Monday, August 14, 2017

EMBARRASSING MOMENT

Don't have anything for today so I thought a personal reveal might buy me some time while I think of a post. Thus a rerun from 2009.

This isn't my number one embarrassing moment, but is darn close mainly because of when it happened. It happened in my senior year of high school. That is the year scorched by drama and trauma for teens. Teenagers really live on the edge don't they? A missed call from "him" could cause a blue funk that only world hunger causes now. Getting a B instead of an A was cause to re-evaluate your "whole life."   

 You want a car and Dad says "earn it."  And, "No, you can't date a guy who is on probation." Every thing is either over the moon or under the rug. Teenage is a manic period.

I went steady all through high school, just not with the same guy. Usually I went straight from one to another but on some occasions, I was shopping. Randy was on my shopping list.  He was only a junior but he was BMOC (big man on campus) in that grade. Good enough for me. I was a cougar in training.

Randy was quarterback of our foot ball team and when he asked if I would go to the pep rally bonfire with him, I was really excited. We hadn't had a date yet. We were just in the talking and walking in the hall together stage. This was the next step.  He would have come to pick me up but he was one of the guys building the huge pyramid for the fire so we planned to meet there.

I previously mentioned that when I hit puberty, the only thing to develop was my personality. I had to get by on personality, being almost cute and relied heavily on the "new girl" mystique. 

As a senior in high school, I was barely filling out my double A bra. Men may grow into leg or bootie guys, but they definitely aren't in high school. They are one track and I wasn't on that track.

It was my best friend who led me astray that night. She had mentioned that she enhanced her look by stuffing Kleenex in her bra.  Wanting to really impress Randy, 
I decided to deceive. I carefully folded a wad of toilet paper into each cup and was thrilled with the look. I was no Dolly Parton, but I was age appropriate---almost a B.

There was a little extra strut in my step as I went to the bonfire to meet Randy. He was so cute and my heart went pitty-pat as he came over to see me. I was wearing my best V necked sweater and with my new enhanced form, I was feeling pretty confident.

Randy gently picked a piece of lint off my sweater as he excitedly told me about the fire preparations. Then he got a funny look and reached for my chest.   Just a tiny bit of toilet paper must have shown at the edge of the V and he pulled on it.

Well the toilet paper pulled out of my sweater like it was on a roll. I had folded it just right. His eyes widened and he kept pulling. My one side dwindled till it was once again a puny double A but I was sporting my almost B on the other side.

If only Florida had earthquakes and the earth could have opened to swallow me, I would have been grateful. The horror of seeing the toilet paper unrolling inch by inch from my sweater was bad enough but then Randy started laughing. He held up the strip of paper and said loudly,"Hay, look what I found."

Good thing you can't die when you want to or this computer would be on someone else's desk. I tried to lie and say that I had wrapped my money in that paper and was carrying it in my bra. I told you, I am no good at lying. 


Pretty soon there was a crowd of laughing football players around me. Thank goodness the Internet and cell phones hadn't been invented yet. The same friend who had advised me about the tissue stuffing, grabbed me and dragged me out of there.

I knew my high school career was over. I wanted to drop out right that second. Certainly I would be the laughing stock of the school and no teen can survive that. The weekend was a long and miserable as I feared the worst.  

Monday however was actually uneventful. I spent the whole day in dread with my eyes studying the floor as I went from class to class. Oddly I heard no buzz nor even a snicker.  Class was normal, my friends were normal. Somehow I think had that happened today, my reveal probably would have gone viral. Ever so grateful to have grown up in the pre-tech days. 


Do you have an embarrassing story you care to share?  

38 comments :

  1. Oh my that was embarrassing, but Randy groping at your breast seemed a bit forward seeing as you hadn't had a date yet. Thank God we grew up in the days before mobile phones.

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    1. Joey,
      Ha,ha. I think his original lint hunt cleared him of being forward. Or at least in my mind that day. Now you have me thinking.

      Delete
  2. Wow, that tops any embarrassing moments I had in school. I'm not sure I could have gone back to school on Monday after that.

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    1. Jean R.
      I was so tempted to just drop out. However, it seems guys don't gossip like we ladies do.

      Delete
  3. My most embarrassing moment was just now. I am so embarrassed for YOU as I empathize in horror. Falling backward into a planter in the bank lobby where I worked with my legs splayed wide cannot even come close.

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    1. Annie,
      Mercy, sure hope you had your best "in case you are in an accident" panties on that day:))

      Delete
  4. I'm sure I have stories like that in my teenage past, but they aren't popping into my head. I sure did enjoy your embarrassment these many years later, though. Thanks for the great story! :-)

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    1. Djan,
      Happy to entertain. it. Humor is catastrophe in retrospect and 60 years is plenty of retrospect.

      Delete
  5. That is a story that I cannot top!

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  6. Oh gosh! I know it had to have been mortifying, but you wrote it so beautifully, Patti, that you couldn't help but chuckle at the story. I'm glad I have a poor memory because I really don't want to remember my unfortunate stories.

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    1. Kay,
      Thank you. At the time it was horrible, in time it just got funny.

      Delete
  7. Dear Patti,when I was young, I'd pee if I giggled too much. One day in seventh grade I was standing at the front of the room giving a speech about the Liberty Bell. The boys knew my problem and so made faces at me, trying to get me to laugh. they were successful and I stood there as the pee dripped down my legs. I kept talking--my speech grade depended on it!!!!--and soon stood in a puddle of pee. When I completed the speech, Sister Mary McCauley said, "Dolores, there seems to be some water on the floor. Would you get a rag and wipe it up?" Even the boys ended up being embarrassed for me. And as you said, if that happened today, I think it would go viral. Peace.

