Friday, July 3, 2009

TWO D-O-W AND AN INNOCENT

I couldn't help but overhear. It was a crowded restaurant but the conversation was clearly discernible. They weren't embarrassed to talk loudly and I wasn't embarrassed to listen. I was dining alone, my food nearly finished, so I cocked an ear and focused on what they were saying.


The three women were obviously comfortable with each other. My guess was that I was seeing three generations, daughter, mother and grandmother. My guess from the conversation was that the youngest was separated from her husband and was fearfully contemplating the dating game.


"What do you look at first when you meet a man?" MF (careful folks, that stands for Mother Figure) tossed out.


GMF(grandmother figure) replied,"First the smile, then the eyes and am sure to check out his behind when I can. A great behind can make up for a lot of physical flaws."

MF laughing," Me too, me too."

DF(by now you should be pointed in the right direction and are thinking, Daughter Figure),eyes widened as though she were seeing these women for the first time. With flaming cheeks she just said,"You must be kidding. I don't know you two. I have never looked at a man's behind."


Just then their waiter, Jeff, appeared to take their order. Now I have known Jeff for years. He waited on my husband and I regularly and since my husband passed, Jeff has been extra special to me. He goes to my church so we also see each other outside of the restaurant. He is every women's dream of the perfect son.

Some waiters are good and efficient. Jeff was all that but he also had a charm and ease about him that made him a favorite. He really liked people, his job and as far as I could tell, he never had a bad day.

He was asking flame faced DF what she wanted to order. The older ladies caught DF's eye and were cocking there heads towards Jeff with absolutely lascivious gleams in their eyes. It was obvious to them at least that Jeff was flirting with DF and they wanted DF to flirt back.

When Jeff left, the two older women pounced on the younger one who was bleeding through her cheeks.


"What did you think of him?" MF asked, then wickedly added, " What did you think of his behind?"

The older ones looked at each other and agreed, "A good seven. Nothing to stand alone but definitely not a deal breaker."

At this, DF threw her hands in the air and said,"Who are you? I don't even recognize you."

Now I must admit, I had never looked at Jeff's behind but now I was curious. Besides, we weren't related so what would be the harm. Had to admit, I have been guilty of that also through out the years, all the while condemning men who talk to your chest. Hum, does that make me a D O W (dirty old woman) also?

Suddenly, I could not wait for Jeff to come back. My dessert was almost gone and this was too much fun to pass up Ah, here he comes----------


16 comments :

  1. Talk about leaving someone hanging...

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  2. Now we're all waiting for Jeff and his behind...

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  3. Photos, please!!! Now I'm very curious!


    It's funny what daughters will say about their mothers flirting. Mine think it is horrible if I even hint at liking someone's looks (let alone his behind) and say...."EW". Little do they know.....LOL

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  4. Laugh out loud funny and the comments posted made me laugh even harder! I love D O W! I’d say the DW was lucky to have such fun-loving family! (Did you see a jump in hits from the MF?) Can’t wait to read tomorrows post!

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  5. 4th Sister
    Just trying to spare you a long story. Don't want your eyes glazing over half thru.

    Robin,
    Ah ha, bit of the DOW in you also I fear. His fanny is on the way.

    kenju
    Wish I could provide photos but I am trying to keep everyone anonymous to protect the innocent.I am in there but not necessarily where you think.

    Jewels
    DF's family held no meanness in their hearts, just fun.
    No extra hits so far, just regulars and some new ones from the other day.

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  6. When are you going to show some photos of Jeff??? You are gettng more and more a habit of ending your stories with a cliff-hanger.Have a nice day tmorrow!

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  7. D.O.W. hmmm. Will ponder that.

    I guess men and women are attracted to different parts of the opposite sex's anatomy.

    I was attracted to my husband's legs. When younger they were ideal and skinny. I was envious because even at my lowest weight I perceived my legs as unattractively large.

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  8. Wil,
    Don't have any pictures unfortunately. I guess if I could learn to make a long story short, I could do it in one post.
    Thanks for remembering the 4th even though it is not your holiday.

    nitwit,
    Legs are good. Almost as good as behinds. I like hairy, muscular ones--legs of course.

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  9. My daughter and I used to watch the men teeing off on the first hole at the club, and compare behinds. It's all about bonding.

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  10. Something tells me I should stay out of this one. Carry on, ladies.

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  11. Betty
    That is a great mother/daughter pastime. Proud of you. That would be a great place to observe.

    Poor Barry,
    Kind of beating up on you guys. Of course this is a good time to find out what goes on in our heads. Ah, maybe it is best you don't know but feel free to lurk. No one will know.

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  12. Awe Patti---you stopped just at the important part... Can't wait to hear more tomorrow.

    Did you get so excited when seeing Jeff's 'other' side that you got your dessert all over your mouth?????? ha ha

    Have a great 4th---and eat some of that dessert for me too.
    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  13. Betsy,
    Not quite. Just have to see.
    I'm going out of town tomorrow so I hope I get the rest of the story in. Pretty sure I can.
    You and George have a great and safe 4th also.

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  14. What a GREAT Overheard Conversation....I think I might have had to order another dessert so as not to miss the rest of this...! Personally, I cannot say I am a "butt" person....Of course I might notice a man's butt at some point, but it is not the first thing I see.....The Smile and The Eyes! That's what I see first.

    And Jeff's butt? Will you tell us your opinion at some point? (lol)

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  15. OOLOH
    Me too on the smile and eyes but have to admit that I give the behind a serious look.A bad one is not a deal breaker but a nice one can be a definately plus,

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  16. Superb .. I couldn't stop laughing :D

    I'll go with the smile that reaches the eyes surely.. have never paid attention to the derriere.. i'm getting the feeling that i've missed something in life ;)

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