Monday, November 4, 2013

SWEET SMELLING CRAP



GROSS ALERT----TOO MUCH INFORMATION BUT FOR A GOOD CAUSE

I'll never forget the first time I heard the saying.  I over heard my older, teenage brother Jack talking about a cheerleader he was interested in that wasn't even aware of him. Referring to her aloofness he grumbled,  "She thinks her sh*t doesn't stink."

I was at first stunned at his crude use of a forbidden word but then I studied the meaning of his observation with my seven year old brain. Yikes, I thought, does that mean mine and everyone else's does? When you are at that time primarily using an outhouse, it is hard to tell what smell is yours and what belongs to previous users.  

Of course, as I grew up I  realized that sometimes mine does get fragrant, other times it really is quite harmless. Most often, I am happily quite cheerleader'ish. It all depends on if I consume any red meat or who is in the next room or stall. Occasionally when I am really not wanting to offend either at a party or a packed restroom, those ornery scent demons smile wickedly and even salads can let me down.

Red meat, which mostly accounts for the aroma, takes 48 to 72 hours to pass through your body.  It is like a time bomb and you never really know for sure when it will go off,    

I have almost completely removed red meat from my diet.  Still there are circumstances when it crosses my lips such as when I travel and indulge  in convenient fast food or politely  eat other people's cooking  Sometime I hope to cross the bridge and become a vegetarian. I am sure pure vegans can safely poop in public or at friends homes with complete confidence. 

A ploy I use to use on those rare surprise occasions of public humiliation was the courtesy flush (flushing before you are actually through to whisk away the majority of the offenders).  Courtesy flushes are thoughtful but only weaken the effect. A band-aid on an open artery.  

Since I have a family visiting/ travel event coming up the first of December, I was weighing my options. Then remembering a former  Dr. Oz show  came to my rescue. Yes, another gadget of sorts for the gadget gal.  It is called Just a Drop. 




It had the magic price for me by being just $7.99 for a 60 use bottle. Anything under ten dollars I will try. As much as one dollar over that amount needs serious consideration---retirement finances 101. I liked the idea that it came in purse/ pocket size. Perfect and portable--- if it worked. 

Now  I really had to go off diet to successfully test it. So far, even after downing several test cheeseburgers, it has been stellar. What I won't do for my friends! 

Per the reviews, I use one drop and yes, zero odor. It is supposed to have a fresh spring like scent but I smelled nothing. That's right, nothing.  Not a masking, overpowering, tell tale fragrance but just clean air. Ooh, ooh, could it possibly be??   The drops should  be preemptive however.  Adding later doesn't work nearly as well. The cat is all ready out of the bag.
  
 Ahem, now I know none of you gals have this problem, cough, cough. I mean after all, we ladies don't even sweat--- but what about that man of yours. That meat eating carnivore who takes pride in his paint peeling morning bowel movements? That fellow who sports a big grin as he shuts the door quickly after himself and says,"I wouldn't go in there for a while if I were you."

It might be hard to train him to use the relationship smoothing drops as you probably still haven't stopped him from getting all twinkly eyed while asking the grandchildren to pull his finger when he needs to fart. However if you discretely put a few drops (heavy loads might require more than one drop) in the toilet without him knowing before he takes over the room in the morning, it just might work. You might want to check out the 400 uses size bottle for him. 

My work is done here. Hope it was helpful. Breathe deeply and freely.-- I am.

  

34 comments :

  1. Not a TMI topic at all. We all poop. I had no idea this product existed (as I don't watch T.V.) and I may have to get me some because I am always trying to be considerate of those around me.

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  2. I remember learning that lighting a match afterwards would help clear out the smell and kept a box of matches on the back of the toilet for years. Since I've become pretty much of a vegetarian (I still eat some fish), it's not as much of a problem. I saw an ad for "Poo-pouri" which is a spray you use beforehand. This seems much more useful! I sure do learn about many interesting things from you, Patti! Thanks! :-)

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  3. You make me laugh out loud. I just love you and your blog!

