Monday, October 3, 2011

OBSERVANT OR OBLIVIOUS

Joey at Joey's Pad, recently posted about changing his blog layout.  He questioned who did change theirs, who didn't and who noticed. I was sad to admit that I never notice.

If you go to all the trouble to make your template a thing of beauty, I am sorry but your efforts are mostly lost on me. Generally, I am oblivious.  Fortunately most will notice so your efforts will be appreciated.

I think I have a gene missing.  I am miserable with detail, especially when it applies to my friends. They have to lose at least 50 to 100 pounds for me to notice. Hair can't just change color or style, it has to be gone over night before I comment.

If  that new tattoo is a spider web effect covering the face, then your painfully applied decoration will register with me.  Unless you are practically naked, I probably won’t notice  your smashing new apparel. 

If I walk through your house, I may remark on the overall pleasant appearance but could not tell you for the life of me if you had carpet or tile, what kind of window treatments you had nor  the style of furniture. However, I probably would be able to recall where your bathroom is.

Yes, I am that bad and this flaw has kept me from any artistic pursuit. Detail is the artist's tool.

Twice I have had to try to pick a suspect out of a police line up and could not do it.  Once  for a grifter I had opened an account for at the bank and once trying to identify a gang leader when my group of friends had been assaulted. Police are careful to put like types in a line up and to me, they all looked alike. I tend to put appearances into an overall category, pleasant or unpleasant, attractive or not.

What I do notice is how the person is feeling. I  quickly sense emotions and can "see" your mood. I can usually tell right away if something is not quite “right” with someone no matter how they try to hide it.  Just don’t expect me to notice   that you no longer wear glasses or are sporting  a new mustache. Well I might notice a new mustache on a girl though that is not a given. 

I once dated a twin. You don’t even have to guess how that went. Other people could tell them apart, the only thing that eventually helped me with recognizing my boyfriend was that one was an optimist and one was a pessimist. I lucked out and got the optimist.

I hope I am not alone in this and the beauty of blogging is that we often find we are not all that unique. I am hoping this time that will again be proven though I am a wee bit doubtful.

Please tell me I am not alone. Are you observant or oblivious?

49 comments :

  1. This is an interesting exercise. I would not be able to id someone in a line-up. I forget things too fast. I don't care what people look like, so wouldn't notice new glasses, etc. Yes, I think I too would mention someone being tired or sick.

    About noticing new layout on blogs and website..YES..I would know that in an instant.

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  2. You sound like my mother as she was not at all observant. I am observant about some things, not others. I do have a friend who has the emotion sensing radar--with other people--but no real understanding of her own emotional health. It's a little frustrating, but also fascinating to me.

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  3. I can relate to this post big time, Patti. For me it's a matter of interest. I can remember and describe the details of places I caught trout decades ago. When my spouse redecorates the house, she complains I don't notice because I don't care.... Oh oh. I'm in trouble again.

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  4. I also see the big picture and notice that something is different, I just can't say what. I do notice when people change their blogs, but I wish I was able to tune out some things. I really get distracted when people have moving things catching my eye, and I have to cover that part of the screen so I can read the post! :-)

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  5. Ha ha, thanks for the shout out.

    Well you know I have a degree in art. I'm a qualified art teacher, but decided to run my own graphic design business. My mother was an interior designer, so I suppose it's not that much of a surprise that I see things visually!

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  6. I'm oblivious to most everything ..except numbers....CityBoy says i know the price of everything in WalMart...i guess it was all those years as a purchasing agent and bookkeeper.....

    Enjoy

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  7. You know the story here at Casa de Cuckoo. I'm married to Mr. O, my daughter sees every little detail but heeds none, Ry spotlights his own interests and GK is so cute. I am observant and alone in the doing of the details. We are a house of diversity.....er something. Oma Linda

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  8. Oh my Patti......I'm the same way except I don't sense moods. I could describe a person's eyes or their smile though. I just don't notice detail. When guys shave their beards I never notice until someone says something.

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  9. Layout is interesting in that I notice I usually pick the same design as many others.

    Attire is not too important to myself of that of others, unless we are dirty, smelly, etc. or in appropriately dressed which is a judgement Call I should not do.

    I am impressed with neat homes but details seldom impress me.

    I remember people but not names unless I see them every day.

    These are life-long deficiencies, not old age....

