Monday, March 30, 2020

SWEET BUT SO SAD


This new normal has me wondering how all this confinement is effecting different age groups.  I was curious how the very young were processing it all.

I tried to remember back when I was a child and the polio scare kept us out of public swimming pools and away from any large gatherings.  I do remember being really disappointed we couldn't go to the circus due to the large crowds.  I resented the rules but only felt annoyance, never fear. I recently got a hint of how some youngsters today may be dealing with this.

My lawn mower is ailing so I had a young fellow I know come to pick it up so he could work on it for me.  He usually brings his older kids to help him with any needed muscle but this time he brought his youngest son who had to be around 5 or 6 years old.

The child stayed in the pick up and peeked through the sliding rear windows to watch his dad load my mower on a trailer.   Out of nowhere he softly said, "Daddy, I love you."

His dad smiled, looked at me and quietly said,  " That usually means he wants something or has done something."

I was smiling too till I heard what came next.

"What you want son?" his dad said as he tied down my mower.

"Nothing Daddy," the young boy said softly, "I just love you."

Well Dad studied the ground and I had to turn away and choke down the lump in my throat.

Perhaps the small ones who don't really understand are feeling the fear also.    Have you seen this in your young family members?   I can only hope they are oblivious and like I once was, annoyed but not fearful.

57 comments :

  1. We haven't seen the small children in our lives since the beginning of the month, and aren't likely to for at least another month. I wonder how they are holding up. I think that it must be very frightening for them to have their whole life change over night.

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    1. Lisa,
      That is true. Most small children are being denied visiting with their older relatives. They may be enjoying more time with parents but being confined to homes has to be frustrating. This is truly a hard time.

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    2. This is a unique opportunity for parents to spend time with their young ones except so many will be under the greatest stress because of virus fears that they will find it hard to let go of the stress and just concentrate on family. I wish them all the best

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  2. It's hard to know what kids are absorbing. They hear things on the television and from adults and from their friends and some kids are incredibly sensitive to the emotional atmosphere. School closures, loss of routine and time with friends all have to be hard on them too. We have to hold so many in thoughts these days it can get overwhelming.

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    1. Olga,
      I agree that this is overwhelming when we have to spread our sympathies in so many areas. I'm sure with all the media and the isolation, they know something scary is going on. They don't have the luxury I had as a child from lack of information.

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  3. Me too Patti, hope my grandbabies are taking this well.. I finally figured out how to post..!!

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    1. Jan,
      What a delight to see you here Sis. I am so glad you figured it out. I too hope the girls are doing OK in all this and not too afraid. Stay safe and well little Sis. We will get through it.

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  4. That was such a tender, touching moment. Out of the mouths of babes...

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    1. gigi,
      I know. His need to tell his Dad he loved him touched me greatly. We should all be aware of telling those near us that we love them.

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  5. I am ashamed to admit that I am not coping well myself with all this staying at home and distancing from others. I will survive, hopefully, but I am sure feeling the loneliness. But I do tell my partner often that I love him. Such hard times.

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    1. Djan,
      I know this has to be harder on you than a lot of people. You are use to being highly physical and social. It is like food for you. Thankfully you have Smart Guy right there and happy you are letting him know regularly how much he means to you. We all need to do that with our loved ones.

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    2. Find someone to CALL each day! I've talked to my siblings, some elderly shut ins, two neighbors. Now I'm going to cousins and nieces and nephews!

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  6. What a sweet story. My great-niece is struggling with three kids under five at home. Two have always been picky eaters and just don't understand why they can't have what they want---macaroni and cheese. Normally two are in daycare a couple of days a week to give her a break and they miss their friends.

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    1. Jean,
      Thanks. I guess it is harder for them to understand the new restrictions and it has to be so hard on the parents keeping them entertained. At least they kids have eachother to play with. They may even begin to appreciate their siblings.

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  7. I would have been bawling!! How lovely to witness, both you and Dad :-)

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    1. Margaret,
      As brutally hard as it was not to do just that, I am so glad I got to hear it. It really touched me and I am sure it did Dad too.

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  8. What a lovely moment in these difficult times. That child gave me hope, helped me remember hos important love is.

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    1. Inger,
      Thank you and it is a reminder to all of us to let our loved ones know that we love them. We can't say it enough.

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  9. Unfortunately my grandkids and parent in UK have Covid19 and have reached day 5 so far with might symptoms. Praying it continues on mild side.

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    1. Heidrun,
      Oh Heidrun I am so very sorry. I so hope they continue with the mild symptoms and that they are in the 80% that heal from this. I will put your family in my prayers.

