SWEET SMELLING CRAP

GROSS ALERT----TOO MUCH INFORMATION BUT FOR A GOOD CAUSE. 

I'll never forget the first time I heard the saying.  I over heard my older, teenage brother Jack talking about a cheerleader he was interested in that wasn't even aware of him. Referring to her aloofness he grumbled,  "She thinks her sh*t doesn't stink."

I was at first stunned at his crude use of a forbidden word but then I studied the meaning of his observation with my seven year old brain. Yikes, I thought, does that mean mine and everyone else's does? When you are at that time primarily using an outhouse, it is hard to tell what smell is yours and what belongs to previous users.  

Of course, as I grew up I  realized that sometimes mine does get fragrant, other times it really is quite harmless. Most often, I am happily quite cheerleader'ish. It all depends on if I consume any red meat or who is in the next room or stall. Occasionally when I am really not wanting to offend either at a party or a packed restroom, those ornery scent demons smile wickedly and even salads can let me down.

Red meat, which mostly accounts for the aroma, takes 48 to 72 hours to pass through your body.  It is like a time bomb and you never really know for sure when it will go off,    

I have almost completely removed red meat from my diet.  Still there are circumstances when it crosses my lips such as when I travel and indulge  in convenient fast food or politely  eat other people's cooking  Sometime I hope to cross the bridge and become a vegetarian. I am sure pure vegans can safely poop in public or at friends homes with complete confidence. 

A ploy I use to use on those rare surprise occasions of public humiliation was the courtesy flush (flushing before you are actually through to whisk away the majority of the offenders).  Courtesy flushes are thoughtful but only weaken the effect. A band-aid on an open artery.  

Since I have a family visiting/ travel event coming up the first of December, I was weighing my options. Then remembering a former  Dr. Oz show  came to my rescue. Yes, another gadget of sorts for the gadget gal.  It is called Just a Drop. 

It had the magic price for me by being just $7.99 for a 60 use bottle. Anything under ten dollars I will try. As much as one dollar over that amount needs serious consideration---retirement finances 101. I liked the idea that it came in purse/ pocket size. Perfect and portable--- if it worked. 

Now  I really had to go off diet to successfully test it. So far, even after downing several test cheeseburgers, it has been stellar. What I won't do for my friends! 

Per the reviews, I use one drop and yes, zero odor. It is supposed to have a fresh spring like scent but I smelled nothing. That's right, nothing.  Not a masking, overpowering, tell tale fragrance but just clean air. Ooh, ooh, could it possibly be??   The drops should  be preemptive however.  Adding later doesn't work nearly as well. The cat is all ready out of the bag.
  
 Ahem, now I know none of you gals have this problem, cough, cough. I mean after all, we ladies don't even sweat--- but what about that man of yours. That meat eating carnivore who takes pride in his paint peeling morning bowel movements? That fellow who sports a big grin as he shuts the door quickly after himself and says,"I wouldn't go in there for a while if I were you."

It might be hard to train him to use the relationship smoothing drops as you probably still haven't stopped him from getting all twinkly eyed while asking the grandchildren to pull his finger when he needs to fart. However if you discretely put a few drops (heavy loads might require more than one drop) in the toilet without him knowing before he takes over the room in the morning, it just might work. You might want to check out the 400 uses size bottle for him. 

My work is done here. Hope it was helpful. Breathe deeply and freely.-- I am.