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  10. I'm pretty much like you, when I go into someone's house, I notice if it looks neat or is cluttered, but anything else I don't notice. Of course if they were using orange crates as furniture I probably would notice that. LOL

    But I do notice when someone changes their blog appearance, usually. Not always. I changed mine by accident, was playing around and accidentally deleted the one I had for years and couldn't find it again, I hate changing, too much hassle on my part. I also like the three column style and it's hard to find that template.

    I'm like you when I see someone, and, unless I was threatened, I doubt I would be able to pick them out of a line up. I guess I need to start paying more attention to small things. Have a good day, at the moment it's about 45, a little chilly

    We just got back from the doctor's office, Abe had to be rechecked for this upper respiratory thing he's had going on for about a month and I had to have a Pro Time test to see how the Coumadin they put me on is working. Wed we both have an appointment with the heart doctor, him to tell us what his Ultra sound last week showed and mine to talk over the skipping heart that have been more than usual. That's the reason they started me on Coumadin.

    Seems always something, but then what can we expect, he'll be 77 and I'll be 75 this month. Lordy, lordy, never thought I would be using those numbers with my age. LOL

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  11. Detail is the artists tool. That is such an excellent observation. Yes, for visual artists, and you are a fantastic writer who remembers the details of past events with enviable clarity.

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  12. Hi Patti, I'll admit that I am not very observant either... People have always said to me things like this: "I passed you in the car and waved.. Didn't you see me????" Ugh--NO I didn't!!!! ha ha

    I do notice changes in blogs SOMETIMES --especially header photos. But--not always....

    Guess I'm just OBLIVIOUS...
    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  13. I think I'm fairly observant, but my memory isn't good. I can remember faces, but not names.

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  14. I am observant....! Being a painter and a writer and an actress---Well, it's just something that comes naturally to me....But I'm not sure that I would see certain things about one's 'person'---different glasses or a different Hair Style, unless it someone I see almost every day....
    I am very aware of emotions, too....And, as to changing Blog Layouts, I DO notice that....

    An inyeresting question, Patti...Very thought provoking, my dear....

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  15. I am observant about surroundings, and am detail oriented, but once my husband shaved his mustache and I didn't notice. He later divorced me and I always wondered if that had something to do with it, lol.

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  16. I used to notice & remember everything but I don't, anymore. I think I've figured out why. They say the brain is like a computer. If that's true, it would have a finite number of bytes. The longer you live, the more bytes you use until, finally, your brain is full. That's why you can remember grammar school but not what you had for lunch yesterday. God should have given us a DELETE key.

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  17. I feel I'm observant of things that interest me, especially in nature and sense emotions fairly well, but new glasses, clothing, shoes and the like would escape me.

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  18. I am pretty observant about some things, but can totally miss a new hairstyle or clothes that a coworker wears.

    I am like you in that I can pick up on people's feelings more than their appearance. I spend way too much time worrying that I've hurt someone inadvertently.

    xxoo,

    RWM

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  19. I must confess I am a noticing kind of person. I was Miss Marple in my former life.
    Example: My kids threw a party when I was away. I noticed something was not quite right as soon as I walked through the front door. My son immediately confessed he and his friends had made a mess but he and his sister cleaned the place within an inch of its life. How could I notice one litte bookcase had been shifted an inch?

    Never try to fool a Mom.

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  20. Absolutely observant. People often then I'm nosey but not true, just overly observant. I notice everything and therefore ask a lot of questions. Sometimes I wish I were not so observant.

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  21. I usually read blogs in Google Reader, which just gives me the text. I have to remind myself to go to the blog itself, now and then, and check he layout. I admit I'm not very observant about people, either. The change has to be very obvious.

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  22. You are an observer of Life, as your writing illustrates. Sometimes, I notice too much so I miss the "big picture!"

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  23. Again you pose food for thought ...I hate it when someone totally changes their blog as I think I'm visiting the wrong one ...subtle changes are lost however. I remember people visually more than by their name ...which can be a problem if you need to introduce them to someone yet I met an aquaintance after a 3 months break and remarked 'There's something different about you ...new glasses??' ... 'No ....nearly 3 stone' came the curt reply. I do notice changes but only those that are important to me or give me pleasure and those are the things stay in my head.xx

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  24. I am observant about some things and not others. If I'm really paying attention, I will notice small details. If my mind is off somewhere else, I notice very little.

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  25. You could easily be describing me. I have friends who recall to the hour when they might have worn a certain piece of clothing. Me? I might wear the same thing to four occasions in one week.

    The only time I paid attention to such details was when my children were small. I wanted to make certain I could tell anyone exactly what they were wearing.

