okay. Great story!

    I had an unfortunate encounter with wrecking and dog poop but I was a tike. Rode my big wheel down a drainage ditch, a friend jumped in front of me to be cute, I swerved to avoid her, fell off and slid through it on my bum. Cotton shorts were no match for the encounter.

  20. You have an amazing turn of phrase ....sorry but I laughed at your misfortune ...I could see it all so clearly.
    I am slow of step, maybe a little too early, but not too unbalanced on my feet except for the first few steps after a long sit down. I have to agree with Kenju about step stools ...some how that last step down is higher than it was going up.xx

  21. Don't even get me started--I should have "FAW DOWN, GO BOOM!" tattooed on my forehead. I LOVE the idea of the airbag vest.

  22. Indeed---there are a number of "toddler" type things that are happening to me and I don't like it at all...!

    I'm glad you were where people could help you, even though ultimately you found the best way to help yourself...! These falls can be very scary and can certainly lead to more than brusises....!
    For me, no more ladders or getting down on my hands and knees?? Both 'No No's'!!! It becomes a different life, for sure....!

    Take good care Patti, no more falling, please, my dear.....

  23. Sorry you took a tumble. I hope it turns out to be harder on your pride than on your body. I know, only too well, how toddler-y I am becoming. When I turned too quickly at church yesterday, a hip locked up and I more or less fell into a fellow parishioner. I didn't hit the floor, but only by the Grace of God.

  24. I live in fear of falling and not being able to heave myself up. It would probably take a crane to accomplish it.

  25. You're right -- funny in retrospect, so thanks for sharing. I'm no doctor (and I don't play one on TV), but I think it has something to do with the fluid in the inner ear drying up as we get older, affecting our balance, and also explaining why older people get dizzy more easily than young people -- which is why they like roller coasters, and we don't. Anyway ... be careful, be safe, and stay on your feet!

  26. I sure hope your alright!!! I fall allot here on the Ponderosa. My kids have joked about gettin' me a 'I've fallen and can't get up' necklace.

    God bless ya and have a terrific uneventful remainder of the day!!! :o)

  27. LLCool Joe,
    Thanks. And, you are a coordinated puppy yet Joey. Enjoy it for many years to come. By the time you are my age, they will have a cure for it.

    You are right, ladders have become snake like haven't they. Wonder if there is a way to regain it.
    Thanks for the link. I am on my way back to your beginning.

    Somehow I think you will pass the little fellow for you are more motivated. You have made such amazing progress.

    The awful thing about shower falls is that you are naked and some strange person will probably have to help you. Yikes.

    It happens enough to keep us humble doesn't it. Our knees, hands and elbows sure take a whipping when we fall.

    We had acorns galore in Florida and I know exactly what you are talking about. There is just no way to remain up right on them.

    Oh yes, I had forgotten about that sensation. You are so right.

    Thanks so much. Still moving if a bit stiff. I'm not complaining.

    Thanks Dianne. Thank goodness we aren't trying to navigate in heels anymore.

    Linda in NM
    Some how it is just human to laugh when some falls and kids don't let worry concern them. How nice of you to be so entertaining. What say we both stay upright for a while.

    Thanks, I am feeling so much better. I think dogs distract us and we get careless.

    I just read your funny post and loved it. Can't imagine being like this all your life though at least you are used to it--maybe.

    So sorry you are also in the not so exclusive club. We just adjust don't we. Thanks I will try and that goes for you also.

    Often it is that wollering about that makes me chuckle.
    Thanks, I am fine if humbled.

    Amber Star,
    Well when you fall you do a bang up job. You really have had a time with that. May be both heal.

    Welcome to TNS and thanks for commenting. Thanks and that is the truth. I'll check your blog out now.

    I think you have hit on something. An air bag would be marvelous and if it deployed with enough vigor, it might blast you upright again. Think your ought to work on that. I'll buy one.

