Monday, May 16, 2022

4 AM Memory


I have talked before about the challenges of an iffy elder memory.  Memory is an elusive power that tends to leave us as years pile on.  I have adjusted to occasionally searching for "the" word that seems to have suddenly left my vocabulary.  Those of you with a spouse can often find the lost word by quizzing them and they can often find what they are searching for by asking you.  You understand and help each other out.

I don't have a spouse and Callie and Minnie are useless in that respect. But what I do have is the Internet and time. 

Usually with digging into Google I can find what I am looking for. But if I am in the middle of a conversation, often I go for a substitute word. And if it is a name, I just gloss over what I was saying and hope no one noticed. 

A while back Kay at Musings posted about her pen pal from Norway when she was a teen and she asked if we had had one.

I remembered a girl from Maine that my teacher had set me up with when I was around 11 years old. We both had horses so the teacher thought we would hit it off.  We did but like Kay, I couldn't remember why we quit writing. 

I tried to remember her name but it was gone.  It has been over 70 years so I didn't feel badly about not remembering. I forgot all about it. 

Not too long after that, I woke one morning at 4 AM and the name burned in my brain was "Virginia."  Huh?  It took a bit but then I remembered that was her name. I even remembered her last name. A seventy year old memory came to life at 4 AM.

Actually that is not unusual. I do my best thinking at that hour.  Recently I was talking to a friend about a treatment for COPD that both my sister and I had used but with little success. I couldn't for the life of me remember the name of the machine.  I told my friend, no fear, I will remember at 4 AM.

Sure enough, I awoke the following morning in the wee hours with the word, "Nebulizer" firmly in my head. 

I am wondering if this is unique. I sometimes think I am unique only to find out I am pretty common when I toss the quirk out to the public. 

Do you ever have a word that eluded you earlier, make itself known hours later and often after awakening from a sound sleep?  Just curious.

52 comments :

  1. Patti, I know memory and our ability to tap those memory cells is a funny thing. I can't recall this sort of thing happening to me, but I did wake up a couple hours early today in fact. It's 5:30 a.m. and I'm laying here looking at my tablet. I was looking at my blog I saw a new comment on my most recent post, about Rice-A-Roni. Someone had written the dish sounded good unless it was a Wednesday because that was Prince spaghetti day. I had a sudden, very big flashback of a little boy running through city streets to get home in time for his mom's spaghetti dinner. I haven't seen that TV commercial in probably 50 years, totally forgot it existed! This honestly just happened 10 minutes ago, it's a weird thing. At least our brains are still working. Hope your week ahead is full of good thoughts. 🙂

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    1. Doug,
      It is amazing what is hidden unused in our grey matter. You made me go look up Prince Spaghetti Day. Phew, I don't remember that which is fortunate for I still have an occasional ear worm of Rice-A-Roni:)

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  2. All the time, Patti! I guess some housecleaning takes place in our brains as we sleep. Late afternoons are the worst for my recall. Instead of remembering a precise day of the week I've taken to substituting 'recently'.

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    1. Ooh, I like "recently" and will borrow it. Thanks, I guess our brains just need some quiet time to locate the misplaced files.

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  3. Ya, I have. But, most times my brain functions best while I'm out walking. Dunno why. Sad part is oftentimes something I DO remember, once again eludes me by the time I get back home.

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    1. Anni,
      Know what you mean only it is usually for me thinking of something I want to do and forgetting by the time I get home. We need to carry note pads.

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  4. I've been 'word searching' for a couple of years now. It's very common in our age bracket. I also have answers to questions that I couldn't remember in the day time pop into my brain while asleep and be on my conscious thought the minute I wake up the next day. Our brains are very much like overloaded computers, the more we have in it the longer it takes to find stuff.

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    1. Jean,
      Too bad we can't defragment our brains. At least your brain is kind enough to wait for you to wake up to alert you. Mine catches me on my potty break at night.

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  5. Yes, it happens to me all the time. Not exactly at 4:00am, but often in the middle of the night I'll remember something that I thought was gone forever. :-)

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    1. Djan,
      Isn't it weird how our wayward memories come alive when we are nice and relaxed. Guess they can't handle the daily overload and need some quiet time.

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  6. David tends to be like you. It takes him a while to remember a name. As for me, I am very good with names. My problem is numbers like the price of an item.

