"I'm at the age when you don't meet a lot of new people, unless you happen to drive into their living room." Robert Brault
Recently, I was having lunch with 3 friends when we got into a spirited debate. The questions that started the flying opinions
were-- "Can men and women be just friends?"
|These 6 couldn't keep it that way.|
We were split down the middle. Each of us were naturally basing our views on personal experience. Two of us were married, two divorced. However marital status didn't account for opinions held. There was one married and one divorced teamed up on each side of the question.
In spite of the fact that some of my dearest friends have been male, I was firmly of the opinion that men and women can be friends, but one of them will want more from the relationship, even if they never pursue it.
I told them of the time in particular when I became fast friends with a guy I worked with. I was totally convinced we were "just friends" till I met his wife for the first time. She gave me a long look, then said," Well it is nice to put a face to the name my husband calls out in his sleep." Yikes!!
She smiled but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes even though she saw I was a 50'ish, average looking woman, certainly not a hot predator.
He never gave any indication of any hidden attraction. It had to have been a subconscious thing that sleep released. Our relationship however did go from comfortable and easy to having an edge to it after that.
l could also relate to times when I had male friends. While I valued and enjoyed their friendship, it wouldn't have ruffled my feathers much if the relationship had taken a different turn.
How many married couples do you know who profess that their spouse is their "best friend" or that they were friends before they started dating. I personally think that is the perfect foundation for a great marriage. However it also strengthens my view that the male/female friendship" will often morph into more.
My friends and I didn't resolve our difference of opinions nor did we give much ground on our views. The friendship question remained steadfastly at a tie--2 to 2.
As we were leaving the restaurant we passed a long table of about 10 men having lunch. I was sorely temped to get their opinion to break our tie but figured they might not tell the truth to a stranger. Besides, I have you.
I am curious. Do you think men and women can have a simple friendship with out one wanting more?? Hopefully you can break the tie vote.
This is something I would like to share that Linda Wildenstein turned me on to in her comment. The following site, One Good Thing by Jillie is a real find. Jillie is full of natural ways to combat everyday problems. She even has a homemade version of the bathroom odor killer from my last post. Some really interesting and useful stuff there. Thanks Linda.