SHE CAN'T HOLD A JOB

Some of you have wondered at the source my stories. First I have lived a pretty long time, a lot as a divorcee which accounts for the variety of men in my life, but also I have worked most my adult life with the public. Oddly, I was only fired once and usually quit for what I thought a good reason at the time.

Regardless, when I look at all the jobs, I realize this is a spotty employment record at best. Being raised like an army brat and always moving, I found it easy to move on, change jobs and even cities. Only possible saving grace is that two of the jobs occupied 29 years, so maybe it is not TOO bad a record. Still, if I had to fill out an employment application today, I would find it daunting.


I started contributing to the Federal tax base in my 16th summer.

My first real job.

Dairy Queen Manager- I worked for an soft ice cream parlor and actually ran it by myself in the evenings and closed up. I was really excited when my boss told me the first week that I had to eat all my mistakes. Sounds like crazy management??? Crazy like a fox.

At first I had a few “oops” moments for my favorite dishes but in no time I got really sick of chocolate covered cones, banana splits and foot long hot dogs. After a few careless days, I never made a mistake again. What a smart man my boss was. Today I have to be really hungry to eat ice cream. I actually lost 14 pounds that summer and was looking anorexic. Aprons smelling like sour milk will do that.

Department store selling hosiery (that didn't come in an egg) and cosmetics—kind of a yawn.

Gas company clerk-- Now I was fired here. I was in charge of the disconnect and connect orders for the field service men. I was constantly ordering the gas of poor people with half frozen children back on with only a promise to pay of one dollar a week. That was the only job in the company available so they had no choice but to let me go. No amount of stern lectures from my boss could make me dispassionate.

Answering service –That was where I worked for the former call girl.

Morrison's cafeteria, worked all positions except cook—really ate well for a couple of years.

Dental assistant---- Kept passing out. I was OK with adults getting all their teeth pulled, but as soon as a child would get wild eyed with fear and go "ooh-ooh," I would hit the floor taking all instruments with me. Should have been fired but I quit first. My dentist used hypnotism in lieu of Novocaine which is a story for another day.

Private eye assistant-- that was kind of fun.

S&L job lasted 10 years where I worked as----
1. Switchboard operator
2. Teller

(Due to low pay, I also worked part time jobs while working at the bank
A. New Car dealership
B. cocktail waitress. This I really enjoyed)

3. Head teller
4. Administrative Assistant and coordinator of 9 offices and 40 girls.

College years in my early thirties.
1. Head counselor at a summer camp
2. Waitress at Red Lobster- yuck. I respect those who do wait tables and today I am an over-tipper but I was one who hated the job.
3. Factory assembly line worker-- bigger yuck. Funny however in a Lucy and Ethel in the candy factory way, but for another day.

Power company job lasted 19 years where I worked as a---
1. Meter reader
2. collector
3. meter reader again when I moved to Okeechobee
4. LSA my favorite all time job. A variety of field work.
5. Customer Service.
I took an early retirement offer when every office in the state was closed and 2000 jobs were eliminated. Thanks George Bush Sr.

While working for the power company, I also ran an animal shelter for 15 years.

Self employed day old calf raiser—loved working with cute calves with long eyelashes, but besides the beef market tanking, I kept getting attached to my herd.

Florida Turnpike toll collector

Gated community gate keeper

Some of these you have been exposed to. I could have highlighted links to those with stories attached but then this post would look like a Christmas tree. They can all be accessed through my “Search This Blog“ gadget near the top of the side bar if you are curious. Some are for future posts.

Today I am work free and seriously hope that never changes. I always gave 110% to my employers and now it is time to give 110% to Patti. So now you see where a lot of my former stories and where some future ones will come from. BEWARE.

And what was your most favorite or least favorite job?

Quick update.
All parts are working again with out much pain. Just a twinge here and there. My back went out right after my last post. I had tweaked it in the splat fall and it finally gave in and put me on the couch. That was good however for it forced me to stay put and let everything else heal.

Thank you so much for all your kind comments and I am glad you could see the humor along with me.