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    1. gigi,
      Welcome to the club David. Haven't really thought about the price of an item before. Maybe I am ignoring it since I probably can't remember it anyway.

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  7. Ever since I had that very bad headache in 2010, my memory has never been the same. I was once to the "go-to" person in my family for family history. Now I can hardly remember what happened yesterday. I do remember that I had a penpal when I was in junior high and high school, someone in Sweden. I wish I could remember her name. She was a lovely penpal.

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    1. Robin,
      Know what you mean. I use to be positive about family history, now it is often a question mark at the end of my statements. Just not sure.
      Ooh, how nice you had one from another country.

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  8. Absolutely. Happens a lot. And not always later, or when sleeping - but sometimes while on a walk. I'm terrible with names and once took all day to remember the name of an old mule my cousin had in Mississippi that the 2 of us used to ride. It came to me during the night "Buttons"! And only recently I was doing wordle and couldn't put the 5 letters into a word, but when I was walking the neighborhood later that day, the right word just came to me.

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    1. It seems you not only need quiet time but exercise to dig around in your gray matter for lost material. Hey, whatever works.
      Glad you remembered Buttons.

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  9. Replies
    1. Peg,
      Thank you, I am not feeling a bit unique now.

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  10. Yes but not at 4.00am, normally at 12.00pm just as my head hits the pillow to go to sleep. Then I'm wide awake thinking about why I remembered it now and not earlier in the day.

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    1. Joey,
      Oh no, I think I like getting sleep first better. It is so odd how our brains work.

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  11. Yes, that has happened to me, too. LOL!
    I got a pen pal in 5th grade who lived in Italy. His name was Valerio Ferloni. We wrote for a few years but he started getting all mushy and saying he'd come to the United States. I told him to stop it and he wouldn't. That's why I quit writing...and he did eventually.

    Guess who called on the phone out of the blue my senior year (67-68) from a school on the other side of Minneapolis, Minnesota! Yes, he became a foreign exchange student and did come to the US. But I still wasn't interested in him that way and had a boyfriend. (He was grabby when my folks weren't looking--thought it was free love in the US in the 60s.) My folks loved him, though--LOL!

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    1. Rita,
      Oh my, you had a romantic Italian and that you could remember that name is impressive.
      I guess you didn't tell your folks about him being grabby.

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  12. I have trouble remembering names -- embarrassing like the time I went to introduce my boss to my husband and I completely spaced on her name!! I see the faces clearly and can't quite access the name right away.

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    1. Olga,
      How embarrassing. Weird how it is often someone we know really well that their name escapes us. I am better with names than faces.

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  13. I often remember that word or name a little later, but not much later. Unfortunately it's too late for the conversation I was in.

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    1. Linda,
      Me too but the good thing is that word now stays with me for future use.

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  14. I like the fact that you're "digging around in the brain." Sounds like a ping pong ball bouncing around until it dings on the forgotten word. I just have useless dreams about work, which I wish I didn't. I used to have nice dreams about an ex-husband, who wasn't nice when I was with him. After he died, the dreams stopped. Yep, if I need to buy something, I immediately write it down, or I forget. Sometimes I forget what the item was JUST a I get to my running list. Drats! Linda in Kansas

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    1. Interesting how your ex improved in your dreams. Maybe your mind only stored the good things in the normally unreachable recesses.
      What frosts me sometimes is when I remember something while in the grocery store that is on the opposite end and when I get to that section, I forgot what I was there for. Grrr.

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  15. That happens to me too--the memory works even when we're sleeping and then boom, we remember facts in the middle of the night. My late dad and I used to joke about it, "I'll give you a call at 4 a.m. when it comes to me. " LOL

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    1. Margaret,
      Ha ha, your and your Dad had the same time zone for memory that I have. Now I don't feel unique at all. Thanks.

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  16. Replies
    1. Joeh,
      It isn't an exclusive club we belong to but the company is fun:)

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  17. When I went to programming school I was 38. My instructor said that if I got stuck on a line of code, to sleep on it and let my subconscious take care of it. It usually worked.

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    1. Linda,
      Interesting. Way before computers, my Dad picked up extra money in college but solving difficult math problems for companies which he did in his sleep.

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  18. Yes, but usually in regard to crossword puzzles, so I get up and fill it in then go right back to sleep.

