Monday, July 18, 2016

FLATULENCE FEAR


Nope, this is not a post about this senior citizen's flatulence nor any human's for that matter.  Fishducky's very funny blog with her post about dogs and a cute flatulence cartoon spurred me to relate this story about my dog Callie's fear.

Callie has recently learned to fart. She is three years old and to my knowledge, this is a new adventure for her.  It's possible she may have been letting silent ones go all along but I never smelled the release and if she did, I am pretty sure it was of something she herself was unaware. Oddly, not farting isn't a trait you can praise a dog for if it never happens.

When she recently had butt surgery to remove her anal glands, the antibiotics upset her digestive system a tad plus she had to work to regain sphincter control.
She was lying on the couch between myself and my company when a very distinct "Pfffffft" erupted from her butt.  Her ears popped up and with terror filled eyes she swung her head sharply towards her tail. She sniffed briefly, then ran wild eyed from the room. I am sure she felt under attack by some unknown force hiding behind her, or worse, in her.

Now my friend and I were howling at her startled reaction which I'm sure didn't help her fear. It is a recognized fact that dogs don't like to be hugged, shamed or laughed at.  We smelled nothing nasty but pretty sure she did. Their noses are so much more sensitive.

Now I have done my research and I have found that some dogs fear firecrackers, thunder storms and loud noises while others do actually fear farts.  Evidently I have a fart fearer.  This was no "pull my paw" fun game for her.  She was scared.

I wanted to capture a short video clip of the event but not knowing when she planned to pass gas made that impossible. Only the farter knows when they will erupt and Callie gave no warning cues.  You will just have to take my word.

Not knowing how long this would go on and seeking to bring my poor dog comfort, I checked out some online solutions. Did you know there are deactivated charcoal flatulence pads? I am sure they could be adapted to fit a dog's behind and they supposedly help eliminate the odor.  Oddly, these are not returnable. Smell wasn't yet a problem---fear was, so I looked on.

Noise cancelling doggy headphones? Diet change? Doggy Beano? I even thought of sitting repeatedly on a whoopee cushion myself till the noise no longer frightened her. However she had only shown mild curiosity and never fear at my own (rare??) explosions in the past.

When you live alone, you don't make any serious effort to disguise this natural function so trust me, it wasn't the noise itself that frightened her. It was feeling, hearing and smelling her own farts that shook her world.  Still I was open to trying anything to help her as she was all ready miserable from her butt surgery.

Time however proved to be the best solution.  As her butt healed, the need for antibiotics ended and her intestinal distress calmed right down. No intervention was needed and no more terrifying puppy poots.  At least if she still does, neither she nor I am aware.  Ahhh.

Have you ever had a pet with a fear of flatulence?

40 comments :

  1. Ha ha that's so funny! My two cats didn't seem to fart, or if they did I wasn't aware of it. My daughters on the other hand, particularly my older one, fart to order. Her reaction is laughter, not fear. I'm the one that goes running.

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    1. Joey,
      Now that is funny. Didn't know anyone could fart on command. Keep running:))

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  2. This is hilarious! Over the years we've had Labs as part of our family (but not in recent years). In spite of all this past doggie experience I've never heard of doggie flatulence fear. Our last Lab showed no fear, and certainly no awareness of the passing of gas. Thanks for making me smile this morning :-)

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    1. Carole,
      So glad you enjoyed. I have had many dogs that could clear a room but she is the first one that was afraid of them.

      Delete
  3. I must say that I have never been aware if my dogs ever had flatulence fear. Only you would notice this:-) Non returnable flatulence pads...how unfair. I bet Walmart would take them back.

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    1. Annie,
      Ha ha, think you are right about Walmart.

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  4. P.S. You do know that cow flatulence is destroying the ozone layer don't you?

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    1. Annie,
      Maybe Callie has contributed. It is brutally hot these days.

      Delete
  5. Well, I never heard of flatulence fear before. Over my life experiences as sister, mother, grandmother and teacher, I have encountered a number of young boys who quite delight in the act. Tried to instill some fear in a few, but it never worked.