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  8. Now see, I just blame the guy for not having enough class to stuff it back in there and not mention it. No, what do they do? They make a huge ordeal out of it. Don't worry- what goes around, comes around.

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    1. Terri,
      Oh my gosh Terri. You had me laughing out loud with that.

      Delete
  9. Early in elementary school my class was holding hands & dancing in a circle. My panties fell down!!

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    1. Fran,
      Yikes. That is funny--years later. Did you retrieve them or just step over them like they weren't even yours?

      Delete
  10. Most of my stories are embarrassing, like the time I coached my son's baseball game and ended up with three runners on third base.

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    1. Stephen.
      I LOVED that story. I can visualize those three little ball players on third.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. joeh,
      I sure could have done with out his holding it up and called attention to it.

      Delete
  12. Love this! I remember in 6th grade a well endowed classmate showed us an exercise where you put both hands together and pressed on the sternum while chanting "we must, we must, we must improve the bust!" Imagine my dismay when I realized it didn't work!

    When I was in 6th grade, the Camp Fire Girls had a party where you could invite a boy to attend with you. Of course I invited the cutest boy in class. I sent my invitation on a scrawled note, as I was too shy to ask him in person. Later that morning I saw him showing the note to other boys in class and they were all laughing! I was crushed. Very embarrassed too! So glad those days are behind us...

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    1. Carole,
      I did those exercised too:)) Didn't work for me either. Yikes, you ran into a jerk also.

      Delete
  13. I don't think anyone can ewer top your stories.

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    1. Linda R,
      Thanks but I don't know. Three so far probably have me beat.

      Delete
  14. I agree with Joe, Randy had no class or he would have stopped pulling...I guess as a teen most of us don't have much class at times.

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    1. Jimmy,
      True, I sure wasn't the most thoughtful person at that age.

      Delete
  15. I was pretty cautious to ridicule as a teen but as a young adult, omg, I had some embarrassing moments. My co-workers and I went dancing while working in a small town. A handsome cowboy as me to breakfast. We were to meet at the hotel restaurant where we were staying. I walked into the restaurant and saw a handsome cowboy with gray felt hat sitting alone, so I marched over to the table and said 'Good Morning.' We chatted for a bit and his responses to my questions seem odd but I brushed it aside. A few moments later, our waiter came with a note in hand and said the gentleman over there sent the note. I glanced over and to my shocked surprise, I see the guy I danced with the night before in police uniform. The note said 'I thought we were having breakfast?' I immediately excused myself and rushed out of the restaurant....I was so embarrassed. I literally ran to the conference room, slam the door shut to see my stunned co-workers and when I told them what happened, they roared with laughter.

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    1. Rita,
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. LOVED your story and could only think, "better you than me". Isn't it amazing how fast we can move when embarrassed?

      Delete
  16. Boy, that was a good one. Thanks, you write of it so well.

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    1. Mage,
      Thank you so much. So glad you liked it.

      Delete
  17. I chuckled away through your whole entry. I can't imagine anything worse !
    My embarrassing times came much later.

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    1. Ginnie,
      Thanks, that is what I was going for:) Actually my most embarrassing came later also but it is one I will never tell.

      Delete
  18. Okay, I haven't told this to many people and now I am sharing it with thousands. When I was in grade school a few of my friends and I would get together at recess and go way out in the playground behind the scoreboard for baseball games and tell funny stories to each other. How many funny stories grade school girls have to tell, I don't know, but we seemed to keep each other entertained. It was my turn to tell a funny story and I was standing up in front of them talking and laughing. Sadly, I had also drank a lot of water before we went out there. Suddenly a warm stream of water started running down my legs. I looked down in shock and up to my friends' faces, who were also in shock and all I could do was finish the job. Then it got really quiet for a second. I don't even remember what if anything was said after that because we went from frivolity to complete shock. Thankfully, it was the last recess of the day and I was wearing a skirt that didn't get wet although my stockings were. We all silently went back to class and I could not wait for the final bell to ring so I could get out of there and get on the bus for home. To this day, none of those friends have ever said anything about my "accident," nor did they ever tease me about it. We did stop going out and telling funny stories, though. I wonder why.

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    1. Snickelfritz,
      Goodness, seems a lot of that was going around. Impressed you were able to finish. Think we both had some really cool friends.

      Delete
  19. After some semi serious thought... From teenage years on I was subject to severe and debilitating migraines. The only relief was valium, turn out the lights and putting a pillow over my to try and fall asleep. If that was all accomplished I might wake up later much improved. It seems on that Christmas day my bride and I had just celebrated a fine dinner at the apartment of her divorced and elderly mother. Developing a severe migraine I was sent into MILS bedroom to try and recover. The room had two single beds with a small nightstand in between. Luckily falling asleep it was sometime later when I sensed someone opening a drawer in the nighstand I took it to be wife and wishing to assure her of my survival by giving her a substantial goosing. Even with the pillow still over my head I immediate recognized the "oh oh ohs" and not belong to my wife. My wifes quick arrival and her assurances to her mother that migraines often forced me into delirium help save the day. The next
    Christmas,the kind and forgiving woman gave me a beautiful sweatshirt featuring a goose wearing a Christmas wreath....:)

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    1. TB,
      First I feel your pain about migraines. They are miserable. Had them for 10 years till I out grew them.
      That was a priceless story and I just loved your MIL's sense of humor with the sweatshirt.

      Delete
  20. I felt for you as I read this post sweet Patti...that had to be so embarrassing. I had so many of those moments I have blocked them all from my memory over the years. I am thankful there was no cell phones, Facebook or computers back then. I am also thankful that I will never have to relive my teenage years. Hugs

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