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  26. MissDazey,
    You are a bit more observant than I am and trust me, line-ups are tough.

    Olga,
    Think I would have liked your mother. Funny how we all zero in on different things.

    troutbirder,
    Oh oh, I promise not to tell. Glad you are one of us.

    Djan,
    I know what you mean. I also have to turn off my speakers for those with music. I just can't concentrate.

    LLCoolJoe,
    You are welcome and thanks for the blog idea. I knew you had the soul of an artist.

    Blue Ridge Boomer,
    Too bad you can't turn that knowledge into a paying talent.

    Linda in NM,
    Diversity is good. No one gets bored.

    Olkhdan,
    Me too Dani. I once totally ignored a guy who had let his wife give him a perm. I never noticed his sudden curls.

    Nitwit,
    Mine have been with me all my life also. Guess we are just stuck.

    Patty,
    Sure hope all your tests will get you proper management. The older we get, the more pills it takes.

    robin,
    Thanks robin. Odd how I don't see them at the time but can remember them years later.Weird.

    Betsy,
    Oh my, I am awful about waving. Now days I wave at almost everyone and hope I catch my friends. It is kind of custom here to wave at everyone anyway.

    Cheryl,
    Well you at least have half of it conquered.

    OOLOH,
    With all your talents, you have to be observant. Detail is a must in your business.

    Oregon gifts,
    Had to laugh at the mustache and your ex. I had a friend whose husband shaved his off and she said he looked so different, she felt like she was cheating on him.

    fishducky,
    Ha I have those same thoughts. I wish we could defragment our brains also.

    Wanda,
    With the marvelous eye you have for photography and nature, you are quite observant.

    Rocky Mountain Woman,
    Seems we are very much alike. I am beginning to believe this is not the exclusive club I thought it was.

    schmidleysscribblins
    You are in the wrong profession. Detective would really suit your talents. Just a bookcase moved??? Wow.

    Linda,
    At least nothing gets by you. Interviewers have a true function. They make people feel important.

    Betty,
    Me too and I mean really obvious.

    Barb,
    Aw, thanks. I hope so.
    I once went to a sporting event and took a million pictures. I really couldn't tell you anything about the event. Know what you mean.

    Angie,
    Looks like you have found the balance between the two O's.

    Sweet Virginia Breeze,
    Maybe that is it, my mind is always somewhere else. At least you can control yours.

    NCMountain woman,
    That makes perfect sense why you could remember their outfits. That had value to remember.

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  27. I am like you. Just a few weeks ago my husband found a zip lock bag on the side of the road with a debit card and $20 in it. I was walking in from of him and I strolled right past it.

    I even photographed a group of people Thursday night, went to a rehearsal dinner the next night and introduced myself to a woman. She replied, "we met last night. You photographed me." Oops!

    P.S. We did call the bank to report the debit card and chopped up the card on request.

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  28. Haha sweet Patti, i think people will still love you even if you don't see if they changed their backgrounds.

    And seeing people's emotions, i think, are way more important then the background changes! ;-)

    Leontien

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  29. I like to think I am observant, but then I sometimes get surprised at details I have missed.

    I have noticed over the years that male floral designers are the very best at noticing and remembering details!

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  30. Patti, I would go with your strengths -- noticing how a person is emotionally, how he or she is feeling -- any day! I can be oblivious at times, too. In fact, lately I've noticed that I have trouble putting names with the faces of very casual acquaintances while my husband has no trouble at all. (However, he had to ask me what day, month and year it was while filling out forms at the doctor's office today!) Ah, aging!

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  31. I notice all of it but comment on none of it so people think I don't notice it or am a little wrapped up in myself, I guess!

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  32. I am definitely the same way. When I worked in an office and someone would suggest doing a baby shower for someone who was already HUGE, I would be surprised to find out they were pregnant! I often follow the eyes of women checking out other women. They scan the shoes, the clothing, head to toe. I never do that and could care less. But then, like you, people are upset I don't notice something new about them.

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  33. Maybe you could let people leave comments and then tell them about themselves. Oh wait, you already do that. Dianne

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  34. You sound like my husband. Except he doesn't notice how a person is feeling either.

    I am very, very detail oriented. Unfortunately, I notice every little flaw or imperfection.

    I was watching a movie the other night and missed an entire conversation because I was concentrating on the actress's huge. . .lips.