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  10. I am staying with my daughter and grandkids. Life is hard. Trying to keep them amused and active when they are not supposed to go out. The 5 year old is missing her school friends. No amount of play on the garden can make up for school playtime. Life is difficult for us all at the moment.

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    1. Fun60,
      This has to be so trying for parents and in your case grandparents. We all need and miss our friendship circles. Keep staying safe and well.

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  11. I hear my teenage grands are having the most trouble. Apparently Uncle Matt read them the riot act and they are starting to understand.

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    1. joeh,
      This is so hard for us to understand and teens especially. We all need our friendships so much in these times. Good that they at least have phones to keep in touch and that Matt got the point across.

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  12. Oh this story brought tears to my eyes, Patti. This is such a challenging time for everyone, and yes, even the young who really don't have any idea of the scope or gravity of the situation. Such sad times for us all.

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    1. robin,
      Me too. Sadly they don't have the information that we have to help them. They just know their world has turned upside down.

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  13. The gentleman next door had his grandkids over the weekend. I really don't know how they're dealing with this health scare. I vaguely remember the polio scare (I do remember lining up in the gym getting polio vaccines tho). I was wondering just how the school age kids today are getting schooled with computers/cable & other connections at home...but, that's a whole 'nother scenario.

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    1. Anni,
      I remember that polio vaccine also. When I got it was the oral vaccine.
      I feel for those kids who just don't have computers at home. They will be so behind.

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  14. Patti, you sure have a way with words and so does that little boy... God bless him, this was so sweet. Thank you for sharing it with your readers :^)

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    1. Doug,
      Thanks so much. He really hit my soft spot.

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  15. Like all things in life, it's all about ATTITUDE. IF parents are dealing with this in a positive way, then the kids will easily adapt. IF the parents are angry, frustrated and not dealing with the changes, then the kids will pick up on that and react that same way. We older folks grew up knowing that crisis happens, and how we and how our parents dealt with it is something we well remember. Young and even middle age adults today have never EVER had to suffer --until now. SO --it's harder for them and their kids.. Maybe --lots of good will come out of all of this and everyone will realize what you and I know, that everyone will quit taking life for granted --and will work harder to contact those who live far away, much more often... George and I are fine ---and on Social Media, I am trying hard to stay positive and keep the FAITH.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    1. Betsy,
      It is harder today for kids for they have access to so much information. No way to filter what they know. When we were kids, the news we got was in the paper or on the radio. Now it is everywhere.
      So good to hear you and George are doing all right. Take care of eachother and stay safe.

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  16. My grandson is only 3 so I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand. But he does get antsy and wants to go play with his friends. My daughter has been taking him for drives and having him play in the yard. He has chats with me and his other grandmother(and his idiot father - oops outside voice), via video chat every few days. He's pretty resilient.

    I do think that kids do pick up on the concerns of their parents. How sweet that he isn't afraid to tell his dad that he loves him, even in public.

    Take care and stay well!

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    1. Eileen,
      What impressed me so much about the incident was that he so openly told his father that he loved him. It was so sweet.

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  17. I don't see any young ones these days, I don't even know more than one and don't see him hardly at all anyway, so I don't know how they're coping or how much they understand. I do know children understand much more than we think they do. I'm in a suburb of mostly older people and haven't seen any fear, maybe a bit of annoyance at not being able to shop as freely as in the past, not being able to go out in groups on little excursions, but there's certainly no panic here.

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    1. River,
      So glad you are having so few reasons to be panicked. Sounds like you are all obeying the rules and should stay safe.
      My neighbor just tested positive so it has reached tiny town Arkansas.

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  18. Saw our young grandsons from a distance yesterday. We gave each other air hugs. They knew Grandma wanted to hug them so badly. I took them some cupcakes and homemade bread and eggs and they showed me their new swing their daddy had hung from a tree. I think the children will be alright. They will probably remember this time as better than we adults will. I would have loved having this time off from school.

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    1. Snickelfritz,
      I think that has to be the worst part of social distancing. We know it is necessary but not being able to touch, especially the children, has to be hard.

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  19. I have not been around young children but I know my 17 year old grandson has really chafed at not being able to hang out with his friends. His mother has had to really work on him to get him to realize what is at stake. They take life so casually at that age.

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    1. Linda,
      I can imagine how hard it is on Issac or any teen. No sports, no hanging out and stuck at home yet feeling perfectly well. This is a big pill for all of us to swallow and the teens are choking on it.

