Sunday, March 8, 2009

BITS AND PIECES

One more hospital trip. This time it is my lawn mower with an incontinence problem. She is steadily leaking oil. She can be fixed but since the ice storm, the repair guys are swamped with back work on chain saws. He said it might be a month. Wonder how long it will take to cut an acre with a weed eater ??



Lawn mower ambulance


This came in my e-mail. I had seen it before but thought it funny. However, this time I looked really closely at the license plates. Pretty sure they are Arkansas plates. Rats. Arkansas takes another hit in the" not too bright" department.

To my darling husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately, its not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife. XOXOX

P.S. Your girlfriend called



This next one I had also seen before but every time it cracks me up. This time Arkansas looks pretty good.


EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

A young guy from Arkansas moves to Florida and goes to a big everything-under-one-roof department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'The kid says 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Arkansas."Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. 'How many customers bought something from you today?' The kid says, 'One.' The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?' The kid says, '$101,237.65.' The boss says, '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?'


The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition'

The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'

The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'


Ok- bits and pieces is over and Arkansas is redeemed. Time for the Sunday paper.

Sad foot note. I just learned that Bloggerville lost a dear, original fellow yesterday, Old Horsetail Snake. Hoss had been ill for a very long time and was a favorite visit. The link to his blog is on my list. Visit and check out the archives if you haven't all ready. Didn't personally know him but will miss his humor and wonderful attitude. Rest easy Hoss.

5 comments :

  1. Great jokes! I hope your lawn mower will soon repaired! Happy International Women's Day!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Reader Wil
    Thanks. Was not aware of International Women's Day. Did some research, good idea and back at ya.

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  4. I'm curious about the real story. Hopefully insurance was involved in the mishap.

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  5. Me too Robert. I'm having a hard time coming up with a senerio that matches the photo.

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