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  35. Hahahaha. You are good at reading someone’s mood and very good at cheering them up. I had lots of fun with you and the girls. Thank you for all your encouragement and laughter. : )

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  36. I think I am mostly observant. I miss little in my surroundings. I do have a problem with faces sometimes though. This is a strange problem. On occasion, I have been sure I have known someone, or recognized someone, only to find out that I am mistaken. This is embarrassing. At least the person doesn't know me either!

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  37. I love details and notice change pretty quick on most everything. I do notice new layouts on blogs. I can tell instantly when something is not where it should be but can't always remember where I left it...getting old and memory fails me at times.

    You always have such interesting posts. I love coming to read them. Hugs

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  38. I am usually fairly observant. One time I had a glass door installed on our fireplace in our last home. Gary came home and I asked him if he noticed anything different. He said, you hair is different (because he usually didn't notice when I cut it he wanted to be sure he noticed it by saying so. Ha. I had to point out the fireplace screen.

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  39. Islandwonder,
    Now that is an odd find. It definitely displays the difference between you and hubby.

    Leontien,
    Most often people try to hide emotions and don't want anyone to notice. They would rather I noticed the new hair cut.

    Judy,
    I would think in your job, you are quite good. Odd how the men are better at detail.

    Dr. Kathy,
    Now days, I have trouble with names of people I know fairly well. I agree--aging.

    Deb,
    Or it could be you just don't think it necessary.

    flour child.
    Love your name by the way and welcome. You probably just thought she was on an eating binge and you were just being polite. I see no harm though it is funny.

    schmidleysscribblin
    I wish that would work Dianne but I think I have to see them.

    Sheri,
    Had to laugh at the lip thing. Maybe there is an advantage to my condition.

    Jewels,
    We did have fun didn't we, even though each of us thought no one else had shown up.

    Retired English Teacher,
    I would think being observant would almost be necessary for a teacher though I had a few that were oblivious.

    mumsy,
    Thank you for the nice compliment. It is your type that makes the people work so hard to have such spectactular layouts. Thank goodness everyone is not like me.

    Linda Starr,
    Ha ha, Gary tried to cover his bases but he really missed the mark. I can relate to his plight.

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  40. I have the same Don'tnoticeitis syndrome! I used to go on those Designer House tours with a friend. She'd say something like, "Did you see that pretty tray on the coffee table?" I'd have to answer, "Coffee table?"

    I do notice blog themes though. I am amazed at the cleverness out there.

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  41. You are not alone, but you are definitely unique. And don't sell yourself short on the "details are the artist's tools department! Your masterful use of details is what causes serious outbreaks of emtions ranging from sympathy for your subject to uncontrollable and quite inelegant fits of laughter.

    BTW, the new posts from you and some of my other fav bloggers have not been showing up on my blogger dashboard. What is with that I wonder. Missed you so went searching through bookmarks.

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  42. Marylee,
    Now that would be funny if it wouldn't be exactly what my words would be. Wonder if there is a pill to correct it.

    LC
    Wow, that is an amazing compliment and I thank you so much for thinking so.
    I do believe Blogger has the hiccups for others have mentioned that problem. Mine is being unable to comment on some blogs that have the embedded comment setting. My comment just disappears.

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  43. This is a most thought provoking post. Being a potter and visual artist I am, of course, aware (perhaps too aware) of the world around me. I can be terrible at seeing behaviors in people. I worked with a woman who was head of a different program. Every afternoon she would go out for a late lunch and leave a message on her voice mail that she was in the field and to contact her on her cell phone. Years later after she had retired I mentioned this to my new boss who said, "X was an alcoholic and spent every afternoon in the bar of the restaurant across the parking lot." DUH! Yet I was really good at reading my developmentally delayed clients. Go figure!!

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  44. smart cat,
    Wow, she really had an understanding boss.

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  45. I tend to be both. It depends on the intesity of the moment that engages me.

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  46. Hi Patti... You are so talented... i wish i could write like you.. you have such a gift.. now... where did i put my keys..???

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  47. Jan,
    Aw, thanks Sis. Glad you think so. I can relate to those car keys:))

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  48. Patti, I love the way you have your comments all set up on, and how we all wait for your reply. I haven't seen anybody else be as consistent, but you provoke answers with your very posts. Awesome job! I keep coming back to read what everybody says and to read your replies. You rock!

    Kathy M.

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  49. Oregon gifts,
    Wow thanks for the great compliment. I do have really amazing readers and their comments are usually more interesting than my post. Reading them is my favorite part of blogging.
    Good to know people actually come back to read my response. Thank you.

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