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  4. I had no idea of the correlation between red meat and poopy odor. Interesting! Maybe I need to eat less cheeseburgers or get these drops lol.

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  5. Thanks for the tip! While I strongly advocate removing animals (and their secretions) from the diet - our digestive tract is too long for the process and the meat putrefies during the battle to digest it - I can assure you that plant-based diets do not, er, eliminate the issue completely.

    If you do decide to make the switch down the road, keep the added fiber in mind..... Things, um, can move rather quickly!

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  6. Hahahahahahahahahaha...!
    Wonder if WalMart has it in the pharmacy...?!

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  7. OK, another reason to forego the steaks and burgers. I guess I have to plan ahead and eat red meat when I know no one will be near my poop.

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  8. Funny post
    My solutions.... if you aren't digesting red meat, take more pro-biotic. As one gets older, the stomach acids leave. Eliminates the smell.
    To take care of the oder... light a match. When you were kids, didn't you ever light "farts" ??????? We didn't have the electronic games, etc..... we played with what was available. Hahahaha

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  9. I love this post. I began making our own "no poo smell drops" no long ago. Stumbled upon it on Pinterest of all places at One Good Thing Jillie. It does work....and you are right trying to teach Sweet Man any new tricks is well.....pointless. So before he comes home in the evening, I try to remember to use the drops and I try to be the last one in the bathroom at night before we go to bed and once again drop the drops.

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  10. We have this at our home. With only a partial colon left it does lead to some smelly situations, now if only I could find a F'RT odour eater!!!

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  11. HA HA HA ---leave it up to my Patti to bring a topic like this to Blogger… This is a first --but truly, we all poop and we all have flatulence.

    Since I had that hernia sitting on my small intestine and since I lost all of the weight, I have had lots of trouble with my intestines. I have to work hard NOT to be constipated--which means FIBER… Flatulence is a bigger problem for me (embarrassing) now than stinky poops…. I probably need to get that "Drop" and take it with me wherever I go… ha ha

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  12. You might enjoy this:

    http://biggeekdad.com/2013/10/poo-pourri-toilet-spray

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  13. Wonder if it would work for my son. He leaves the bathroom, with a proud grin on his face and say 'top that' Where did I go wrong?

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  14. I was LOL when I read that second to last paragraph, Patti! It reminded that my dad used to do the "pull my finger" trick much to my mother's disgust. I would laugh and laugh. He thought it was funny, too, as men do. I'll bet she could have used some of this product! Of course, you know we never would need it. Ahem, cough, cough. Oh, the embarrassments of aging. I'm afraid to sneeze or cough these days!

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  15. awwwww...she said, sighing and breathing in some fresh air. You just made my day..hahaha!!!

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  16. LOVE THIS!!! We can all use help with the Poop odors....I use a spray that is ALL natural and has a Lemon/Orange scent....It works great! But I love the idea of these drops. I'm going to see of I can get them 'on line'. Thanks so much Patti....And BTW, I don't eat any Red Meat---But I do eat Chicken....!

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  17. Peruby,
    Glad to be of service. I do envy you however for kicking the TV habit. Well done.

    Djan,
    That does work. I carry a cigarette lighter in my purse as any open flame works. Somehow, I always felt people knew what I was doing. This way I can be sneaky.:))

    Olga,
    Oh, I am so glad I was able to tickle you. Thank you so much.

    Keith,
    Ha ha, if you really like those cheeseburgers, get the drops.

    Barry,
    You said it. I wish I had used that term "putrefies". That perfectly describes it.
    I stay pretty much fiber saturated so I know what you mean.

    Blue Ridge Boomer,
    Sadly they don't carry it. You might try any essential oil. It should work. I plan to try that myself.

    Meryl,
    It is that darn 72 hour window that makes it hard to judge just when you are safe. Good luck.

    Manzi,
    Ha ha, I heard of that but we never did it--or at least I didn't. Can't say my brothers didn't experiment though. You are right, we worked with what we had.

