SPLAT TWO

I want to thank all of you who showed concern about my “spill.” First off, I am much better thank you sooooo much and thought I'd give you a quick run down of this newly uncoordinated blogger.

Not too long ago, I took a spill while taking my morning walk. Spills are a new venture I've decided to take so for me at least, they seemed blog worth. The first time I was gawking at nature, I stepped in a hole and said a quick hello to the side of the road. It mainly resulted in wounded pride and a scraped knee.

Well I did it again. Blog buddy Patty, also known as Old Lady Lincoln, wondered if my Skecher Tone Up shoes turned on me. I wish I had that for an excuse. Actually, Monday I had gotten in the car to go somewhere, got half way there when I realized I had forgotten something.

Calling my self a few derogatory terms that center around being old and senile, I went back home to get the forgotten item. In haste, I ignored the proper way to enter my porch and took a short cut through the shrubs to save a minute. Well that cost me a bunch of minutes.

Exactly what went wrong, I don't know for sure. Some people say that when they fall, it is all in slow motion. My pratfalls tend to be measured in nanoseconds. The only thing I was really sure of was that I apparently decided to whip the porch floor into submission with my nose. Yep, my nose. I landed square on my beezer , felt it flatten and was quite surprised that it could do that. I was a little embarrassed that my breasts made no effort to cushion the fall. In my case sadly, nose trumps breasts.

I rolled to my side and realized I pretty much hurt all over but primarily my nose had my attention. Blood poured out as I got to my feet to check all parts. My left wrist hurt a little as it had probably tried to catch me but it must have decided , "Aw, let the nose take this one."

Same old knee from Splat One, was once again minus flesh. Then I noticed my ankle was not happy with me either. Still, once I stopped the nose bleed, I was OK, not good but OK. All moving parts—moved. So I got what I came back for and went where I had originally planned to go. It took about an hour for the full effect to set in.

I have in my lifetime broken my nose twice and am well aware of that particular pain. This was not a good pain but I was pretty sure it wasn't broken. Broken nose pain is blinding. This wasn't.

One thing you can't do with a broken nose is laugh, it hurts too much. When I came home, I got a bit tickled with myself as I surveyed the crime scene. As I envisioning the sight I must have made falling, I had to smile a bit. Then wondering ironically if maybe this time I was able to straighten out my formerly off kilter nose( it usually listed to the left), caused me to laugh and laughter didn't hurt—ah ha-- no broken nose--just a really sore one.

As the day progressed, the wrist was feeling neglected so it swelled and made typing really uncomfortable. Not good for a blogger. The ankle wanting in on the action, also swelled and insisted I walk funny. Pretty soon I was wondering where the He*l my blankety-blank walker was.

The good thing is that after a few days with some terrific pain pills plus following RICE ( Rest, Ice Compression and Elevate) almost to the letter ( I was negligent with the ice) I am much better. But the best thing is that considering the force that I fell, I didn't break anything. That pretty much takes Osteoporosis off my fear list.

So I am back, a little battered, but functional and maybe with a straight nose for the first time since I was 16 years old. Life is so good.

Thank you so much for your caring. I'm sure by next week I'll be good as new with a possibly straighter nose. I've said it before and will say it again, you all are the best.

THOSE OF YOU IN THE PATH OF EARL, PLEASE STAY SAFE.