THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK

I heard that excuse from my classmates growing up but I never for an instant believed it nor did the teachers.  I mean, dogs do not eat paper--do they?? We tend to believe from first hand experience and I had never owned one that did--till now.

It appears they do--never to late to learn a truism. I hope all those classmates I thought were lying forgive me.

Callie has so far been the perfect dog.  She has been immaculate with her house training.  She not only comes when called but races madly for home like a greyhound when I clap for her ( my aging whistle still doesn't work).

Hands down she is the best couch snuggler I have ever enjoyed, man or beast.   Dog snuggling is not a means to an end as with a lot of  men.  For the dog, it is the end. As she snuggles on the couch with me she wears the beatific expression of a TV Evangelist. Dogs do smile.

She is also smart as a whip. I think if I had time and inclination, I could teach her to play chess.  I am amazed how well she can tell time to the minute.  She will let me know when it is precisely 3:05 PM which is time to start preparing her last meal of the day. She is quite rigid on that. I'm kind of wondering what the time change will do to her inner clock.

As much as she is a chow hound, she will leave my meals untouched even when in full reach. I easily could put a sirloin on the coffee table, then leave the room for 5 minutes knowing full well, it will be there without so much as a nibble or lick when I get back. Yes, I have done that.

She will meticulously clean up any crumbs I may drop--after I get up to do the dishes. That was something I missed when Mighty passed.  Scarfing up crumbs is not a cat behavior nor a trick I could train Minnie to do. For this function, dogs rule. As you can see, Callie has great manners, is very intelligent and is quite useful.

So who would have guessed, she would eat my phone list for a group I belong to which had been left on that same coffee table where she politely ignores my dinner?

I commit no phone numbers to memory and rely on my list, even for people I call frequently.  I know, I should use the directory installed in the phone but for some reason, I balk at this solution and always rely on my hard copy list. Hey, I am old and am allowed my quirks.

Now she didn't just shred the paper in small pieces---she ingested it. But for some reason, she doesn't like crusts and left the outside edges in four pieces. Wonder why the edges don't taste good?

We are talking a full sheet of paper here folks, minus the corners.  I was a little afraid it might plug her up but she has had no ill effects.  It safely passed, and yes I spent a couple of days on poop patrol. That was fun.

She has never messed with my books, mail or newspapers on that same table, just that list. Maybe she doesn't like me being on the phone and ignoring her??

I am sorry but I didn't get a picture of the remains and her remorseless face. Most dogs master the "I'm so sorry and I'll never do it again," look when they misbehave.    However Callie actually appeared quite proud of her deed and expectant of praise.

Pretty sure you former teachers out there are now scoffing my claim without any pictures to prove my story. You will just have to trust me. My camera battery has died and needs replaced.

Since this is so far her only flaw, the simple thing will be to train myself not to leave phone lists lying around. I think I can learn to do that for besides the inconvenience of  losing my list, poop scanning is not a fun activity. Luckily, I am still trainable.

You ever have a pet with a strange fetish?