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  20. Sweet Post - what dad would not love that!!!

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    1. GQ,
      So good to see you here. You have been missed.
      Glad you liked the post and can't imagine any parent not loving to hear that.

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  21. Dear Patti, you always get to the essence. Thank you for this posting. It so touches my heart because when fear they most often do not understand why something is happening. They know bad things wait in the darkness, but they are not sure why. Peace.

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    1. There is so much scary information that the kids have to be picking up on the fear. Kids usually don't just out of the blue tell their parents that they love them. He had to be feeling a strong need.

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  22. I think it is hardest for high school seniors. They are missing out on all the graduation and prom activities. And most of them have been looking forward to the Senior Trip. Unfortunately that won't take place either.

    I think it's easier to manage little children in times that are bad. They tend to follow their parents in reaction and if they are kept way from the news they will know something is wrong in the world but will not know how it might affect them. Wish we had Fred Rogers to help them through this.

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    1. Carolyn,
      You are so right. There are so many milestones that the seniors will miss.
      I totally agree that Fred Rogers would be just wonderful for those young and confused. Hey, he could help some oldies like me. What a sweet man he was.

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  23. i remember quarantine when I had the measles,

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    1. Mage,
      Me too. Didn't much understand it then either.

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  24. Aw, that post brought a tear to my eye. My little great-nephew (just three) is distraught that he can't see his grandma and granddad. He normally sees them every day and just doesn't understand that visits aren't allowed at the moment.
    Around My Kitchen Table

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    1. AMKT,
      There is no way the little ones can understand that they could harm their older relatives. It makes no sense to them. They only want to love them and get those hugs.

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  25. Even my "babies" babies are all in their 30's and, although my two boys are near they are bachelors and so I rely on my friends with small children. Basically they are kept busy and one mother even has a "reading hour" where she reads something uplifting and then they all chip in. She has 11 little ones (can you imagine?) so it takes at least an hour !!!

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    1. Ginnie,
      Eleven little ones?? No I can't imagine. What a saint.

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  26. That Story choked me up too! The last Grandchild we're Raising is 14 and she's been great about it, but clearly the Psychological effects of this are heavy for her. Everything in their World and Sphere of Influence has been disrupted, she's fearful of us catching this and Dying since she knows we're Medically Fragile and hears the TV updates that say they may be Rating Patients due to shortages of Medical necessary supplies and running out. She's Medically Fragile herself, so her own Mortality has become more apparent to her, it breaks my Heart. Her Older Brother is 19 and moved to Washington State, the epicenter of where it first hit on our shores, he's scared and being Seriously Mentally Ill he feels more than vulnerable. Striking out on their own is always scary stuff for any Young Person, for those with Disabilities they are often Aware that their 'Value' to Society is questionable and everything is Transactional... he has a very high IQ and in his latest call told me he is striving to find a Solution because he couldn't bear for Grandpa, his little Sister or I to get it and Die... it made me want to weep during the Call, but I wanted to be Encouraging and Upbeat, Pragmatic and yet Keep it 100% with him too, since he is so Smart he'd know if I was trying to patronize him. Scary times... young people are resilient, but they're gonna Inherit a very different Future now, aren't they?

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  27. Thank you for sharing a sweet moment, Patti. You're probably tired of hearing this, but I love how you tell your stories.

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  28. Oh my gosh! That is so beautiful. You know that father is a beautiful person to illicit such a sweet acknowledgement from his son.

    I know my grandsons are having fun staying home with both parents. They’re too young to understand What this historic pandemic is about.

    I’ve been gone from blog visiting for over a week because I’ve been busy making masks for family and friends. Gosh... I’m so tired of sewing...

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  29. That was a very touching event with that young boy and his father. I haven't heard how my young grandchildren are reacting. I've sent activities for their parents to decide when to give them which I ordered when Amazon shipping was still prompt. They've sent me videos of the kids thanking me as they actively become engrossed with whatever the gift was. Now that they're really confined to their small home and can no longer even go to the large nearby park, I expect they're beginning to feel the isolation. I sent a couple more things that will arrive in a week or so, but there are limits to my keeping this up.

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  30. A sweet moment between that father and son that you were privileged to hear. I think our youngest grandchild, Sam, who is 7 and in first grade, is driving his teenage siblings nuts. The older ones text me and occasionally Sam gets hold of a phone, takes a selfie, and texts to tell me he wishes he could see me and beat me at Parcheesi. Bob and I haven't seen family for a month. We talk to our sons several times a week. I think they're always relieved to hear we're well - it's one less thing they must worry about.

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