    Ha ha, I am sure that is your story and you are sticking with it. Blame the dog for an underware accident. Hope your mom bought it:))

    It is Ok to laugh, I am. These things creep up on us. You are still a youngster, but beware.

    Let me know who your tatoo artist is--I may want one also. I agree on the air bag.

    Toddler is not the best place to be but no one has offered me a choice yet. You are right,it is a different way of life and we have to think differently also.

    Well I hope it was an interesting person you threw yourself upon:))
    Seriously, it was fortunate he was there.

    I know how you feel. That really is the hard part.

    That makes perfect sense. I wonder if there is a suppliment we could take that would keep the fluid from drying up? Think I will google that. Thanks.

    Ha, I thought of that when I took the spill. May we both never need one.

  28. I'm glad you're okay and didn't break anything! I've had my share of tumbles, the worst one was on ice 20 plus years ago. That left me with a bum ankle that still wants to trip me up to this day...and has a few times. Fortunately, the only thing I've hurt since then is my pride! I don't walk with a limp much anymore, but my foot won't bend up and down very well, just side to side. Maybe I should learn to walk sideways? LOL! Really, I've always been a bit of a klutz.

  29. Oh, Patti! I'm glad you weren't more seriously hurt. That's really scary and, yes, I'm with you. I worry a lot about falling and have become quite good at it. My husband and I are in Maui now, staying at Napili which has a very steep beach and drop into the water. For the first time ever, my husband has to help me out of the water or I'll fall over. I guess I could make it out and up the beach on my hands and knees, but I'm afraid it would create a spectacle. I feel so graceful and powerful in the water, but once I get on land -- I AM like a big, uncoordinated toddler being led by the hand!

  30. Really sorry to read about your fall and hope that you'll be healing up quickly. It must have been horrible to have fallen so publicly, and with a dog poo air bag to break your fall! I think we should envy centipedes and other such things that have lots of legs to carry them around (or.. maybe not when I really think about it, a centipede with rheumatism would not be such a happy creature!).

  31. Oh Patti, you remind me of this story. I haven't fallen in a long time, but my most embarrassing fall came when I was a waitress in my early 20s. I fell in the restaurant while walking around with a pot of coffee, looking for diners who wanted a refill. I hit the floor, slid across it on my knees, and held that coffee pot up like I was the statue of liberty, and it was the torch. Funny memory.

    I hope those asphalt bruises are okay.

  32. So glad you are ok, one never knows when a fall can happen. You have no idea how carefully I put on my clothes, socks, take a shower, bend over for any reason, pick up my cats, get in bed gingerly, the fear of the pain and the potential for medical bills I can't afford keeps me from moving too quickly anywhere I am especially in my own home.

  33. Oh, Patti, I'm so sorry that you fell and got a bit hurt. So yucky about the dang dog poop too. That was nice about the ladies helping you so quickly. I'm glad that you are okay, and that your sense of humor stayed intact.

    God bless,

    Kathy M.

  34. That's exactly how I have to get up too! It's the getting up off the ground in this way that's really annoying me. I'm glad you and Mighty are okay.

  35. Cheryl.
    Thanks, am doing fine now. That must be frustrating with the limited motion ankle. We do adjust thought don't we.

    Dr. Kathy,
    Thanks Kathy and I hope you are having a great time in Paradise. Hills have become a bit a challenge also. Good you have a strong hand to pull you through.
    It is a whole new ball game.

    Thanks big fellow. Guess we should definitely be glad we only have too lags. What a thought:))

    Just think, had there been cell phones with video capabilities, you would have gone viral. That image is too funny.

    Linda Starr,
    Thanks and due diligence is the key word as we add on the years.

    Oregon gifts,
    Thanks Kathy, I was ever so grateful I had zipped the bag shut. As long as we can laugh, few things are really bad.

    The first day you realize you can no longer spring up from the prone position is when you realize--this could suck. Then your own image cracks you up and you adjust.