    Linda W.
    You have perfected the science. Bet SW is probably wondering what is wrong with him suddenly having no smell.
    I wish I had talked to you first. It seems any essential oil might do the trick. I am going to try some peppermint that I have on hand. Minty fresh would be kind of cool.

    Heidrun,
    Ah but there is help for that. They have activated charcoal pads that go in your underwear to filter gas. Something for everyone.

    Betsy,
    Glad I could give you a chuckle. Seriously however, check what I just told Heidrun. Might be nice for social events. Also Manzi mentioned probiotics which might help.

    Fishducky,
    Thanks for the link. I had checked out poo-pourri first and just liked the idea of the drops better than a spray.

    Muffy,
    Ok that made me laugh a LOT. What a guy. You gave him a great sense of humor so you are doing just right.

    Linda M
    Hope you like it.

    Cheryl,
    Ha,ha, guys and kids just adore that "trick" don't they.

    turquoisemoon,
    So glad I could brighten your day. It was my goal.

    Naomi,
    Me too, though I prefer turkey. I rarely eat red meat except for every now and then and I usually pay the price.

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  18. Oh, my goodness sweet Patti you have made me laugh. I had no idea red meat was the cause of stinky poop. I eat very little red meat but hubby eats a lot gotta tell you there is a huge difference in mine and his poop odor. I usually head to the bathroom with some kind of fragrant stool cleaner after he leaves but what you found sounds like a much better thing to use. Thank you, for yet another review and some informative information. Hugs for you and nose kisses for Minnie

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  19. That is interesting. I have learned how to eat to minimize gas but these drops are fascinating.

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  20. Didn't know what makes my sh-- stink! Well, I won't give up red meat, but I might think about where I'm going and time my eating of it.
    What a character you are! So much fun!

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  21. Maggie,
    Ha, if you do it like Linda W. does her husband, your hubby will never even know.

    islandwonder,
    Our bodily function really need constant maintenance don't they.

    Linda R.
    Don't forget that 48 to 72 hour window. Glad you enjoyed.

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  22. I never really think about poop smelling! I just do my business and leave it at that! Thanks for the large grin. :D Your title cracked me up.

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  23. Hi Patti! You can also light a match or burn a candle. That does the trick as well and it is much cheaper.
    Have a great week!
    Wil

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  24. Good grief. Whoda thought. Well for me I believe with climate change, the Middle East, defaulting on the national debt etc. I have enough crises to deal with so.... I pass this one by...:)

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  25. Joey,
    Ha ha, the perfect male response:)) Ask your daughters for a different slant. Glad I could make you smile.

    Wil,
    I agree that those work great at home but not so much at a party or in public.

    Weekend-windup,
    Thanks.

    TB.
    We pick our battles.

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  26. I am totally getting this for my friend who regularly stinks up my bathroom...

    thanks!!!

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  27. Only you, Patti, would be able to write about a subject this sh...ty and make it fun, as well as informative. Love it ...

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  28. at a book store recently I enjoyed the fragrance of spruce need to go back and see what brand it was, it was a really natural smelling fragrance. you can get away with so much tmi stuff Ha

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  29. RMW,
    Just drop it in before he hits the room and he won't know what happened--or if he is trainable, try getting him to use it.

    Ginnie,
    Thank you, glad you enjoyed. It was my public service announcement for the month:))

    Linda Starr,
    Check to see if that spruce was in essential oil form. E O's will do the same job as the Just a Drop.

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  30. I need a gallon of that stuff.

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  31. It's a good thing we can open the windows here in Hawaii so it's not too much of a problem. We also don't eat all that much meat. Wow! I didn't even know that was the culprit.

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  32. Patti, I missed this somehow. Since I can't use anything that gives off scent, (because of my formaldehyde allergy), I'm sticking to the preemptive flush! I believe veggies are also odor culprits - think broccoli and cauliflower.... I actually eat almost no red meat but am definitely not the cheerleader!

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