THE BEST MEDICINE

 My regulars know I took a spill a couple of weeks ago and hurt my shoulder.  I didn't see a doctor but visited Dr. Google at his Mayo Clinic site and he informed me I was text book for a rotator cuff tear.  He also informed me that the healing process could be quite long and annoying but often did not require surgery. Doc Google has been spot on so far.

The initial breath sucking pain did subside after a week and I was left with a dull ache and only had the occasional sharp pain when I over reached, like getting dressed, undressed, or tending personal functions.I have gotten pretty handy with my left hand and arm.  I did develop an annoying and constant neck pain from awkward sleeping positions trying to avoid the shoulder at night.  

I have mentioned before that I am my own caregiver and a rather surly patient. There were times the caregiver in me  just wanted to huff out of the room and let my whiny self figure it out.   

Ha, no I am not a split personality, well I don't think I am. It is just my two functioning selves when I'm ill often squabble.

After two weeks, I finally managed to put on a bra.  The girls had enjoyed their freedom and really kind of liked it. Being winter with bulky clothes made being bra-less something I could get away with in public. But, I had a luncheon date with my friends and figured I probably couldn't wear a coat through out lunch, thus the demon bra. It hurt like a sucker putting it on but I finally made it. My girls were quite sulky about being confined once more.

Those of you my age or near it realize the main topic of conversation with a lot of older people is their health. Parts just fall off or fail after so many years.  We are like old cars, always in need of repair. A  woman that hadn't been to the luncheons in quite some time showed up and brought us up to date on the absolute misery she has been in while absent. 

She had previously had a mastectomy which qualified her for our Cancer survivor group.  Earlier last year she had knee surgery.  She just recently found out she will need surgery on her other leg due to dreadful circulation and is also scheduled for a heart bypass in 4 days.  The bypass is scheduled first. Yikes.  

For me, it was a classic case of  " I moaned because I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet."  She sure made my achy shoulder seem like a hangnail.  On the spot, I offered up a silent prayer for her health and recovery but then I added a quick PS in the form of a grateful thank you for having only a minor "owee" in comparison. 

When one of my friends who knew of my fall asked me to tell the ladies about it, all I could give was an embarrassed three sentence account. "I fell. I tore my rotator cuff. It is so much better."  My need to whine was gone.  

I have blog buddies who have had or are now dealing with a frozen shoulder--a MUCH worse condition.  Others are facing eminent, major surgery or dealing with life altering conditions.  Dang am I lucky. 

Oddly, getting away from my own minor problems helped more than all the pills and creams I had been using. I still have pain but somehow now, it is much more tolerable. I learned the quickest way to heal myself is to quit being obsessed with healing myself.  Most of you who are volunteers, all ready know the benefits of this transference of attention and action. I always have been slow to the table.

While getting out of myself is not a cure, it does make the process of healing so much more bearable. I am no longer a cranky patient but a patient one.  I still do my shoulder exercises but now am not angry that results aren't immediate. And oddly by expecting less and by feeling lucky instead of abused,  I am regaining  my health so much more quickly.  Yesterday was almost pain free.   

Ahh yes, old dogs can learn new tricks.