  36. Glad you're still in one piece. I've always been prone to trip, but I do notice it seems to be coming more frequent. And I agree, old lady fat does not bounce like baby fat, and is less protection to. But then think about it, when we had a cold as a child, it didn't seem so bad, but as we get older, it seems TERRIBLE. It's more embarrassing when falling in front of people. I don't know if I would be able to get up with out the help of a chair or something to grab onto. And people trying to help is not help, that happened about four years ago, got up from my chair in the office, didn't know the dog was behind the chair, as I twirled the chair around and started to walk, saw the dog, thinking I was going to step on her, tried to by pass her and tripped, fell flat on my face. Husband and son (who was visiting from Fl) came running and wanted to try to help me up and I said, just scoot the damn chair over for me to throw my upper body onto it and get my one foot up to push this fat body up, I could do it alone. LOL And I did. Watch your step and forget about the poo bag.

  37. I haven't fallen in a couple of years, but I pay very close attention to where I am. I used to be able to get around without even thinking about it.

    Hope your recovery is uneventful.

  38. The early paragraphs of your blog post reminded me of Marcel Marceau and his wonderful mime performance of birth to death.

  39. So sorry to hear about your fall, but I'm glad you didn't have any broken bones. I can tell that I'm not as nimble as I once was, so I try to be careful.

  40. I just stopped by to let you know that I have enjoyed reading through your blog and your archives. You are a “Noteworthy Archive Award Winner”. You have some great posts hiding in your archives and this award will let others know that it is well worth their time to take a walk through your archives. Congratulations and enjoy!

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    Stop by and pick up your award badge here...

  41. I'm sorry, Patti, but I had to laugh just picturing this. Not funny, BUT...of course, I'm glad you weren't hurt badly. Just glad you fell on the poop bag and not on Mighty! I have been noticing that when I crouch to take a photo, I sometimes realize I can't make my knees work to lift me back up. Very embarrassing. I try not to crouch unless there is a tree or something else that I can use to pull myself upright.

  42. Oh yes! Last winter a sudden gust of wind threw me on the ground while I was cycling. So I fell on the street with my bike on top of me. And there were four people helping me up!

  43. Oh my, I am glad you are ok! The personal air bag idea is a hoot (maybe you should look into that)! BTW, thank you for offering to rescue me today. It isn’t easy living in harmony with some critters.

  44. Yes, Patti, that cake was edible. I don't care for the type of icing that makes it so smooth, but it does make it look pretty. I prefer butter cream icing, for obvious reasons!

    The flower girl's shoes were so cute; I'd probably wear those too.

  45. Wait till I post of my falling in a portapotty at a rest stop in either Kansas or Nebraska.

    I am still recovering from the back and leg bruises, muscle sorenness and wounded ego.

    There were witnesses to my ungodly view of getting to my feet with my husband's help, butt toward the cloud of witnesses

  46. i'm sorry your having internet troubles! I wish i could fix them for you!

    Hope it gets better soon!

  47. Patty,
    Ouch, I know how you feel. The thing with toddlers is that they feel no embarrassment. That is for us to enjoy.

    Linda Myers,
    Thank you, almost healed.

    I really used to enjoy watching hime.

    Sweet Virginia Breeze,
    Goodness, I almost had to look up the spelling of nimble it has been so long.

    Mumsy's place,
    Well thank you so very much. Sometimes we feel that after we post, they are just dust catchers. I am very flattered that you took the time and passed the award my way. Thank you.

    Thank you and that is a great practice. Wonder if those people would have let me climb up their leg:))

    Reader Wil,
    Ouch Wil, that had to hurt. It was good you had so many helpers.

    You make an air bag vest and I will buy it:)) Hope you are now safe and that was the last of them.

    Thanks Judy It really looked artificial to me but sadly I don't get to that many weddings these days except via your blog.

    Yikes, that sounds so very painful and I am looking forward to your post. It will be one of those funny in retrospect posts I guess for it couldn't have been fun at the time.

    Gosh, I wish you could also. We have such a pitiful server here. However if that is the price of country living--I'll pay it.
    Thank you.


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