Saturday, July 4, 2009


Poor Jeff arrived with their lunches oblivious of their evil intent. You could tell though that he was aware that he was the subject of conversation. His smile was broader and his strut more cocky. I'm sure he thought we (for now I was observing also) were admiring him but am certain he couldn't guess it was in so basic a fashion. I mean, women don't do that ---do they?

Again, he poured on the charm and attention to the younger woman. She studiously examined her fork avoiding his eyes as well as any other part of his body. The two naughty older women and now myself, blatantly observed his "sit upon."

Now if I said we were looking at his broad shoulders or a McDreamy head of hair, no one would be shocked. What is it about observing a behind, something we all have, use daily,and is fully clothed, causes a touch of shock? Maybe it is the judging.


MF asked Jeff what would be one half the cost of DF's check which the two older women planned to split. Instantly, he did the math and impressed her. MF complimented him on his left brain to which he laughed and said that the left was overdeveloped but his right brain was useless. To which he added, " I guess I will have to find a wife to take care of those right brain things for me."

The two older women looked at each other meaningfully. A man doesn't cast out his eligibility unless he is fishing.

Meanwhile, DF was again blushing vigorously and studied either the table or a far wall. She refused to make eye contact with Jeff. The older women were enjoying her discomfort entirely too much. When Jeff left, they teasingly asked DF what she had thought of Jeff's behind. With out thinking, I blurted out, "Oh I'd say at least a 7.75," and started laughing. They looked over at me and they knew I had been eavesdropping. Busted.

We talked for a while and I told them of what I knew of Jeff which was only praise. DF was very pleased to have the attention off her and her cheeks started to regain normal color. Then the ultimatum was issued. She would check it out or they would just stay there till supper time so she might as well "woman up."

Now all this may have seemed like young'un abuse but for all her embarrassment, DF appeared to be having a wonderful time and the prodding was good natured. Finally she agreed and promised she would look on the way out.

I started to leave also for I wanted to see how this turned out. GMF was almost to the door with me when we both turned to watch. We had the catbird seats. MF and DF trailed behind, following each other with MF in the lead.

As they passed Jeff who was facing towards the counter to pick up an order. He suddenly turned , saw the pair and waved. DF had turned to sneak a peek while his back was turned, but panicked when he whirled to face her. She hurriedly whipped back towards the door and ran smack into MF who was standing there watching her.

Now, they both wanted desperately to get away having been caught in the act. In an effort to look normal, they looked anything but and kept running into and stumbling over each other causing more of a commotion. It was a perfect Curly and Moe moment, slapstick timing at its best. GMF and I are in stitches but trying to smother our laughter at the door. Even Jeff , who didn't know the story, was laughing at the clumsy get away attempt that just wasn't working .

Finally outside, we all collapsed in laughter till almost in tears. I thanked them for a wonderful time and was glad I had a lunch to smile about for a long time. Thanks ladies.

Footnote: I will be out of town today so I won't be around to check your blogs till evening. Have a great 4th.


  1. The way you described it, I can see it happening!!

    Have a good time today!

  2. I can see I must start wearing my hearing aids to restaurants. I am missing a lot!

    I leave them home because the screaming kids are muted. I don't hate kids, but when they are allowed to scream and cry forever, it is disturbing to a peaceful meal.

    Further if discipline is called for, please remove from the dining area before enforceing it.

  3. i have enjoyed reading your posts including the older ones..

    Have a wonderful evening!

    One Day at a Time

  4. Wonderful Story, Patti. Have you ever seen the three of them again.. Hopefully Jeff and DF are married now with a baby on the way!!!!!! (See how I can add to your stories!!!!! ha)

    Hope you have a wonderful 4th.

  5. kenju,
    It was a fun day. Hope you have a great 4th and week end.

    I can see why you wouldn't want hearing aids in a restaurant. This particular one was so noisy that everyone had to raise their voices to be heard. They used to have smoking sections, why not kid sections?

    Thank you so much for stopping by TNS and for your very nice comment.Always thrilled when someone actually reads the older posts. Will check out your site now.

    I knew you would go for a happy ending.You are such a nice person. Wouldn't that have been neat for them to get together? I do see two of them now and then. No wedding bells as far as I know.

  6. Wickedly funny! Jeff’s ego is probably bursting from all that attention – not every man can cause grown women to fall all over themselves. : ) That must have been a sight!

  7. Very funny story. I was hoping for that blissful happy ending too!

  8. Jewels
    Ah, if he only knew. Of course I am sure he was thinking it was his charm, good looks and personality and had nothing to do with his behind.

    Aw robin,
    So sorry it didn't have a happy ending but it is still early. Maybe I should have waited a while to write this to see if it turned out better. You and Betsy are pure romantics.

  9. Excellent. This story makes me smile. Enough said.

    Patti, you're the best.

  10. Thank you Barry but YOU are the best for hanging in there watching women at their worst. Appreciate it.

  11. Well....there we are! Maybe DF will go back there by herself and really take the time to check Jeff out on her own terms....Oh. That sounds like the beginnings of a Movie Script! (lol)

  12. OOLOH,
    Think you have it. On her own, she would have done better but I am pretty sure she would still be a "butt" virgin.

  13. Great story, Patti! Thank you very much!

  14. Wonderful story, Patti! I have to admit I've not paid much attention to men's "sit upons" but I may have to start checking them out... and at MY age! Tsk, tsk! Snow on the roof, fire in the chimney?