Monday, July 17, 2017

PEACE AND MY FAVORITE CLEAN JOKE


Just a quick video to make you realize just how peaceful your life actually is since you don't have to fight for your food.  These are my frantic Hummers in the
early morning. By late afternoon, there are more than 20 of the scrappers and too frantic to film. Time to put out a second feeder I guess.

   video

I think we all have a favorite joke. One that we can hear more than once and just crack up.

My favorite is an old story but I laugh or at the least smile happily when ever I hear it. The first I heard it was on a late night talk show many, many years ago. Can't remember who told it, just know I loved it.

It was just recently that I became aware of it again as it popped up in a book I was reading.  This is my recollection of it.

Harvey and Moe are baseball fanatics. They follow the game religiously and had played in recreational leagues into their 70's.  

One day they discussed  that being in their mid 90's now meant they were probably hitting the end of the trail. 

They questioned if there might be baseball in Heaven. Both fervently hope so. They then make a pact that who ever went first would somehow let the one left behind know for sure. 

Sadly Moe passes first. After a few days, Harvey is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice.   

"Moe is that you?" Harvey asks hopefully.

"Of course old friend and I have some good news and some bad news. Good news first.  The good news," says Moe, "is that there is baseball in heaven. Better yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet, we're all young men again.  And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired!" 

"Wonderful!!! What on earth could possibly be the bad news? " Harvey asked.

"You're pitching Thursday."

OK, maybe a touch macabre but I loved it. I may have a dark side.

Do you have a favorite clean joke?  Care to share or perhaps blog about it?

39 comments :

  1. That's a good one! Don't you just love watching hummers? They fascinate me- so territorial. I've only ever had one or two feeders out at the same time, but I have seen large numbers of them on someone's porch before. They are just so tiny and fast...and cute.

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    1. Terri,
      They really are entertaining. The most I've put out is 3 feeders but I was making 3 quarts a day of nectar. I felt like a slave to them.

      Delete
  2. That's such an interesting video, one has to remain thankful for life and comfort. That joke made me chuckle, unfortunately I don't have any jokes to share. Warm greetings to you!

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    Replies
    1. Blogoratti,
      Glad it tickled you and thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      Delete
  3. I've given up on attracting hummingbirds. I see them in my pine trees but I think there is too much sap there for them to come to my feeder.

    I never remember jokes to retell. Never could in my entire life.

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    Replies
    1. Jean R,
      I never knew hummers ate pine sap but I just Googled it and they do. Interesting.

      Delete
  4. I tried to look up my favorite cowboy joke because I couldn't remember how to tell it. Could not find the one I wanted but ran across this one and it is pretty funny too. "It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked
    trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse
    went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself
    in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun
    to shoot the snake.
    "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot. I'm an enchanted
    rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you
    want."
    The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the
    snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like
    Tom Cruise, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally,
    I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding."
    The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house
    you'll have all three wishes."
    The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the
    way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside
    to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Tom Cruise. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling
    muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger's. Really excited now, he tore
    down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted..
    "My God, I was riding the mare!"

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    Replies
    1. Annie,
      Ha ha, that was funny. This was what I was hoping for--new funny jokes to read. Thanks.

      Delete
  5. Love the joke! I'm terrible at remembering and even worse and retelling jokes.

    I can't see the video :-( I'll refresh the page to see if that helps. I'm jealous of all the hummers you get! I love watching them. I imagine it gets very busy as the hummers head south for the winter.

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    1. Carole,
      Sorry about the video. You aren't missing much. They are fun to watch though. They expend so much energy squabbling. I do seem to be on a flight path.

      Delete
  6. I'd say that was good news and good news. Still funny.

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    1. joeh,
      Ha ha, good point. I also thought that and think it would only be bad news if you were a youngster which Harvey sure wasn't.

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  7. Now that one is funny ha ha

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  8. I also cannot see the video. But i sure did enjoy that joke! I'll remember to pass it along to some fellow septuagenarians. :-)

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    1. Djan,
      Ha ha, yes it is mostly a codger joke. Sorry about the video. Can't seem to fix it. It really loads slow.