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    1. Olga,
      Ha ha, they needed to have Olga fear. Somehow, it really is a guy thing.

      Delete
  6. It's funny to run into this post after having seen a silly movie yesterday called "Swiss Army Man," about a farting corpse that comes back to life. We once had a dog that had silent but deadly farts. That was WAY worse. :-)

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    1. Djan,
      Me too. Had a Great Dane that could literally clear a room. He also seemed to get an odd smile when he did.

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  7. Never had a dog afraid of farts, they seem to let them go silently and then act as if nothing happened. Is it possible that after the surgery the farts actually hurt?

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    1. joeh,
      Pretty sure it was fear not pain. She is such a weenie that had it hurt, she would have hollered big time then proceeded to lick her behind. They are that flexible.

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  8. I can now say I've heard everything. I gave serious consideration to getting a Boston Terrier and they are known for fart a lot. That can be a problem in social settings.

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    1. Linda,
      Oh how funny. I didn't know there were certain breeds more susceptible. That ought to be part of the breed description.

      Delete
  9. No, I haven't noticed this problem with my pets. I hope my wife can say the same about ME!

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    1. Stephen,
      Ha ha. As long as you give her warning she should be OK:))

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  10. This is so funny, Patti! You described her reaction so wonderfully, who needs a video? Poor baby. I'm so glad she's healed and not alarming herself any more.

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    1. Dr. Kathy,
      Thank you and me too. I was afraid she might need counseling. I was going to check to see if you did dogs:))

      Delete
  11. So Callie finds her farts frightening? I find them funny!!

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    1. Fran,
      So glad you enjoyed since you spurred the post.

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  12. Never a pet that feared farts, but when our Breezy was still alive, Bob would often blame her for his own gassy problems. Too bad you never came up with a solution - I might have tried it on Bob, though fear doesn't seem to bother him.

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    1. Barb,
      Ha ha, taking the blame for human gas I think goes back to Biblical times. Guess he could give the pads a whirl:))

      Delete
  13. Reading your blog posts is always an adventure.

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    1. Linda R,
      You can't really say I post with a theme can you:)) All over the place is as close as I get.

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  14. OMG, I don't think I've laughed as hard for ages. Poor Callie! I'm glad her tummy has settled down, because I can't imagine how you would ever convince her the poots are just a normal part of life.

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    1. Eileen,
      I am delighted you enjoyed her situation. I know she really gave me some chuckles.

      Delete
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  16. None of my dogs did this obviously which is a good thing since I would have been accused by my spouse...:)

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    1. TB,
      That is funny. I hadn't thought about dogs blaming us instead of the other way around.

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  17. Poor baby. I'm sure there may have been some pain involved too. Glad she is all better. Now when she runs every time she goes poo, we will worry.

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    1. Gail,
      Hopefully there was no pain involved for she was well into her healing when she started passing gas. That however has completely stopped so all is well again.

      Delete
  18. I had not thought about the farting abilities of dogs, but I can attest that horses have on tap the full range and sustaining power of a brass band!

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    1. Peter,
      Ha ha, you are so right. I have been behind my horse when he let go and it will make your cap flutter.

      Delete
  19. No pooting pets here but your account provided healing humor. And, yes, I am addicted to alliteration and enjoyed your use about your puppy.

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    1. LC
      Sure glad you enjoyed. I probably could have gone a bit farther with the alliteration. I enjoy it too.

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  20. Oh my gosh, Patti, I am falling out of my chair laughing...tell pups I am sorry, but this is so funny! My daughter has bullies and a wienie dog and they are all stinky butts. I'm talking smell up the house. They do not care a whit either...just lay there are snooze on. Thanks for the funny story..it made my day.

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    1. Terri,
      Sure hope you didn't hurt that bum leg falling out of the chair:)) Thank goodness Callie is odorless. Your daughter has my sympathies. My cat at one time could clear a room.

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    2. Terri,
      Sure hope you didn't hurt that bum leg falling out of the chair:)) Thank goodness Callie is odorless. Your daughter has my sympathies. My cat at one time could clear a room.

      Delete