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    1. River,
      Smart of you to write it down and I am impressed you can go right back to sleep.

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  19. That happens to both of us, my husband and I. When I am trying to remember a name or a person, I will consult him, and he, too, has forgotten it. But often of of us will wake up in the middle of the night or in the early morning hours remembering what was forgotten.

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    1. Donna,
      At least it affects both of you. I would be so tempted to wake the other up to tell them. OK probably not:)

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  20. Do I ever? Do I never is a better question. I get stuck on words in about every sentence. My sister and I will often end a phone conversation with missing names of friends and later one of us will call with the fantastic news of remembering.

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    1. Annie,
      Isn't it amazing how often all we need is a little time and it comes back to us. At least with your sister, she understands.

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  21. Oh yes, i have words escape me, use the internet to search by writing a brief meaning of the word or other associated words or information. Frequently thinking about those things can be enough to trigger the word i want to come to mind without using the internet. That is one of numerous techniques to use. Look up “word finding” on Google search fir more ideas. Different techniques work for different words and different people. I’m never awakened in the night as you describe but once in a while a missing word if i haven't bothered to try to find it some other way will pop into my mind. I’ve found it’s best not to think too hard at finding the word if it doesn't readily come as they come quicker if I’ve relaxed my mind. This activity was often one that was part of interventions my profession provided some patients.

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    1. Better add techniques or strategies to word finding in Google search — seems what comes up has changed since last time i did that search.

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    2. Joared,
      You are right about just relaxing and giving it time for that usually works. I do use Google for lost words since I can describe what I am looking for. Luckily most people I talk to have the same condition so they understand.
      I checked that techniques site and I do use all of them especially for names. Patience seems to be the key though alphabet works almost every time.

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  22. Dear Patti, That has often happened to me however usually it’s not a word that’s eluding me but the name of someone. For instance, a movie star of years ago or some other celebrity or political figure or someone I went to school with. The longer I live the more admiration and awe I have for the human mind! Peace.

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    1. Dee,
      Yes the human mind is really powerful. It can make us sick or well. As fot the celebrity I have found the Internet to be a great help but it doesn't help with a childhood friend. Only time and the wee hours seems to bring their name back.

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  23. Hi Patti: I often wake around 3 or 4 and yes I usually can remember names, etc. that I couldn't for the life of me remember the evening before.
    I find that writing (like for my blog) challenges me all the time but I seem to remember things much better there than if I am in the company of others.

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    1. Ginnie,
      Four AM does seem the magic hour for some of us. I think we have just let our minds relax and it comes to us. Also it usually in the company of others that we lose the word to begin with. No pressure at 4 AM. I am just grateful for that magic recovery time slot:)

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  24. I am experiencing the loss of words more frequently. The latest word was traditional. I meant to use it when describing the Piazza on the ship but had to rework the sentence when it wouldn't come to me.
    When I was working I always kept a pen and paper on the night stand. I learned that if I had a difficult problem to solve, the solution would often come to me in the middle of the night. Maybe I need to do the same now for the words I struggle with. I will definitely use the recently suggested by another reader.

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  25. Eileen,
    I run into that when I am blogging and often Google can help me but sometimes not. I have found though that those 4 AM revelations stick with me. Once I retrieve a word, it stays with me.

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  26. Awww... Thank you for mentioning my blog, Patti. And yes, I definitely have that happening to me occasionally where actually days later the name or word will come to me out of nowhere.

    I've actually been on a trip these past two+ weeks. I wrote posts to go up so people wouldn't know we were gone. It's nice to be back but sad to hear all the bad things that have happened while we were in Europe. Good grief! Hopefully, I can get over this jet lag soon.

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  27. One of the side effects of serious diabetes are brain problems because the sugar, oxygen or whatever is not getting to the brain. I have days that I almost couldn't get the words out and then I have good days, especially with my pump, when I'm a Chatty Kathy. I had a pen pal in Canada. We started off fine, but I hit the boy stage before she did so we kind of lost interest in each other. The funniest part was learning that Canadians wore shorts sometimes. I guess I thought it was snowsuits 24/7.

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  28. This "losing" a word and coming up with it later is par for the course with Bob and I. Four AM is when I had my heart attack 12 years ago. I still often wake with a start at that time and do a body check.

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