      Delete
  9. Couldn't get the video... Sorry!!!! BUT--I can imagine how busy the feeder was... I didn't put out hummer feeders this year since we had a huge problem last year with BEES getting in them (tons of bees)....

    Here's a story I received from a friend on Facebook:
    Estate Planning
    Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
    One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
    "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
    Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.
    Three days later, she became his stepmother.
    Women are so much better at estate planning than men.


    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    Replies
    1. Betsy,
      I really laughed out loud. That one is a dandy and may become my new favorite.

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    2. Had to think for a second and then laughed out loud.

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  10. Dear Patti, for some reason, I didn't have a video showing. But I can imagine hummingbirds fluttering, fluttering for that sugar water!

    When you live alone, it's so important to read jokes or hear them on tv-- hard to find clean jokes on tv right now--because there's no one telling them to me! I love to laugh and you gave me--with your joke--a real belly laugh. thank you. laughter keeps us young and healthy! Peace.

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    Replies
    1. Dee,
      I know, laughter is so important to a happy, healthy life. So glad this one tickled you.

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    2. Watch Jim Gaffigan. He's a family man who is a stand up comedian and is very funny and his jokes are clean. He's on Netflix and he also has a series on Direct tv.

      Delete
  11. This is great! I'll have to read this to Art. He loves all your posts!

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    Replies
    1. Kay,
      Thank you and I'm delighted that Art likes my posts.

      Delete
  12. That's funny and not dark at all if you know you are going to Heaven. Sounds like a joke Johnny Carson would have told.

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    1. Snickelfritz,
      It was Johnny Carson's show but it was his guest (can't remember who it was) who told the joke. I can still see Johnny cracking up.

      Delete
  13. HAHAHA. Both jokes are great. I'll be sure to share them.

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    1. Barbara,
      I am really enjoying the laughs the comments are bringing.

      Delete
  14. All of those hummers at your feeder! Wonderful!
    I'm not a good joke teller or rememberer, but I do enjoy a good, clean one.

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    1. Linda R,
      When in full season I will easily have 50 of the little squabblers. They sure are fun to watch.

      Delete
  15. A none-too-sharp city fellow bought a farm & decided to raise pigs. He found places to have his sow serviced at one, five & ten miles down the road. They, conveniently for this joke, charged one, five & ten dollars, respectively. He figured they're all about the same so he put the sow in the wheelbarrow & took her to the one dollar place, had her serviced & wheeled her back home.

    The next morning he looked out his window & didn't see any little pigs. He figured that the first place must have been too cheap to be any good, so he put her back in the wheelbarrow & pushed her to the five dollar stud farm, had her serviced & wheeled her back home.

    The next morning there were still no little pigs to be seen. He thought to himself, “You get what you pay for” so off to the ten dollar farm he went, pushing the sow in the wheelbarrow.

    The next morning he was too tired & achy to get out of bed so he asked his wife to look out the window & count the baby pigs. She told him, “There are no baby pigs, but the sow’s waiting in the wheelbarrow!!”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran,
      Ha ha ha, I loved it. Reminds me of a true story I may post about. I knew I could count on you. I am definitely getting some new favorites here.

      Delete
  16. I couldn't see the video. I love hummingbirds and see a lot of them. I have never put out food for them so I guess with all the flowers and pine trees around my area they have plenty to eat. I am happy for you that you have lots of them to enjoy. Hugs and nose kisses for you Callie and Minnie from me and mine.

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    1. Maggie,
      Sorry about the video. Some can see it, others not. Don't know how to fix. This heat really has them stopping by for a slurp.

      Delete
  17. Thanks for the chuckles, Patti! I loved your joke and all the others, too. I'm not real good at remembering jokes and I've heard my share of them. If I think of a good one, I'll come back and share it.

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    1. Cheryl,
      Thanks, I have enjoyed the ones left in the comments also. Kind of a bonus post.

      Delete
  18. There are many many jokes I loved. I get them started and then can't remember the punch lines...:(

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    1. TB,
      Ha ha, we would make a pair. I remember the punch lines but usually mess up getting there.

      Delete