Monday, August 3, 2020

DINNER AND A SHOW


Since this pandemic, life has gotten rather of full of the same ole, same ole.  We stay in, eat in, and crowds are only seen on TV.  Often we have to make our own entertainment but sometimes it just lands in our lap.

I had just finished my dinner and was watching the hummingbirds on my porch fight for territory at the feeders when a truck pulled across my driveway.

I have a large drive, about 30 feet across by the road so it is often a stopping off place for driver change overs or just leg stretching.   Wounded vehicles often stop there for drivers to examine a problem, such as running hot, something dragging, or engine knocking.

This day, a large dual wheel, crew cab pickup that pretty much filled up my drive,  pulled up and stopped. As a friend of mine once said, "Two more feet and he could have bought a Winnebago." It was a BIG truck.

The driver got out and came around the passenger side. With his back to me he  looked furtively to his left down the road, then to his right up the road. Nothing coming. Then he totally shocked me as he grabbed his pants and pulled them down to his knees.  No underwear folks, just a well formed butt.

At first I thought, whoa, he was going to take a dump right in my drive way. I was about to send Callie out the door to maybe chase him off before he could make a deposit.  But instead of squatting, he again looked around with his pants at half mast and his buns in the breeze.  I saw he had another pair of pants in his hands.

Suddenly, he looked over his shoulder towards my house. I was about 75 feet away, social distancing to the max.  Since I was not near the window and with my porch, I was certain he couldn't see me but I swear we locked eyes.  I think it had just dawned on him that he had checked the road both ways but forgot there was a house right behind him.

Still partially naked, he reached into the truck bed, got a blanket, threw it over his shoulder like a tent and finished changing his pants.  What was wrong with the first pair I had no idea but he seemed like it was urgent that he change.

I was really tempted to rap on the window and grin really big while waving at him. Just to let him know he had been seen.  I was thinking I might put a blush in his upper cheeks but he just jumped back in his truck and sped off before I could. Pretty sure he felt he got away cleanly.

I was rather pleased that it was a relatively young and firm butt that he flashed at me.  A flabby, saggy, or heaven forbid, a dirty one would have ruined my day. As it was, I got dinner and a show. Thank you young man.

You ever get some surprise entertainment at someone else's expense?

39 comments :

  1. You posted this: "I was thinking I might put a blush in his upper cheeks but he just jumped back in his truck..." Good thing you said "upper cheeks". I probably would have done a loud whistle like the men do at construction sites when a buxom gal walks by.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anni,
      Oh that I had one of those construction worker whistles. Somehow age has robbed me of my whistle and I actually have to clap my hands to call my dog.

      Delete
  2. That would of made to the community board at the NextDoor web page where I live. Glad the butt was a nice one as long as you had to see it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jean,
      That would have given them something to chew on wouldn't it? My only neighbor got the run down shortly after and she thought it was a hoot.

      Delete
  3. Ha! I laughed at the title of your blog, and then had another chuckle as I envisioned this encounter with Mr. Butts. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Djan,
      So glad you got a chuckle and thanks, now I have a name for my bare butt guy. Mr. Butts:))

      Delete
  4. Haha! Good gosh Patti, you sure give new meaning to that title—too funny! I was going to say what’s wrong with that man, but from your description he sounded more right than anything ;-) Well, I suppose in these times you gotta take what entertainment you can get!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doug,
      Glad you appreciated the show:) Hey when the entertainment comes to your gate, you can't be picky.

      Delete
  5. That has to be the funniest blog post I have ever read, and I've been reading blogs for more than 15 years. Thank you for the laugh. And thank you to anonymous butt cheeks for the inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. robin,
      I am delighted you enjoyed. Thanks for a ringing endorsement of the post. Wow.
      If I see Mr. Butts again, I'll let him know you approved:)

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Mage,
      Well let's hope there is one waiting for you right around the corner:)

      Delete
  7. He probably had a miss with the empty bottle he carries so he doesn't have to stop, truth be told. I rarely stop on so called picnic turn offs on my cross country driving cause no b. But when I do its obvious those truckers do i kinds of things.. which makes ya kind of feel for the gals. At this point between being alone and the pandemic butt cheeks would make my day....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barb,
      That is the same scenario my neighbor came up with. She has a son in law that is a truck driver. He did brighten my day.

      Delete
  8. I wonder how much he would have even cared that you saw him if he knew how much you enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda,
      Ha ha, didn't think of that but you might be right.

      Delete
  9. You have the funniest things happen to you! This would be a sight to see, and yes, if I had to see a bare bum, I'd rather it be firm and supple. Wish you could have gotten his attention. That would have been a hoot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Snickelfritz,
      I would have loved to have seen his expression if I had. As it was, he was quite anxious and furtive.

      Delete
  10. That's entertainment that just keeps giving and giving, so I too have now had fun at his expense. Thanks also to you for being such a good story teller.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Inger,
      Thanks for the compliment. I am so glad you got to enjoy the show also if second hand.

      Delete
  11. Well that was certainly interesting for you, and now for us as well. I'm curious about the pants change too. One of those things we will never know the answer to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River,
      I guess a clever mind could come up with several reasons he chose to do that. I will just have to guess.

      Delete
  12. The poor guy might have had a medical problem. I mean, who carries around spare pants? A mystery theatre performance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Florence,
      Well shame on me. I never thought of that. Sure hope it was not a medical necessity. Pretty sure I will never find out. I wouldn't recognize him again with clothes on:)

      Delete
  13. We call it the traveling floor show. You never know what you might see if you keep your eyes open.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. smartcat,
      I know. Just watching a few birds and wow, there he was.

      Delete
  14. What a story! Aside from that I could so identify with your phrase: "We stay in, eat in, crowds are only seen on TV."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom,
      I know. With our schedule these days it doesn't take much to amuse us.

      Delete
  15. That is funny! I have never had a fortunate surprise at someone else's expense. An unfortunate one yes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sue,
      That last sentence sounds like the beginning of a post.

      Delete
  16. OMG you're a lucky woman. I haven't seen a tight tushy in years!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eileen,
      Ha ha, me too until that guy decided to show his wares.

      Delete
  17. Well, that takes the cake! Wonder if he had wet his pants and thats why he changed? We’ll never know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joared,
      It is curious. I just know he really needed to do it and right then. There was no waiting till he got home.

      Delete
  18. Dear Patti, one of these days, you need to publish a book about your many and varied adventures! You have so frequently delighted all your readers with the antics of the humans whose paths have crossed yours. I think you must have such a deep and wonderful and abiding sense of humor and the ridiculous that laughter is just drawn to you. You are a magnet for lovely laughter! Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dee,
      Thank you so much for the lovely compliment. I do try to see the lighter side of things whenever I can. Sometimes I just get lucky and they fall in my lap:)

      Delete
  19. YOu have all the luck, Patti! Last time I stared at buff young guys shirtless roofing the house next to us, I fell and had PT for 8 weeks. Bob thought it served me right.

    ReplyDelete